


you’re my road walking me home

by niallszayn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, niall is a 16 year old x factor runner up, zayn has issues but niall is sunshine, zayn is a boxer turned bodyguard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-08 00:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 68,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1919202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niallszayn/pseuds/niallszayn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After placing 4th on the X Factor, 16-year-old Niall Horan gets signed by Syco and finds his popularity rising constantly. 21-year-old ex-boxer Zayn Malik becomes his bodyguard and wants to keep their relationship strictly business, but that's harder than expected when Niall turns out to be much less annoying and much cuter than he'd thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so! this fic has already been in the works for ages, it's taken me months to get to a point where i could even think about posting it, but recently i finally figured out where i wanted it to go, so now i've already written quite a bit. unfortunately i have a lot to do for uni at the moment, so it might take a while until i'm completely finished, but i've got a couple of chapters that'll be finished soon :) i have no idea how long this is gonna end up being!  
> this is dedicated to casey because she came up with the idea months and months ago, and as always to tori, because she's always there to cheer me on and helps when i get stuck. love you both <3

“You will need one, there’s no discussion there” Simon said and Niall pouted again. “But since you’re so obviously unwilling we decided you’d at least get to choose him yourself. So we made a list of possible candidates, you can look through it and tell us who you’d like to be your bodyguard.”

“Fine” Niall huffed. “I still don’t see why I need one though.”

“Niall” Claire, his agent, sighed. “We discussed this. Yes, your fans are mostly lovely teenage girls that don’t intend to hurt you. But if your popularity keeps rising like this, it could get really dangerous, especially with your claustrophobia.  There's been such a big turn up on your last public appearances, we need to take precautions." 

Niall sighed again. "Okay, yeh. I'll look through the list then." 

"The list" turned out to be a compilation of CVs, letters of application and other references Niall didn't give a shit about. He skimmed through the letters that were all the same, listing qualification after qualification. Niall did definitely not feel like hiring some middle-aged ex-cop as his bodyguard. Someone who quit the police to become a personal bodyguard couldn't be much fun. 

Then suddenly, he came across a letter that didn't look quite as formal, which made Niall immediately curious. He skipped the first paragraph - everyone had the same one anyway - and went straight to the second part. 

"Due to health issues, I am not allowed to continue my professional boxing career, which changes my whole future and everything I had planned. I need to do something for a living, and since formerly mentioned health issues don't prevent me from keeping screeching teenage girls at bay, I decided to apply for this job. I'm not much older than your client and think I can relate to him in this still new situation. Please take me into consideration. 

Yours sincerely, 

Zayn Malik" 

Niall chuckled. That was by far the least motivated letter of motivation he had read, and he loved it. Zayn Malik, he thought. Professional boxer. 

He couldn't really picture him, but Niall wasn't that interested in boxing anyway, football, rugby and golf were more his thing. Basically everything as long as it involved a ball, so definitely no boxing. 

He turned the page to look for a picture and oh.  

Pinned to a -very short - CV was a picture of a man, looking a couple of years older than Niall, tan skin, prominent cheekbones, strong jaw and eyes - Niall swallowed and wondered if it would be a good idea to have someone that attractive as his bodyguard. It was only a stupid small photo and that guy already looked ridiculously beautiful. 

He quickly checked his birthday and tried figuring out how old someone born in 1993 would be. 21. Well that was only five years older than him, they'd probably get along fine, just like it said in the letter. 

And that was the only reason Niall chose that particular file to take it to Claire.  

"I want him" he said, putting the file onto his agents' desk. 

Claire flipped the file open and read the name, looking back up at him, her scepticism clearly showing on her face. "Are you sure? He's the least experienced one." 

"Will he be able to do his job?" 

"Yes. We only gave you the applications that came into consideration." 

"I don't see a problem then. I want someone I could actually get along with since we're gonna be spending so much time with each other, and he seems the best choice for that." 

- 

Niall spent his evening on the internet, absolutely not googling Zayn Malik. 

The 21-year-old had broken into the professional boxing business at the young age of 16, Niall's age, and he started to understand why Zayn had said he could relate to Niall in his situation. According to several articles he had had quite the fan following right from the start, due to people being impressed by his skills despite of his age.  

For four years, he had won many fights, his popularity only rising, until about a year ago, when he had had his wrist broken in a very unfortunate way that prevented him from ever boxing again. 

Niall felt really sorry for him, if something would keep him from ever singing again, he'd be absolutely miserable. 

Apparently, Zayn had completely disappeared from the public since then, he didn't attend any matches or galas, and was very rarely spotted going shopping or eating out. Then again, Niall was pretty sure boxers weren't as sought out by paparazzi as popstars were. 

Niall kept reading through article after article until one of them led him to a video of one of Zayn's last fights. 

He usually wasn't that into boxing, he thought it was kind of weird watching two guys beat each other up, but he was curious about this guy that he wanted as his bodyguard, so he pressed play. 

One hour later, Niall snapped back into reality when his phone rang. He shook his head and tried to get images of Zayn's sweaty body moving gracefully, his muscles flexing and rippling on his back, out of his head. 

"Hullo?" he answered his phone. 

"How's my favourite pop star doing?" 

"Hi Louis, no need to yell." 

"I wasn't yelling babe, don't pretend you're not pleased to hear from me." 

"I am happy to hear from you, Lou" Niall grinned. "How's life back home?" 

"Don't tease me or I will start to hold it against you that you made it so much further than I did, Nialler." Niall laughed. "Just kidding, you know I'm proud of you." 

"That's why you're the best friend in the world." 

Niall and Louis had met on the X Factor, and instantly became best friends. Louis didn't make it through the live shows, and while Niall was placed fourth in the end, Louis never got jealous of him. Not even when Simon Cowell decided to sign Niall following his huge popularity and all the attention from the media he got. 

"Thanks for the flowers" Louis joked. "I'm not at home though, I'm with Haz in London." 

"Oh! We could all meet up then!" 

Harry was the third member of their little group, he came sixth on the X Factor, but unlike Niall he hadn't been signed by Syco, instead choosing to reunite with his band White Eskimo, who were now working on their album with a small indie label. 

"Miss us that much?" 

"You know I always miss you" Niall said, but he was kind of distracted by a victorious Zayn Malik showing off his tattooed body on his computer screen. He'd turned off the sound quite a while ago, he still didn't really like boxing, he only wanted to admire how nice Zayn's skin looked, tan and sweaty and inked all over his lean body. 

"What are you up to?" Louis asked curiously. "You seem distracted."  

"Oh not much" Niall tried to play it down. "It's just that I'm supposed to get a bodyguard and I'm looking him up on the internet." 

"A bodyguard, huh?" Louis repeated. "How important do you feel now?" 

"Honestly? It just feels weird. My own, personal bodyguard? It's crazy." 

"Kind of, but also pretty sick." Niall could hear the grin in Louis' voice. "You're famous, man. But how does that work, looking a bodyguard up on the internet? Is there like a dating website where rich people can find their bodyguards?" 

Niall laughed. "Nice idea, but no. Thing is, we've" he made sure to say 'we', knowing full well he'd never hear the end of it otherwise, "already chosen him, so I knew who to google." 

"You sound as if I'm going to know him too." 

"You might. It's Zayn Malik." 

"Zayn Malik? That does ring a bell...is he like a big thing in sports?" 

"He used to do boxing." 

"Used to..? Hold on, he's that boxer that like broke his arm and then disappeared, right? He's your bodyguard?" 

"Well not yet" Niall said. "They're still running background checks on him and stuff. But after that, he will be." 

Niall heard a gasp through the line. "Okay" Louis said. "Niall. I forgot what he looked like. He's  _smoking hot_! Who chose him again?" 

"I might have had a say in it?" 

"For god's sake, Niall! I really hate you for your fame right now."

"You can come visit, he's probably going to be around a lot" Niall suggested.

"Yeah and then I'll just stare at him creepily, sure. No, if I visit you, it's for you and not some beautiful boy toy you got."

"He's hardly a boy toy, Louis, he's like 5 years older than me and I'm probably gonna be something like his boss."

"Okay, yeah, boy toy might've been the wrong word...and you're right, workplace romances never work anyway."

"How many have you had so you can sound that sentimental? You're 18, Louis."

"Older than you."

"I know that, you twat."

"Anyway" Louis said. "I wouldn't condemn you if you wanted to...say, initiate further contact."

"Nicely put, Lou. And I'm not saying anything has to come from it, but a little flirting never killed nobody, right?"

"Would you complain if someone came from it, though?"

Niall spluttered and heard Harry's voice in the background yelling: "What sort of inappropriate stuff are you discussing again?"

"Inappropriate?" Louis screeched. "Me? You wound me, young Harold."

He'd always had a thing for dramatics, that one.

Harry let out a low chuckle and Niall could hear him sitting down on a sofa. "Alright, Niall?"

"Hi Haz" he smiled into the phone. "How's life treating you?"

"Can't complain, can't complain. I hear you're not so bad yourself. Releasing your first album in what, three weeks?"

"Four I think."

"Pretty big deal, huh?"

"Yeh, 'm excited. How's yours coming along?"

"Quite good actually! Why don't you come 'round this week? Haven't seen you in ages and it'll be the old gang back together, with Louis here and what not."

"I'd love to! Can't tomorrow though, got to interview my new bodyguard" Niall said, reading through the email Claire had sent him that stated exactly that.

"Bodyguard?" Harry asked. "Wait, is that who you were talking about?"

Niall sighed. "Yeh, let Louis show ya a picture. I'll probably have ta bring him 'round when I come anyway, they don't want me to go out on me own."

"Good news!" Louis yelled and Niall laughed.

"How about Thursday, then?"

-

When Niall woke up the next morning he briefly considered dressing up for the interview with Zayn, but quickly decided against it. That wasn't him, and Zayn would find out soon anyway. So he just put on his favourite pair of sweatpants and a soft jumper saying SKOOL SUCKS.

If he was being honest, he was quite excited about meeting this guy, and not only because he was incredibly hot. It wasn't about that at all for Niall. Sure, it was a plus if he'd have someone nice to look at, but mostly he'd chosen who he thought he'd be most comfortable spending all of his time with. And Zayn was only five years older than him, in contrast to the other applicants who were at least 30.

Niall's phone rang, the doorman telling him his driver was there. He still wasn't used to this, people making this kind of fuss over him. He'd grown up in a small house with his parents and his brother in Mullingar, Ireland, it had been fine but never anywhere close to luxurious. And now he was living in a nice two-bedroom-flat in London, with a doorman and someone to pick him up for meetings. He hadn't even released his album yet! Sometimes it still all felt unreal to Niall, like a dream.

When the car pulled up outside of Claire's office, there were no paparazzi around, for which Niall was immensely thankful. The public interest in him was something he could not get used to and he couldn't really say he liked it all that much. He was incredibly grateful for all the support he got, as it had gotten him to where he was now, living his dream, but he had his troubles with the crowds he'd attracted recently. He was slightly claustrophobic, and his fans were quite persistent. So really, if he was being completely honest, he didn't think a bodyguard was that bad of an idea.

"Is he here yet?" Niall asked as he kissed Claire's cheek in greeting.

"No, he's not supposed to arrive until eleven, so he has a couple of minutes left."

“Okay, good. What do I have to do, exactly? Don’t really know what’s expected from me here.”

“Leave the main work to me” Claire said, smiling reassuringly. “I’m going to make sure he’s fit as a bodyguard and you just have to figure out if you’re comfortable with spending your time with him.”

“Alright, I think I can do that” Niall grinned, taking a seat next to her behind her huge desk. “So he’s alright otherwise? You’ve done the background check?”

“We have, yes. He finished school while successfully pursuing a boxing career, so that’s pretty impressive. He’s also done some courses over the past few months, to qualify as a bodyguard. Being able to throw a punch isn’t all it takes, after all.”

Niall laughed. “Guess you’ve got a point there.”

“So how about you wait in the next room?” Claire suggested, gesturing to the door on one side of her office. “I want to talk about some basics with him before he gets to meet you.”

Niall knew that she was subtly excluding him from the business part of this, but he didn’t mind too much. He wasn’t that interested in how much his future bodyguard would earn or whatever they’d talk about.

“Sure” he said, closing the door behind him just as there was a knock on the main door. Zayn was there.

The room Niall was in now was small, furnished only with two armchairs, a small table and a bookshelf.

He could hear voices murmur from the other room, obviously Claire and Zayn, and briefly considered eavesdropping, but quickly decided that'd be immature and also very unnecessary. He'd meet the guy himself in a couple of minutes, so it wasn't like Niall was incredibly curious about him per se. He was curious about what Claire told Zayn about him though. He was pretty sure she would tell him something, so that Zayn knew what to expect. Would she say "16 year old, loud kid, all over the place"? Or would it be slightly more flattering? Or even less? He didn't want Zayn to run before they'd even met.

Niall sat in one of the armchairs, nervously biting his fingernails. So far he hadn't really considered the possibility of Zayn not taking the job, but what if he didn't like him? Once Niall had made his mind up about what he wanted, he very rarely changed his opinion again or was willing to compromise. And he'd made up his mind: if he had to have a bodyguard, it had to be Zayn Malik.

A good first impression was essential. How to impress a 21-year-old ex-boxer who was obviously and understandably very unhappy about how his life had changed in the past year?

Niall got up and started pacing nervously. What if he really looked that good in person? He didn't think he was that good at talking to fit blokes.

Go for casual, he told himself. You want to be an international pop star, nothing out of the ordinary here.

"Niall?" he heard Claire call from the other room and then the door opened, revealing her smiling face. "Would you come join us?"

Niall nodded and followed her into her main office, his step faltering a bit when he spotted Zayn, because _damn_ , he was insanely hot.

"Niall, this is Zayn Malik" Claire introduced them when they reached the tan lad. "He's been quite impressive so far."

"Could've just come without your shirt to impress" Niall said and mentally face palmed right away. He had not really said that, right?

Zayn quirked an eyebrow. "Sorry?"

"Um, sorry, I...nevermind" Niall stammered, blushing profusely. "Nice to meet you."

"You too" Zayn said, shaking his hand (so what if Niall held on a little bit longer than necessary, his hands were unfairly soft for a boxer).

Claire ushered him to the chair next to hers and he distinctively heard her snicker into his ear, which he chose to ignore apart from sending her a glare.

"Okay, so I thought I'd let you two get together to find out if you'll be able to work with each other. Niall, Mr Malik is definitely qualified to work as your bodyguard, but we're letting you have the last word in this. If you get along, we'd be happy to welcome you on board, Mr Malik." Claire got up again. "I'm gonna leave you two alone now, so you can get to know each other a bit. I'll be back in a few minutes, but there are a few things I have to tend to."

With that, she left the room, leaving a much more flustered than usual Niall behind with this _god_.

"Um" he said, not as eloquently as intended.

"So" Zayn said. "You're Niall? I'm Zayn."

"Hi. I know."

Niall could feel Zayn's eyes on him, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "How old are you again?"

"'m sixteen."

"Hm." It was a noncommittal sound, just a hum of acknowledgement. "And you're a pop star."

"Well" Niall started, finally finding his voice again. "Not yet. I'd like to become one, but so far I haven't really done anything but sing on a talent show."

Zayn looked at him thoughtfully and nodded. Niall felt like he'd somehow said the right thing.

"Claire said you weren't all that excited to be getting a bodyguard."

"No, I..." Niall paused, trying to figure out how to explain himself. "It's just, when the idea first got thrown around, I felt like they were babying me, you know? Like it was a way of saying I wasn't able to take care of myself, was too _young_. I don't like being treated like a baby, so I rejected the idea right away. But then lately, I've been thinking about what crowds do to me. I don't know how much Claire told you, but I'm claustrophobic, and recently more and more people have come to see me...so I've been thinking that maybe someone helping me deal with that isn't such a bad idea after all."

Zayn looked at him for a long moment. Niall was starting to feel like he did that a lot, looking and being silent.

"You're not much of a talker, are you?"

"You're quite the talker yourself, I assume?" Zayn asked right back, making Niall chuckle.

"My friends always complain they can't shut me up once I've started talking."

"Somehow that is something I can picture perfectly."

"Well since we've talked about me now, can I ask you something?" Zayn raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Your application wasn't exactly the most motivated one. And the end of your boxing career doesn't look to be voluntary either - you don't have to answer this if it's too personal of course" he added quickly, seeing something flash in his eyes at the mention of boxing. "I was just wondering...why me? Why did you apply as bodyguard to some singing kid?"

"No it's okay" Zayn said quietly. "I just needed to feel like I was doing something with my life...and you were the first offer that came along after I'd completed my courses. Besides, I meant what I said in my application, that I can emphasize with you in this situation because I've gone through the same thing."

Admittedly, it stung a bit being picked simply for the reason of being the first offer, but then again Niall wasn’t really sure what he’d been expecting. So he simply said: “I think so too, it’s why I picked you.”

“Okay, cool. And you still think we could work with each other?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure” Niall said, feeling a bit insecure again. “Don’t you?”

“No, no, I think it’d be quite cool.”

“So you’re gonna take the job?”

“Sure, yeah, why not?” Zayn shrugged and Niall couldn’t quite hold in his excited grin.

“Great!” he smirked. “Bodyguard.”

-

Apparently things didn't take very long to sort out after that, because when Niall went to meet Harry and Louis at the studio, Zayn was waiting for him in the car.

"Hi!" Niall said surprised when he spotted the handsome lad.

"Hey, Niall."

"I didn't know we had already sorted everything out" Niall admitted, taking his seat next to Zayn.

"Yeah, I had a meeting with Claire yesterday, and she asked me if I was alright to accompany you today."

“Okay, cool. Dunno if it’ll be really necessary though, I’m only meeting a few friends after all.”

“Claire said there might be paparazzi in front of the studio” Zayn explained. “Besides, it’ll be better for us anyway if we start with small situation to figure out how we work together before being thrown into the real thing.”

"Yeh, okay, that's probably true" Niall said. "You're gonna meet the idiots I call my friends then."

"I can wait outside."

"No, don't be stupid. Besides, when I told them I was gonna have a bodyguard they were really excited to meet you."

"Well, I'm not really the social type" Zayn said, running his right hand through his hair.

"I've kind of noticed" Niall smirked. "You're one of those people who prefer to observe, right?"

"How quickly do you usually notice things about people? This is only the second time we meet."

"Well, I'm kinda observant myself, and you don't hide it very well." Niall lowered his voice to barely above a whisper. "I also might've looked you up."

"You what?" There was a silence before Zayn continued talking. "You looked me up? Seriously?"

"I was curious" Niall explained in a small voice.

"You could've just asked me."

Niall didn't say anything. No need to tell him that was before they'd met or that Zayn would've never told him all these things anyway.

"Great, now I feel like you've got an advantage over me."

"You could just look me up too" Niall offered. "Or I could just tell you everything."

"No thanks" Zayn said, sounding distant. "I don't need to know everything about you, I'm here to protect you, not to be your new best friend."

Niall was a bit taken aback. He wasn't used to people reacting so coldly towards him, he usually won everyone over with his boyish charm and carefree persona. He'd had a feeling Zayn would be a bit harder to crack, but he hadn't expected this straight out _refusal_ to open up.

"Fine" he said, trying to sound as distant as Zayn had. "Fine. Purely business then."

Zayn gave a curt nod and pulled out his phone to do _something_ , leaving Niall to stare out of the car window, sulking.

"So this is what we're gonna do" Zayn said when they were almost there. "I'm gonna get out of the car first, and then I'm gonna stay close by your side until we're inside."

"That's your plan?" Niall snorted.

"Well, yeah. There's really not much else we could do in a situation like this."

"Okay." Niall shrugged.

The car pulled to a stop and Niall looked out of the window to see if there was anyone there, and indeed, a few paps were waiting outside of the studio, together with a huddle of girls.

Zayn opened his door first, getting out while Niall waited obediently. When Zayn opened his door for him, the girls started shouting his name excitedly.

Niall smiled and waved at them, walking over to take pictures and sign autographs. It was all still a bit new to Niall, but this was a manageable amount of fans and Zayn didn't do anything but hover protectively behind him.

The paps took pictures and asked him a couple of questions, but it was all very civilised. They mainly revolved around his and Louis' and Harry's friendship and their respective albums, but they also asked him who Zayn was to him.

"He's my bodyguard" he replied a little puzzled, wondering if they had recognised Zayn. It seemed that way. The way they had asked the question confused him a little though. What was Zayn to him? What did they think he was? Of course, Zayn's jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket didn't immediately identify him as a bodyguard, but his protective demeanour should've made it pretty obvious.

They made their way inside, leaving the happy girls and bored paparazzi behind.

Within seconds Niall had two people clinging to him, his face pressed against what seemed to be Harry’s shoulder (would he ever stop growing?) while Louis pressed kiss over kiss to his face.

“Ew” Niall made and did his best to push them both away, wiping his face with his sleeve. “You know I love you both, but will you ever stop being overly affectionate?”

“Never” Louis said and Harry added: “We just missed you, Nialler.”

“Missed you too, you idiots” Niall said fondly. “Oh!” He turned to look at Zayn quickly. “This is my bodyguard, Zayn. Zayn, those are Harry and Louis.”

Zayn cracked a tight smile and gave them both a curt nod. “Hi.”

Niall thanked god for the fact that Harry and Louis actually had the common sense for once to keep their greeting civil. Somehow he didn’t think Zayn would welcome their enthusiastic way of reacting to new people.

“We need to meet up more often” Harry sighed and ruffled Niall’s hair. “I’ve missed your stupid face.”

“Still your old charming self, I see” Niall chuckled.

"This is Harold we're talking about after all" Louis grinned and poked one of Harry's dimples.

"Yeah, yeah, make fun of me all you want, you bloody tossers" Harry joked. "Niall, come on, say hi to the other boys."

Niall had met Harry's friends and bandmates a couple of times already and he'd liked them well enough, so he was looking forward to seeing them again.

"Hiya boys!" he called, entering the room the three musicians were sat in.

"Niall, hi" Nick gave back, smiling at him.

"Good to see you again, mate" Will waved.

Haydn got up and patted his shoulder in greeting. "Long time no see."

"Harry says the album's coming along fine?"

"It is" Will grinned. "We're recording our songs now."

"Have you written them all by yourself?"

"Will's quite the writer actually" Harry said from the door where he'd just entered. "He's written most of the music, and Louis turns out to be a big help with the lyrics."

"Louis?" Niall asked. "Our Lou?"

"Thanks for sounding so surprised, Niall" Louis called from behind Harry. "It's nice to know you think of me so highly."

"It's just that I never knew you wrote songs" Niall defended himself.

"Well neither did I, until I tried for the first time and it turned out decent."

"Don't be so modest" Haydn laughed. "You're brilliant."

"Shh" Nick made. "Don't blow his ego up any more, Haydn!"

"What are you implying, Nicholas?" Louis huffed. "I do not know what you're talking about."

The whole room erupted in laughter and Louis huffed again, plopping down on one of the sofas.

"You're all wankers."

-

They spent the day at the studio, catching up and listening to the already recorded songs. They were all kind of indie rock, different from Niall's singer-songwriter style, but he thought it was great. Zayn was mostly quiet, keeping out of their conversations and shenanigans, but Niall caught him tapping his feet to the beat of the song.

Later in the afternoon, Harry, Louis and Niall left the studio with Zayn awkwardly trailing behind. There was no one outside waiting anymore and they were mostly left alone at the cafe they went to, none of them famous enough to be recognised everywhere.

"We should've gone to the pub" Louis groaned, sipping on his coffee. "This is so girly."

"Stop complaining, Lou" Harry said, teasingly patting Louis' cheek. "You're probably the girliest of all of us."

"No, that's you Haz" Niall laughed. "No offense, but you're the epitome of girly."

"Why me?" Harry whined. "Why not you, Niall?"

"I'm not girly, though. That's what's so great about our group, we're not stereotypical. If someone had to guess who’s the gay one out of the three of us, literally no one would pick me. Louis is the gayest straight guy I’ve ever seen." Niall saw Zayn throw him a surprised look when he mentioned his sexuality and worried for a second, but there was no hostility in his amber eyes.

"I have an open mind" Louis defended himself. "We don't have to act a certain way just because stereotypes tell us to."

"And gender stereotypes are the most stupid thing anyway" Zayn added, and they all turned to look at him surprised. It was the first time he'd spoken without being addressed directly. "What? I just don't think there are "boy things" and "girl things", I've met a few amazing female boxers who could easily keep up with a man, and they've all been told what they were doing wasn't "womanly" at some point. I'm not the typical boxing kind of guy either, but just because we might not seem like something on first glance doesn't mean we can't do it."

Niall looked at Zayn thoughtfully. This was the most he'd ever heard him talk, and it was intriguing. _Zayn_ was intriguing.

"You are so right" Harry exclaimed. "My mum says I can't be a musician and do my GCSEs at the same time, but I'm doing just fine."

"Well" Zayn said, "that wasn't exactly what I was talking about, but good for you."

It stayed the most thing Zayn said all afternoon, he only started talking on his own accord again when he and Niall were in the car on their way back to Niall's apartment.

"So...you're gay?" he asked without any introduction, stunning Niall so much he was only able to nod silently. "I don't want this to seem inappropriate, but do people know you're gay?"

"I've never denied it, but I haven't exactly said it either in front of anyone but my friends and family...why?" To say he was confused would be an understatement.

"It's just...I don't know if you know this about me too, but I came out to the public about two years ago. So I guess us being seen without an official statement telling people I'm your bodyguard might cause some rumours."

"Oh" Niall said, suddenly seeing the whole day in a different light. " _Oh_."

Zayn just looked at him, observant.

"I don't mind" Niall blurted out. "I mean, I don't mind there being rumours about me being gay, or even people knowing. But you're right, I should not let you be dragged into this, the rumours are about you too after all."

"Okay" Zayn said. "Just thought I'd best let you know so you don't freak out or anything."

"Thanks" Niall smiled, thinking how the day had turned out better than what he'd initially expected after their first car conversation.

-

It turned out that Zayn had been right, an openly gay ex-boxer and a maybe-possibly-probably gay rising pop star being out together did create rumours. There were pictures of them outside the studio, Zayn hovering protectively behind Niall (which literally everyone had picked up on - interpreting it as a protective boyfriend move), in the café with Louis and Harry, a picture taking from a small distance but plainly obvious that they were looking at each other, smiling, making Niall wonder how the hell that photographer had managed to capture the only time Zayn had smiled at him that day, and of them walking towards their car. Niall couldn't even remember that Zayn had put a hand on his lower back, it had to have been a very small touch, but there it was, on a photo that was everywhere he looked. People were spamming his twitter mentions with it and curious questions, making his head hurt.

Niall's phone started ringing and he groaned, picking up purely to make the noise stop.

"They think we intruded on a hot date" Louis' voice said, and Harry laughed in the background. "Sorry if we were."

"You know you weren't" Niall said, feeling tense for some reason. "He doesn't even like me as a friend, and definitely not like anything else."

"Do I hear hurt in your voice there, Mr Horan? Are you offended Zayn Malik doesn't like you?"

"No! No, Louis, shut up. It's not like that. It's just...I picked him as my bodyguard because I wanted someone I'd get along with, and I like him, I do, he's nice and clever and funny I think...I'm sure we'd get along so well, but he doesn't even want to give us a try. For some reason, he doesn't like me."

"Maybe you just need to give him some time" Harry suggested. "He'll warm up to you eventually."

"You sure?" Niall asked, and his voice sounded smaller than he could appreciate. He wasn't entirely certain why this was getting to him so much.

"I am" Harry assured him. "Just remember at the café, he came out of his shell for a second there. He'll do it again, you'll see, and suddenly you won't be able to see what the shell was anymore."

"Nicely put, Hazza" Louis piped in. "Nearly made me cry there."

"Shut up, Louis" Niall and Harry said simultaneously.

-

Later that day, Niall met up with Claire and a guy called Edmund who apparently was his publicist, to talk about what to do about the rumours.

Claire had wanted to simply release a statement, declaring Zayn was Niall's bodyguard, but Niall had asked her if he couldn't just come out at this opportunity.

Now he was sitting through a dreadfully boring meeting where Edmund droned on and on about target groups, markets and profits, brand profiles and more stuff Niall knew nothing about.

From what he did understand, Edmund didn't want him to come out because he thought less teenage girls would buy his album if they knew they didn't have a chance with him.

"But that's bullshit" Niall said. "From what I've seen on the internet and from the twitter mentions I've gotten, I think most teenage girls would actually like it if I was gay. They seem to have a thing for that."

Edmund stared at him for a few seconds as if he hadn't known Niall had a voice. "Well" he started, drawing the word out. "Even if the majority of these girls supported you – which I highly doubt, I might add –, the majority of their parents definitely won't. I'm sorry if you feel like that limits you in your freedom, but we've got to remember our primary interests are of monetary sort here, and parents might not want their daughters to buy your music."

Niall couldn't quite believe what he was being told. "To be completely honest with you" he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "I don't give a fuck about these people. And I don't give a fuck about your money. I want to make music because I love it, not to make you rich. And if someone doesn't want to buy my music just because I'm gay, I don't even want them to. I don't need assholes like that."

"Watch your language, Niall" Claire said, but Niall could've sworn he'd seen the corners of her mouth lift in a supressed smile.

"I would strongly advise against this" Edmund insisted, his face turning a light shade of red. "We invested a lot of money in you."

"This is still my life" Niall replied, willing to fight for this. He'd either do this the way he wanted or not at all. "I still get to make the decisions, and if you'll deny me that, I won't hesitate to walk out of here."

-

A couple of hours and countless phone calls and discussions later, Niall set up a small camera to record a video.

"Hey guys" he started when the red light started blinking, signalling it was recording. "So I realize there have been a few rumours about me going around lately. I still think it shouldn't be necessary for me to make this video, but I feel like I owe you an explanation. So I'm not gonna make a big deal of this, I'm just gonna tell the world that yes, I am in fact gay. And I hope you won't make a big deal of this either, because this is who I am and I will not change for anyone, and definitely not for fame. So if you choose to support me, thank you so much and I love you. If you decide you don't want to support a gay person, then I'll happily let you leave, I wouldn't want to call someone like that a fan." He took a deep breath, smiling a little.

“About the rumours surrounding me and Zayn Malik, no those aren't true. He's my bodyguard, but that's it. Zayn" he shouted, knowing Zayn was just next door. "Would you come in here for a second?"

Zayn entered the room, asking "What's going on?"

"I'm just making a video for my fans, would you mind telling them what kind of relationship we're in?"

"Sure" Zayn shrugged and came to stand behind Niall.

"Um, hi" he said a little awkwardly. "So I'm Niall's bodyguard...dunno why these rumours about us spread so quickly, to be honest. I can promise you there's nothing going on though. He's too young for me anyway." He chuckled a little while Niall pouted at him exaggeratedly.

"Gee, thanks. Now I'm basically being called a child in my own video."

"I'm not sorry" Zayn teased and left, but not before he patted Niall's head like a small child.

Niall sighed. "I have no idea what I did to deserve this. Anyway, I hope this answered your questions. Don't feel like I got a bodyguard because I don't like seeing you guys though! I love it, I wish I could talk to every single one to you. I owe everything to you, and I'm so, so thankful. As many of you know, though, I'm a bit claustrophobic. So I might need someone to help me if there are too many of you at the same time. I do appreciate you, and I don't want any of you to take this personally. I love you, you're the best fans in the world. Thanks for being so supportive!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? i love feedback :))


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you soo so much for the amazing feedback on chapter one, it means a lot!! i'm glad you seem to like it so far :)  
> i'm posting this a bit earlier than intended because i'm stressing with finals and wanted to get it out now. i'm done for the semester on monday, and i'm gonna upload chapter 3 then :) hope you like this!

Niall's video message received a huge response. To everyone's great relief, it was mainly a positive one, and even Edmund was thrilled, calling to tell Niall that the media coverage he was getting had made the number of his album preorders shoot up.

Niall was rushing from interview to interview, mainly radio and magazine ones, but also a few for TV.

Zayn was coming with him whenever he went out, because the amount of people waiting for him had at least doubled. That way, they spent a lot of time together in small spaces like cars, and Niall felt as if their talks finally got a bit more personal.

It looked as if Harry had been right, and Zayn had just needed some time to warm up to him.

All in all, his coming out had been a quite positive experience, it was relatively easy to ignore the hateful comments he got when his family, friends and most of the public were being so supportive.

It turned out that Zayn was great to have around for advice, him having gone through exactly the same thing only two years prior. Niall felt like he truly got him, like Zayn was the only one who fully understood what it felt like.

He also had to admit he was very thankful for having Zayn by his side when he went out. The older boy was really good at keeping people away from him, giving him space in a crowd, and he made Niall feel safe.

This was apparently noticeable for everyone, and Niall got a call from his mum who told him how glad she was he had found someone to keep him safe. Her gushing about how handsome Zayn was made Niall blush though, and the questions she kept asking made him wonder if she suspected something was going on between them.

“Mum” he interrupted. “Have you been listening to the gossip?”

“What gossip?” She sounded entirely too innocent and Niall chuckled.

“You have. There’s nothing going on between Zayn and me, we might be friends at this point, but that’s it. I didn’t even know he was gay when I hired him.”

“Alright” Maura sighed. “Just know that if something was to happen, you can tell me. I wouldn’t be put off by the age difference or anything.”

Niall blushed again and quickly changed the subject. He would _not_ think about Zayn that way.

Claire was another person who noticed how well they were getting along, and during one of their last meetings before Niall would start his promo tour for his album, she asked to talk to both of them.

“You know this is gonna be a small tour” she started. “You won’t have a big team travelling with you, Niall, apart from the stage managers and technicians just a driver, a stylist, someone from PR, and the security team. Zayn, you’re gonna meet with them after this meeting, but it’s only gonna be two guys apart from you. Any more necessary security for the shows is gonna be provided by the venues you’re playing at.”

“Alright” Zayn nodded and Niall kind of just sat there, a bit stunned at the prospect of all these people coming along just for him. He was just a kid with a guitar, after all.

“What I wanted to talk to you about is the sleeping arrangements. We’re gonna be booking the hotel rooms today, and I just wanted to give you heads up about this. You’re gonna be sharing. Not like the same room, but most likely a suite with two separate bedrooms. This is for legal purposes as well as for Niall’s comfort. We want someone you can trust close to you at all times, since this can all get a bit scary at times. You’re only 16, you might want someone within reach.”

“Um” Niall made. “Sure, if Zayn’s alright with that? I mean, I’d obviously be fine with you sleeping in a room across the corridor if you’re not comfortable with that.”

“No, no, it’s fine” Zayn assured him. “We’ll still have separate rooms after all.”

“Great!” Claire said, clapping her hands together once. “Now that that’s over with, I’m gonna take you to meet the security team, Zayn. Niall, you should be alright without Zayn for your way home.”

“Sure.” It was only a few steps from the car to his front door after all.

-

The evening before he left for his very first own tour, Niall had Harry and Louis over at his.

"You're a star, Niall!" Louis exclaimed sometime after his third beer.

"Not yet" Niall laughed. He'd wanted to stay sober so he'd be fit the next day, but his friends had brought beer and how could he - an Irishman - say no to that?

"Your single went to the top 10 and your album is gonna be released tomorrow, but it went to the top of the pre-orders charts. I think you could call that stardom" Harry drawled from where he was spread out on the rug in just his boxers. He tended to get undressed even more quickly when alcohol was involved.

"Cheers lads" Niall said, taking another sip of his beer to hide his blush. He wasn't quite used to this success yet.

"So you're really gonna be sharing a room with Zayn?" Louis picked up their conversation from earlier.

"Not a room" Niall explained. "More like a suite. We'll have separate bedrooms."

"What a shame" Louis mumbled.

"It'll be so much harder to climb into his bed at night like that" Harry chimed in.

"What the fuck are you on about?" Niall asked, feeling his face heat up again.

"He's hot, he's single, you're single...it'd only be natural" Louis smirked.

"I don't even know if he's single" Niall said. "Besides, he's my _bodyguard_."

"So what?" Harry asked. "Doesn't mean you can't like him."

"But I don't" Niall said. "Not like that, I mean."

"You sure you're not lying to yourself, Nialler?" Louis pressed. "You've been talking about him awfully much lately."

"I -" Niall started, shaking his head. "I don't know, okay? Either way, it doesn't matter cause he definitely doesn't see me like that."

"So you admit you've thought about it?"

"Well...yeah. He's attractive and all."

"Well" Louis said, still smirking. "You're gonna be travelling around the UK and Ireland for what? 6 weeks? More than enough time to seduce him."

-

It was a very good thing Zayn had a security key to Niall's flat, they discovered the next morning.

Niall woke up with a start and a pounding headache when someone pulled his duvet off him.

He groaned and buried his head in his pillow, trying to hide from the bright light shining through his closed eyelids. Whoever had taken his blanket wasn't having any of it though, grabbing his shoulders and forcefully making him sit up.

"You need to get up now" a voice that Niall didn't immediately recognise said. "Go take a shower and then come to the kitchen, I'll make you a hangover breakfast."

"Zayn?" Niall asked, his voice raspy, when he managed to open his eyes at least a few millimetres.

"Yeah" Zayn said, his voice not unkind. "Now hurry, you bloody idiot."

He pushed Niall towards the bathroom and the blonde stumbled there, hearing Zayn yell at someone else. Most likely Louis and Harry.

Niall groaned as the cold water hit him, scrambling to get it to warm up. At least he felt a bit more alive now. He groaned again when he realised that today was the first day of his promotion tour, he had a hangover and was presumably late. Which was why Zayn had showed up here, only to find him and his friends passed out after having too much to drink the night before. Great way to prove he wasn't a conceited little boy who thought he was a big deal.

Hurriedly, he got out of the shower and pulled on the first comfortable clothes he could find. This wasn't a morning for dressing up.

When Niall stumbled into the kitchen, his friends were already there, laughing at something Zayn had said.

They all turned to him, and Louis snorted.

"Seriously, Niall? The duck jumper?"

Niall blushed and looked down to see he was indeed wearing the dark green sweatshirt all of his friends knew and had affectionately dubbed "the duck jumper".

He shrugged sheepishly. "It's cosy."

"Sit" Zayn ordered and thrust a mug into his hands.

Niall stared at him when he placed a plate with breakfast on the table in front of him. "Aren't you...dunno, mad or something?"

"Oh, I'm plenty mad" Zayn said. "But these two idiots here explained the situation to me, and I kind of understand too. It's not like I've never played a drinking game that got out of hand. I'm just mad at you for even starting one, the evening before your first tour sets off."

Niall looked down at his table, ashamed. "It wasn't meant to happen like this, or at all."

"Yeah, your friends here already took all the blame."

"That's not fair either" Niall said, looking at Louis and Harry. "It's not like you forced me or anything."

"Okay, I get it, you're all stupid" Zayn interrupted, but there was a certain fondness in his voice. "Niall, I expect you to be ready to go in five minutes, alright? I'll be in the car."

Niall nodded and wolfed down the rest of his breakfast, while Zayn waved at his very sheepish friends and left.

"Oops" Louis said.

"Yeah, sorry about that" Harry added.

"Don't worry about it" Niall sighed. "As I said, it's not your fault."

When he got back from brushing his teeth, Harry and Louis were already waiting by the door.

"By the way" Louis started, a grin on his face. "You know I love the duck jumper, but it might not be the outfit for seducing someone like Zayn."

"Oh shut up" Niall groaned. "I'm not gonna seduce him."

"If you say so" Louis teased and dodged Niall's punch aimed at his arm.

-

"Think you're gonna miss them a lot?" Zayn asked when Niall got into the car after hugging his friends goodbye for a quite long time, not really willing to let go.

"Yeah" he shrugged, trying to sound less shaky than he felt. "But they're gonna come as often as they can, so it'll be alright."

Zayn patted his knee briefly. "You're probably gonna be too busy to miss anyone anyway. How about you try to sleep a bit more now? It'll be a bit of a drive and I'll wake up in time."

"Yeh" Niall smiled. "Thanks."

-

When Zayn woke Niall up, he did feel a lot better. His head had completely stopped throbbing and he felt almost well-rested.

"Everything good?" Zayn asked when Niall yawned and tried to stretch as good as possible in a car.

"Way better than this morning" Niall chuckled. "Thanks for the hangover treatment."

"You're welcome" Zayn smiled. "Just maybe...learn from it?"

"I think I already did" Niall said, fiddling with his fingers nervously, trying not to start biting his fingernails as he often did. "To be honest, when you found me this morning I was so embarrassed, I never want that to happen again."

"Embarrassed?" Zayn asked. "Why?"

"Well, you probably have this really bad image of me now, and I wouldn't blame you. I'm not actually a self-centred wannabe rock star though, I promise."

"I didn't think that, Niall" Zayn assured him. "I admit I expected you to be one before I met you last month, but you convinced me otherwise pretty quickly."

"Really?"

"Really" Zayn smiled. "But trust me, if you ever start to become one, I'll make sure to get you back down again faster than you can say 'rock star'."

Niall laughed. "Deal. Is this it?" He pointed at the building they were pulling up in front of.

"I think it is. Apparently everything you'll need has been brought here already, and the rest is at the hotel."

"Oh, great" Niall said as the car pulled to a stop. "To be honest, I don't think I've realised this is really happening yet."

"You'll realise when you're standing on front of all these screaming girls tonight."

Niall grinned and they got out of the car. "Right, I probably will. So what's the plan now?"

"I was told you'd be doing soundcheck now, get your outfit sorted out afterwards and then it'll be almost time for the show already."

"Alright then. When did they tell you all of this by the way? And why don't I know anything?"

"I got a call while you were sleeping in the car earlier."

"Did you tell them why exactly I was asleep?"

Zayn chuckled. "No, that's gonna stay between us, promised."

"Thanks" Niall smiled as they entered the building. Suddenly, he was starting to feel the nerves, and he said as much.

"You'll be great, don't worry" Zayn said, patting his back. "Do the soundcheck and you'll be much less nervous."

"Let's hope so" Niall muttered and then they were greeted by Claire, who had come along for the first show, and the sound engineer Matt.

Soundcheck did go pretty well, he didn't mess up any chords or lyrics, the mic worked, his guitar sounded great, the stage looked good, the lighting worked.

"See?" Zayn said as they walked towards Niall's dressing room. "That didn't go so bad, did it? The show is gonna be great too."

"Well I am a bit less nervous I think."

Zayn squeezed his shoulder with a smile and opened the door for him.

Inside was a young woman with light, purplish hair, a big smile on her face.

"Hi!" she said. "I'm Lou. So sorry we couldn't meet before, but I was told I'm not the only one you're only meeting today."

"You're not" Niall smiled. "Dunno why, but I'm meeting most of the tour crew for the first time today."

"Well, we've all met Zayn" Lou grinned, winking at the aforementioned. "He made sure we were good enough for you."

Niall laughed. "Good thing I trust his judgement, then."

"Alright" Zayn said, smiling. "I'll leave you to sort out the outfit stuff, I have to meet up with the rest of the security team."

He turned to Niall, stepping closer and lowering his voice so they were having a private conversation. "If I don't get to talk to you before it's time to go on stage, good luck, Niall. I know you'll do perfect, so stop worrying, yeah?"

He chucked Niall under the chin affectionately with a crooked finger and left the room. Niall blinked a few times to regain focus, wondering distantly when and why his heart had started beating so quickly.

Lou winked at him this time. "He's a handsome lad, isn't he?"

"Zayn?" Niall asked, confused as to how they got to talking about Zayn's looks. "Yeah, I guess so?"

Lou shook her head kind of fondly at him and Niall gave her a confused smile.

"Okay, darling" she said. "Why don't you just sit down in this chair and I'll show you what I was thinking for your look. I took your usual style into consideration of course, but we have to step it up a notch for your shows."

The time before the show passed much more quickly than Niall had thought, between getting styled and going outside to meet his fans, Niall only had half an hour left before he knew it.

He was sat in his dressing room, nervously biting his fingernails, when Zayn walked in.

"Hey" he said, plopping down next to Niall. "Didn't I tell you to stop worrying?"

Gently, he pried Niall's hand away from his mouth, dropping it into his lap.

"You've talked to your fans out there, you've seen how excited they are."

"Kinda makes it even worse" Niall mumbled, looking down at his hands. "Don't wanna disappoint them."

"Niall" Zayn said softly. "I've talked to a few of them myself, and to be honest, I don't think you'd disappoint them even if you just stood on stage and told your horrible jokes for an hour and a half."

"I don't tell horrible jokes!" Niall protested, looking at Zayn in mock offense.

Zayn just gave him a Look.

"Okay" Niall laughed. "Maybe Harry has gotten to me a bit."

"Not just a bit, I reckon" Zayn teased, and Niall punched him in the arm.

"Boxing a boxer?" Zayn asked, eyebrow raised. "You sure about that?"

"Is that a challenge?" Niall asked right back.

"No it's not" Lou said, walking in. "Don't you dare mess his hair or clothes up, Zayn. I won't let you bum any of my hair products ever again."

Niall "oohh"ed and Zayn glared at him playfully, but didn't make any move to touch him again.

Behind Lou, a guy who had been introduced to Niall as Marco from PR, had entered the room. He already seemed a lot nicer than Edmund and Niall was relieved he didn't have to put up with him on a daily basis.

"Hey" he waved, "Just coming to update you on your album sales." and Niall remembered that right, his album had come out today. He felt like pinching himself. Was this really his life?

"I'm not gonna bore you with the numbers right now" Marco continued, "so you should just know that it's doing pretty damn well. It's not on number one just yet, but who knows, it might be by the end of the week, when we have our post-album-release meeting."

"Number one?" Niall asked, dumbfounded, and Zayn patted his back while Lou grinned at him widely. Even the thought of any record of his making it to number one left him speechless.

The single he'd released two months prior had gotten to number five in the single charts and he'd actually started crying over that.

"Not yet" Marco reminded him. "It just might."

"That's already more than I could've hoped for" Niall said, swallowing thickly.

Zayn's hand on his back had gone from patting to rubbing and he found it oddly comforting.

"How do I already have these amazing fans when I haven't even done anything yet?" he wondered aloud, making the other three chuckle. "Should I tweet something? To thank them?"

"Whatever you want" Marco shrugged.

Lou handed him his phone from where it was lying next to her. "I think it'd be nice."

Niall composed a quick tweet _\- just heard my album is doing pretty well already, thanks so much !! I owe it all to u guys ! now its show time, exciting ! much love_ \- and pocketed his phone after sending it.

"Is it time to head on stage yet?" he asked. "I'm pumped now."

-

When it was finally time to go out on stage a few minutes later, Niall's heart was racing and he couldn't see anything but the bright lights at first.

He smiled brightly and waved into the audience that was nothing but a black, screaming mass for him, trying to ignore his nerves.

Niall started the show with a little speech on how this promo tour was his first own tour, not nearly as big as the X Factor tour of course, but he was still insanely thankful he got to do it. He thanked everyone who had helped getting him so far, who had come or bought the album, which led him to talking about that for a bit, too.

When he was done, he went to get his guitar, and apparently his eyes had gotten used to the lights a bit, since he could suddenly see the first couple of rows.

And there, right in front of the stage, were Harry and Louis. Niall's smile grew impossibly wide as he looked at them, and he couldn't help but give a quick wave.

In hindsight, he maybe should've expected it, since they'd only given him pretty shit excuses for not being able to come to his very first own show, but he'd kind of just accepted his two best friends had lives on their own. He couldn't believe Louis and especially Harry, who was the worst liar ever, had kept this a secret from him for so long.

The show went smoothly after that, Niall sang a few covers and a few of his own songs, and the couple hundred people in the audience sang along whenever they knew the words. It felt incredible.

Later, when Niall left the stage with a million waves and "thank you"s, he came backstage to find Zayn with Louis and Harry.

He let out a yell and ran to hug them both at the same time. Their little group hug probably lasted too long considering they'd only seen each other that morning, but Niall suddenly felt overwhelmingly emotional and had to bury his face in Harry's shoulder for a second.

When he pulled away, inconspicuously trying to wipe his eyes, he turned to Zayn.

"You were in on this?"

"They told me this morning" he grinned and took a step towards Niall to hug him briefly too. "You were amazing out there."

Niall blushed and felt the emotions well up again. He felt like all of this couldn't possibly be real.

"Thanks" he mumbled and felt Harry wrap his fingers around his wrist.

"We're really proud of you" he said, and Louis ruffled his hair affectionately.

Niall let out a wet chuckle and wiped his eyes again. "Will ya stop making me cry like a baby?"

"No" Louis said teasingly. "We're here for the night and you're gonna cry as much as you feel like."

"Are you staying?" Niall asked excitedly.

"Well, we figured your room would be big enough for us to squeeze in too" Harry grinned.

As it turned out, the room was definitely big enough for them. It was a two bedroom suite, one for Niall, one for Zayn, connected through a lounge equipped with sofas and a huge TV and everything they needed to make sure they wouldn't be bored for a single minute.

Niall was delighted when Zayn decided to stay with them, even though he said it was because "I wouldn't be able to sleep with you sods yelling about here anyway". The tone in which he said it made Niall think he would've stayed either way.

When he hugged his two best friends goodbye the next day, Niall cheekily asked: "So are you leaving for real this time or are you just telling me that and I'll see you in the front row again tonight?"

They both laughed.

"Unfortunately not" Harry shrugged.

"We'll be back as soon as possible though" Louis promised.

"You better" Niall grinned and sent them off with a hug and a kiss to their cheek each.

-

Over the next couple of shows, Niall could tell how time passed since his album had come out by the way people sang along more and more.

The crowds waiting for him in front of the venues became bigger from day to day, and he felt bad about not being able to see all of them.

Inside, it started with his fans singing along to the choruses of his songs, moving on to them knowing all the words, and within ten days, he could stop singing and make his audience finish some songs.

He'd never heard anything as beautiful as his own songs being sung back at him.

Outside, it meant growing crowds day by day, no matter if Niall went outside of the venues or to another interview with a local radio station or newspaper.

It all felt so great he couldn’t feel even the slightest bit disappointed when his album didn’t reach number one. It stayed number two for a whole week, and he couldn’t have been happier.

They moved slowly through England, stopping everywhere for one night, and Niall started to get used to sleeping in hotels.

He and Zayn had developed a kind of routine, especially needed for the bathroom they shared, so that they didn't have to fight who got to shower first.

All in all, Niall quite enjoyed sharing a suite with Zayn. He wasn't the most talkative person, he'd much rather sit next to him and read while Niall watched telly (whenever he asked what the older was reading, he got a sophisticated sounding answer he'd never heard of before), but sometimes he was willing to play FIFA with him, or watch a film. Niall had discovered that Zayn was good for cuddling when he got scared during a movie, he didn't laugh and he had really strong arms and smelled nice when Niall had to hide his face in his chest or neck.

"So do you think it'd change people's perception of you if they knew you're not only my bodyguard but also my cuddle buddy?" Niall asked when they got up off the sofa on the eleventh night of his promo tour.

"Do you think it'll change their perception of _you_ if they knew you cried during Monsters Inc. last night?" Zayn teased right back.

Niall gasped. "You wouldn't."

"I would" Zayn threatened darkly, but Niall could see the smirk tucked into the corner of his mouth. "Don't ruin my badboy image. I'm the broody, tattooed, boxer kind of guy, it's a brand."

Niall laughed. "You're not like that though. You might seem like it at first, but really you're a huge softie."

"I am?" Zayn asked, and he actually sounded a bit surprised.

"Yeah, come on. You let me cry into your shirt during Monsters Inc."

-

The next morning, Niall stumbled into his usual shower - Zayn went before him so he could fix his hair while Niall showered. Niall just left his down because Lou would do it later anyway - and when he came back out, Zayn was sat on the sofa, phone pressed against his ear.

When Niall looked over, Zayn was already staring at him, but he looked away quickly when Niall caught him.

Niall was pretty sure he saw him blush, and his heartbeat quickened. What had just happened? Granted, even though Niall walked from the bathroom to his bedroom clad just in a towel every day, this was the first time Zayn had seen him.

And why did he feel so ridiculously fluttery about it? Niall sighed and grabbed his clothes for the day from his suitcase.

He couldn't help thinking about Louis' and Harry's teasing and how he really wasn't that sure anymore he didn't like Zayn at least a bit that way. Who could blame him? The guy wasn't only unfairly attractive, he was also terribly nice and caring. And a great cuddler.

Niall sighed again. Well shit.

When he left his room – fully dressed now – to walk with Zayn to where they were having breakfast with the crew, the young man was still on his phone.

"No, Liam, I'm not gonna -" he looked up and saw Niall standing in his door, looking at him. "Listen, he's here now. Yeah, yeah. No...mhm."

Niall felt weird for listening in on Zayn's call, but then again it didn't make any sense to him anyway.

"Yes. Okay, will do. Love you too, Li."

"Sorry about that" Zayn said to Niall, getting up and pocketing his phone. "We can go now."

Niall nodded, trying not to dwell on how much the strange tightness in his chest felt like jealousy. It wasn't as if he'd ever had a chance with someone like Zayn anyway.

"So" he asked when they walked down the hallway together, as casual as possible. "Was that your boyfriend?"

"Who?" Zayn asked, and then laughed. "Oh, Liam? No, he's just my best friend."

Niall absolutely didn't know what to say without sounding too relieved, so he settled on "Oh, okay".

Zayn gave him a funny look but didn't say anything else, and Niall thought about how he'd definitely looked when he saw him shirtless. Maybe even checked him out.

Then he thought about Louis telling him to seduce Zayn, and he mentally shrugged.

It might have been simply the natural reflex to look when that much skin was presented, or it might have been more.

And Niall didn't have to seduce anyone right away, at least not before he had figured his own feelings out, but it couldn't hurt if he...tested the waters a bit, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo...? :)  
> [come say hi on tumblr :)](http://www.kissingziall.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter i'm posting earlier than i said, yay! tomorrow is my last exam and i thought i'd post this afterwards, but i might be going out with my friends to celebrate straight away, so i figured i'd better get this up today :)  
> this is the first chapter written from zayn's pov and there's gonna be a few of them until i switch back to niall around chapter 7. i hope you like his side of things as much as niall's :)

Zayn collapsed onto his bed face first, groaning. 

He wasn't sure why he'd thought applying for a job as a bodyguard had been a good idea. 

He hadn't done it for himself really, he'd done it because he'd wanted Liam to stop worrying about him, wanted to stop seeing his mum look so sad every time she came to his flat and saw he didn't do anything but mope on his sofa all day long. 

He'd expected Niall to be a brat, and had been pleasantly surprised to find out that he wasn't, but he was still a 21 year old guy babysitting a 16 year old. 

At least sometimes it felt that way to him.  

Zayn groaned again, biting his pillow. 

He was lying to himself, he knew it. 

His plan had been to keep Niall at arm’s length, be his bodyguard and nothing else, but. The boy had grown on him, with his easy smile and sunshine laugh, his mindless chatter and his warm hugs. This whole thing was neither babysitting nor a job anymore, really.

Niall had cracked Zayn's shell of moodiness and angst - the one he'd spent so much time perfecting over the past year - so quickly that he was mad at himself. 

Niall had called him a _softie_. 

Zayn was confused. 

When he woke up, still lying in the same position, and still feeling just as confused, he decided it was time to enlist his best friend’s help. 

So he took his usual morning shower and went back to his room to fix his hair. He chose Liam's name from his contacts and put his phone on speaker next to him. 

"Good morning, Mr bodyguard" Liam answered. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" 

"You say that as if I never call you" Zayn complained. 

"So you're saying you don't have a reason to call?" 

Zayn's silence said it all and Liam chuckled. "Dunno why you still doubt me, I know you, Zayn. Alright then, spill." 

"It's probably stupid..." Zayn started, and then told himself to get a grip. "It's about Niall." 

"Oh.”

“What?” Zayn asked, because Liam’s tone seemed off somehow.

“Nothing. Go on” Liam urged, and Zayn shrugged, reaching for the hairspray. 

“Well…he called me a softie yesterday.”

There was a short silence and then Liam laughed uproariously. “ _That’s_ why you’re calling me? Because Niall has you figured out?”

“I’m not…” Zayn sighed, interrupting himself. Liam was right, he knew him, and there was no point in denying the fact he wasn’t as rough as he tried to come off as. “But no, I don’t know…I didn’t take this job for anything else but a job, you know? Something to do with my life, since I can’t…yeah. But Niall – it’s hard to describe, but he’s so _open_ , I kind of couldn’t help but giving stuff about myself away too. And I never wanted that. I feel like I’ve opened up to him too quickly.”

Liam sighed. “Zayn…I know this past year has been rough for you, and you’ve kind of shut everyone out. So I guess it’s natural you’re a bit freaked out now. But don’t you think this is exactly what you need? Someone you care about, someone who brings you out of your shell?”

“D’you think so?”

“Don’t you? You’ve been miserable for long enough, Zayn, it’s time to find your way back into a normal life, with normal human interaction.”

Zayn didn’t say anything while he finished his hair, mulling over everything Liam had said.

The only sound heard over the phone was an electric humming and Liam’s rhythmic steps. He was probably running on his treadmill again, and Zayn almost laughed at the fact that he hadn’t even been able to tell from his voice. The guy was seriously working out too much.

“I guess you have a point” he said eventually, picking up his phone and walking into the lounge area with it, turning off speakerphone.

“Took you awfully long to come to that conclusion” Liam said, and he had that concerned voice again, the one that Zayn had gotten entirely too familiar with over the past few years. “Look, you really need to stop blaming yourself for all of that. I know it’s hard, but you had a great time and it came to an end. It just wasn’t meant to be.”

“I know, Liam” Zayn said quietly. Only a couple of months ago, he’d have started yelling at these words, but he’d finally started accepting his fate. It was what had given him the strength to apply for the spot as Niall’s bodyguard in the first place. “It was just an unlucky break, and no one is to blame for it.”

“I’m really happy you’ve at least gotten to this point” Liam smiled – Zayn could tell from his voice he was smiling – and continued: “Anyway, I think Niall is good for you.”

"Yeah, I guess he makes me smile a lot more than I used to."

Liam "aww"ed and usually, Zayn would've called him out on it, but Niall left the bathroom that exact moment and Zayn's attention suddenly wasn't on his phone call anymore.

Niall wasn't wearing anything but a towel around his narrow hips, showing off much more skin than Zayn had ever seen of him.

He was a scrawny kid, skinny from head to toe, and obviously hadn't finished his growth spurt yet.

But his skin was pale, pearly white and Zayn couldn't help but stare at the freckles that littered his back and shoulders.

His eyes snapped up to Niall's face just in time to see him looking back, and he quickly turned away, blushing.

Which was obviously the stupidest thing to do, because Niall would _know_ he'd stared at him like a creeper now. He should've just wished him a good morning and pretended he hadn't even noticed Niall's state of undress.

He wasn't supposed to look at the boy in any way, he was his client, and in a way maybe even his boss, but most importantly a kid.

Zayn sighed deeply. He needed to get laid as soon as possible.

When Liam's voice suddenly got through to him again, Zayn nearly jumped.

"Zayn?!" Liam yelled. "What's going on there?? For a few minutes you're all silent and then all I get is a couple of sighs!"

"Uh, sorry Liam" Zayn said. "I got...distracted."

“I could tell that much” Liam chuckled. “What happened?”

“Nothing” Zayn lied quickly. He didn’t feel like Liam telling him exactly the things he’d already told himself. “Just…looking out the window.”

“Sure” Liam said, sounding anything but convinced. “Anyway, you shouldn’t fight becoming closer to Niall. Just let it happen. Who knows, he might replace me as your best friend.”

Zayn chuckled. “No one could ever. No, Liam, I'm not gonna -" there was a rustle and he looked up to find Niall standing in his door, ready to go. "Listen, he's here now.”

“Oh, okay, enjoy your breakfast. And remember, don’t fight it, okay? Call me again soon.”

“Okay, will do.”

“Love you, Zayn.”

“Love you too, Li.”

Zayn hung up and stood to face Niall. “Sorry about that, we can go now.”

Niall smiled a little oddly, but followed him out of the room anyway.

When Niall asked him if Liam was his boyfriend, Zayn was confused at first, but not really surprised.

They'd gotten that question a lot all throughout the time of their friendship, especially after Zayn came out, since they'd always been rather affectionate with each other.

In this case, Zayn thought that it could only have been his "love you" that had given Niall the impression.

Niall gave a strangely uninterested sounding "okay" after Zayn explained that Liam was his best friend, and Zayn couldn't help but feel like there was something he was missing here.

He shook his head at himself. What a weird day this already was.

By the evening, Zayn had forgotten all about the morning, his confusion had gotten lost somewhere between their travelling and Niall's show.

When they settled down afterwards to watch a movie however, Niall suddenly slid over on the couch to cuddle against him without a noticeable reason for it on the screen.

Zayn looked down at him, visibly confused.

"What?" Niall asked, blinking innocently. "I'm tired and you're warm and cuddly."

"When did you turn into a kitten?"

"Meow" Niall made, and Zayn laughed, lifting his arm so Niall could fit under it.

It quickly became a routine for them, cuddling on the sofa while watching whatever film they could agree on.

"Grease?" Zayn asked incredulously when Niall presented him his choice of the day. "Are you serious?"

"I think Harry might've had an influence on my taste of films too" Niall admitted, grinning a little sheepishly.

"Maybe you should stop hanging out with him so much if he tells you bad jokes and makes you watch bad movies" Zayn teased.

"Well" Niall said, "that's what I have you for now. But Grease is actually a really good film."

"Alright, alright" Zayn surrendered, laughing. "We can watch it if you want. But only if you promise to watch The Avengers with me tomorrow night."

"Deal" Niall cheered and went to start the movie.

"I once played Danny Zuko in a school production" Zayn heard himself say. His initial reaction was shock towards his own openness, but then he heard Liam's voice telling him to let Niall in and he calmed down again.

"What?" Niall asked, turning around with wide eyes. "Seriously?"

"Yeah" Zayn shrugged. "Don't judge me, I was 13."

"I'm not judging you" Niall said, and he looked kind of endeared. "That's so cool! Louis played Danny too once, shortly before the X Factor actually."

Zayn laughed. "Speaking of Louis, are they coming to another show again soon?"

"Not until Manchester" Niall explained. "But don't try to change the topic. I didn't know you could sing and act!"

Zayn shrugged again. "I'm alright I guess."

"You should sing something for me once."

Zayn shook his head. "As if I'm gonna sing something in front of a successful pop star."

"But it's just me! Please, Zaynie" Niall begged, pouting and giving Zayn, who was a little stunned by the nickname, puppy eyes.

Zayn sighed, closing his eyes briefly. It was really hard saying no to that face.

"Alright, I'll do it sometime."

Niall dived onto the sofa next to him, a big smile on his face. "Thanks! I won't forget about it."

Zayn laughed and rolled his eyes fondly. "I know you won't. And now start the bloody film already."

It didn't take more than a few minutes to get apparent that Niall had seen the film many times before.

He didn't only sing along to the songs, he also knew quite a few of the lines by heart.

Zayn kept looking down at the boy snuggled into his side, smiling whenever he mumbled along. It was really cute.

By the time Sandy decided it was time for a makeover, Zayn had gotten to the point of endearment where he thought he really shouldn't be shy and just go for it.

So when Danny started "You're the One that I Want", he launched straight into the song with him.

" _I got chills, they're multiplyin'_

_And I'm losing control_ "

Niall had turned his whole body towards him, obviously too stunned to sing along, but he laughed when Zayn even sang "it's electrifying" correctly, with the small high note in between.

He started Sandy's part enthusiastically, and Zayn let him, only joining in when it was Danny's turn again.

To his own surprise, Zayn still knew every part of the song, and Niall didn't have any trouble singing the female part, so they belted it out in unison.

They sang through the whole song in perfect harmony, Zayn even let himself be pulled to his feet by Niall to do the famous forward-backward-shimmy with him.

To humour Niall (and maybe because it was a tiny bit of fun too), Zayn twirled him around afterwards, and they continued to dance around the lounge.

When Danny and Sandy got into their car and flew off into the sun - something Zayn had never understood about the film - both boys plopped down onto the sofa, breathing hard.

"That was fun" Niall panted. "Thank you."

"I had fun too" Zayn smiled and he didn't even have to try hard to admit it. “And I gotta say, I wouldn’t have expected it, and I probably wouldn’t have tried.”

 “The perks of being my friend” Niall chuckled and Zayn grinned back, thinking how nice it felt to have Niall see him as a friend. He'd have to remember to thank Liam for getting him to this point.

-

The next morning, Zayn woke Niall up at ten o'clock by pulling off his duvet like he had the first day of the tour.

"Uh?" Niall made, blinking up into Zayn's face, still mostly asleep.

"Good morning! I'm getting into the shower now" Zayn explained, "and by the time I get out you're gonna have to be awake enough to take one yourself."

"...why?" Niall mumbled half into his pillow.

"We're going sightseeing, sleepyhead! It's not every day you get to travel all across the UK. Or have you ever been to Edinburgh before?"

"No" Niall groaned. "No, I haven't. Alright, I'm getting up, go take your shower ya madman."

Zayn laughed and slapped Niall's bum walking out, immediately shaking his head at himself.

"What'd you do that for?" Niall yelled and Zayn pretended he hadn't heard him as he entered the bathroom. Truth was, he had no idea why he'd done it. Sometimes he felt as if being around Niall had completely transformed him to the point where he didn't even recognise himself anymore.

Then again, maybe he was just helping him find himself again.

When Niall came back from his shower, he looked more alive than before but still shook his head at Zayn. "What's wrong with you? We went to bed at like 2am last night and usually you're not exactly a morning person yourself, so what the bloody hell is going on?"

"Dunno" Zayn shrugged, grinning at him. "Just woke up in the best mood ever. You up for breakfast?"

"Please" Niall said, finally seeming to cheer up a little. "For food, I'd get up even earlier if I had to."

"It's almost eleven, Niall" Zayn chuckled. "And you only get an hour for breakfast, I wanna be out of here by noon. Gotta use that day off."

"What are we waiting for then?" Niall asked excitedly, heading for the door. "I need time for my first proper meal of the day."

-

"So what exactly is there to see in Edinburgh?" Niall asked in between bites. "I thought everything was just really old?"

"Well...it kind of is. There are lots of castles and churches and stuff like that, tons of museums too."

"What about exciting stuff?"

"Don't you think those are exciting?"

"Uh...not really" Niall admitted. "Do you like museums?"

"I'm actually really into art" Zayn explained. "So yeah, I do."

"I guess we could go into one then."

"And what do you think about the Edinburgh Dungeon for the exciting bit?"

"Oh, is that like the London Dungeon?" Zayn nodded. "I went there and it was really cool, so I reckon this one's gonna be fun too."

"Enough compensation for a museum and old buildings?"

"Yeah, yeah" Niall shrugged, a grin on his face. " _If_ you take me for lunch."

"I'll even add dinner to the deal" Zayn laughed, and Niall's smile looked like it would split his face in half any second.

-

They went to the museum first, because there was a restaurant attached to it that Zayn thought they might just as well try out for lunch. Before they got to that though, their time was spent with Niall following Zayn around and listening only halfway interested to what Zayn told him about the paintings and their painters. 

"How do you know all of that?" he asked eventually, sounding incredulous after another lengthy monologue from Zayn.

"Dunno, I've just always been really interested in art" Zayn shrugged. "And I've always enjoyed painting myself."

"Really? You any good?"

"Not as good as many others in my family" Zayn said, "but I reckon I'm alright."

"You're just being modest, I bet you're amazing." The blonde hesitated for a moment. "Will you ever show me something?"

"If you keep listening to me this nicely, I might."

Niall grinned. "Alright, where to next, then?"

-

Walking through the city proved to be no big problem. They - or Niall, mostly - were only recognised a couple of times, and all the girls asked for a picture and an autograph nicely. No one made a big fuss, and they were always left alone quickly.

One fan addressed Zayn by his name too, and surprised him thoroughly with that.

"Can I get a picture with both of you?" she asked, and Zayn stared at her perplexed.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't be so surprised!" she laughed. "How could I pass up this opportunity? I love the relationship the two of you have, and I'd love to have a picture with both of you."

"Uh, sure" Zayn said and smiled for the photo, even though he was still confused. What could anyone know about what sort of relationship he and Niall had?

Later, they understood what she had been talking about when Niall saw the picture on twitter, tweeted by an account called @niallmalik. "can't believe i met @NiallOfficial and @zaynmalik today!! think i might've been intruding on a date tho ;)"

Both of them just laughed at the implications.

Zayn thought it was odd that there apparently were people, fans even, who believed he and Niall were more than just friends, even after Niall had made that video over a month ago.

Niall just thought it was hilarious.

He generally seemed to think a lot of things were hilarious, finding something exciting in everything they saw. Zayn had to admit he quite liked his enthusiasm.

"Can we have a picture of the two of us taken?" Niall asked after Zayn had taken a picture of him making silly faces next to a statue. "I'm tired of being alone on all of these pictures. Let's do it there, in front of that bridge, alright? I'll ask that lady to take a photo."

Without giving Zayn a chance to protest, he was off to stop a woman, almost shoving his phone into her hands.

Zayn sighed and shook his head fondly, but moved into a position he deemed alright for a picture nonetheless.

Niall skipped back to him - he literally skipped -, but instead of standing next to Zayn, he suddenly jumped onto his back as if going for a piggyback ride.

Zayn caught the back of his thighs by instinct, and once the initial shock left him, he just had to laugh at the boys' antics.

When the lady handed Niall his phone back, there was an amazing picture on it.

The background they'd chosen wasn't even really visible, but Zayn looked blissfully happy, a wide grin on his face, eyes crinkled with it, and Niall on his back was laughing just as much, chin resting on top of Zayn's head and one arm wrapped loosely around him.

"We look really happy" Zayn said, and he could hear how astonished he sounded.

"Well I dunno about you, but I am pretty happy right now" Niall shrugged with a smile.

Zayn smiled back and slung one arm around the smaller boy, ruffling his hair with the other.

"So am I."

They decided to forego the Dungeon in favour of grabbing dinner earlier than planned, mainly because Niall kept moaning about being hungry.

They went to an Italian restaurant to have pizza, because Niall insisted pizza beat everything, despite the fact he'd only had it a few nights ago.

"I'm not gonna eat the exact same one, so of course it's different" he explained. "Really, Zayn, I feel like you don't appreciate food the right way. There's a lot you can learn from me."

"Teach me your ways, Master Horan" Zayn joked and was rewarded with a loud laugh. "Is it alright if I order pasta anyway?"

Niall sighed deeply. "If you don't wanna learn..."

Zayn chuckled and ordered his fettuccine.

"You kind of owe me dessert after that disaster" Niall mumbled around his last slice of pizza.

"Dunno about yours, but my food was far from a disaster" Zayn teased and Niall kicked him under the table.

"Dessert?" he repeated, cocking an eyebrow.

"Alright, alright, you're a bottomless pit and I cannot believe I'm supporting you with it."

"You're the best!" Niall exclaimed, smacking a kiss to his cheek when he got up, too impatient to wait for the waiter.

Zayn tried to hide how flustered he suddenly felt by checking his phone, only realising then that Niall had tweeted the picture of them with the caption " _havin a laugh in edinburgh ,sightseeing with @zaynmalik_ ". His twitter mentions were full of excited and endeared fans, and he found himself smiling at the picture again. It looked really nice.

"@zaynmalik _: @NiallOfficial speak for yourself - i never said i had fun with someone who'll eat everything i own :D x_ "

"@NiallOfficial: _@zaynmalik ill make sure t eat your phone next ,and than your hair products_ "

"@zaynmalik: _@NiallOfficial you wouldn't!!!!!!"_

"Never thought I'd be one of these people who had a twitter conversation with someone who's in the same room" Niall laughed, sitting down opposite Zayn again.

"I just took the chance, I didn't even notice you tweeted that picture before."

"Was that alright? I didn't even ask." Niall sounded worried, and Zayn smiled at him reassuringly.

"Of course, I don't mind. Just thought I'd give all of those excited fans some more to be excited about."

Niall smirked. "I like the way you think, Malik."

Later, when they were sitting on the sofa in their suite, Zayn looked at Niall thoughtfully.

"I had a really good time today. Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?" Niall asked, puzzled. "Literally all I did was follow you around, you planned it all. I should be thanking you."

"Maybe, but you just said it yourself: you did follow me around. You did all the stuff I wanted to do, even if it wasn't really your thing."

"You bought me lunch and dinner for it."

They both chuckled, but then Zayn shook his head, wanting to get his point across.

"No, but what I'm really trying to say, very badly obviously, is how glad I am you're willing to be my friend. I haven't had many friends since my boxing career ended, so it means a lot."

"What do you mean, you haven't had a lot of friends?" Niall asked, and the concern in his voice was genuine.

"Well..." Zayn tried to explain, "I kind of shut everyone out for about a year, and I scared everyone away who hadn't already left anyway as soon as it was obvious I wasn't gonna keep bringing money in. So in the end, Liam was kind of the only one who stayed. But since I started working for you, I've met so many amazing people, and I've made more friends in a couple of weeks than I did over the past years."

“Zayn…” Niall’s hand was suddenly on Zayn’s arm, comforting. “That’s so sad. I’m sorry.”

Zayn pulled his arm away. He didn't want pity.

"No, wait" Niall said quickly. "I don't mean this like...I just meant how sad it is that people really only care about money, and that you had to experience that. I get that you don't want to be pitied."

Zayn looked at Niall for a minute. "You really are quite perceptive, aren't you?"

Niall grinned. "Told you I'm good at reading people."

"Let's not talk about it again though, alright? It's a time I'd rather forget, and I'm having much more fun right now anyway."

"It's just because you get to travel around for free" Niall teased.

"Maybe" Zayn smirked. "Just wait till you tour all of Europe."

"Let's not go overboard with these fantasies just yet" Niall laughed. "But just for the record: you're the best travel buddy I could wish for."

Zayn smiled and let him snuggle into his side.

-

The next morning, Zayn woke up to the insistent buzzing of his phone on his bedside table.

Disoriented, he picked it up and saw it was an incoming call. The name "Liam" kept flashing across the screen, and for a second he thought about declining the call, but knowing Liam he'd just keep calling.

"You woke me up" he said instead of a greeting.

"Sorry about that" Liam replied, sounding not very sorry and far too awake. "I just thought that you and Niall should check the headlines today before you leave the hotel."

Zayn groaned. "What's it this time? Is this because we were sightseeing yesterday?"

"Oh, that's what you did? I couldn't tell from the pictures."

"What are you saying?" Zayn sat up and rubbed his eyes, finally fully awake now.

"Look for yourself, but let me tell you, the media knows how to make photos look like whatever they want."

"Okay, thanks Liam" Zayn said. "I have a feeling I know what's expecting me."

"Yeah...just maybe not on that scale."

"Right. I'll better go wake up Niall then, I guess?"

"Have fun" Liam chuckled.

"You've kind of made me dread this."

"Nah, it's not so bad. Unless you'll get sick of all the questions."

"I'll let you know about that when we get there" Zayn promised. "Bye, Liam. Thanks for telling me."

"That's my job."

Zayn smiled and hung up, pushing his blanket off his body to get up.

He knocked on Niall’s door to wake him up.

“Niall?” he asked. “Ni? You awake?”

“Well now I am” was the grumpy answer he got. “What’s wrong? I didn’t know we were leaving this early.”

“We aren’t” Zayn said through the door, starting to feel a bit foolish. But it’d look stupid if he opened the door this late into their conversation. “But apparently we made the headlines again, and I’d like to look at them with you before breakfast.”

“Headlines?” The door was suddenly being opened and Niall blinked up at him with bleary eyes, his hair still messed up. He was only wearing boxers and had the lines of his pillow imprinted on his left cheek. He looked adorable.

"Yeah, I'm not really sure either, but I do have a few guesses. You wanna find out?"

"Sure, let's do this. Lemme just - put on a shirt or something."

Zayn laughed. "Alright, I'll start the computer."

He sat down in the lounge with his laptop, opening Google and wondering what to search for.

_niall horan_ he typed, and then added _and zayn malik_ after a second.

Niall sat down next to him, having added a white t-shirt to his outfit.

"What have we got here, then?" he asked, pointing at the first article.

**Niall Horan and bodyguard Zayn Malik - business relationship or budding romance?**

Zayn clicked on it.

**The name Niall Horan is one all of us have connected with a certain topic recently – homosexuality. Only six weeks ago, the 16-year-old X Factor contestant who’s just released his first album, came out as gay to the public through a video uploaded to the popular platform YouTube.**

**In the same video, he addressed the rumours about his and his – also gay, former boxer – bodyguard Zayn Malik’s relationship for the first time. Both young men denied a romantic relationship between them, Malik (21) mentioning their age difference.**

**Yesterday, new pictures of the two of them have sparked the rumours to spread again, and we might have to revisit the topic.**

**The pictures were taken in Edinburgh, where the most recent show of Horan’s promotion tour took place.**

Following was a gallery of pictures, most of them taken from a distance or with phones, obviously by people who had recognised them. Zayn clicked through all of them, neither him nor Niall saying a single word. There was one from the museum, Niall leaning his head on Zayn’s shoulder. One from lunch, both of them laughing about something. Zayn taking pictures of Niall. Them having their picture taken, and them looking at Niall’s phone, heads close together. Zayn wrapping his arm around Niall, both laughing. Niall kissing Zayn’s cheek at the restaurant.

Under the gallery, the article continued.

**Don’t they look cosy? We think they do! Niall even tweeted a picture of the two lovebirds looking awfully happy and familiar with each other, captioned “ _havin a laugh in edinburgh ,sightseeing with @zaynmalik”_ , followed by a very flirty exchange of tweets.**

Zayn looked over their screenshotted tweets and couldn’t see anything he’d classify as flirty, but read on anyway.

**Fans have been excitedly tweeting about it all day, one fan even wondering if she’d intruded on a date when she met them earlier. Looking at the pictures, we can only assume she was right.**

**What do you think? Are they or aren’t they? Share your opinion in the comments below!**

Niall broke the silence first, letting out a giggle.

"Well at least they're inventive" Zayn said, joining in.

"We do look like we're on a date if you only look at those pictures" Niall said. "They know exactly what to show and what to leave out."

"Well, it's their job I guess. And we kind of helped them with those tweets, I’m not gonna lie, it was my intention to tease them a bit."

"Don't you think it'd be funny though?" Niall asked, not looking directly at Zayn. He looked a bit nervous, nibbling on his lower lip and fiddling with his fingers. Zayn guessed he was trying not to bite his fingernails again. "Making them think we were, you know, dating? I mean we'd obviously keep denying it, cause we aren't, but we could keep tweeting each other and being ourselves and everything."

"I assume with "being ourselves" you mean being overly affectionate?"

"If you think that's what we're like, then yes."

Zayn grinned. "It _is_ rather funny seeing them freak out like this."

"So you're in?"

“Just…what for?” Zayn asked.

“Fun” Niall shrugged. “I dunno, I’ve always liked pranking people, and this is like, a prank on a higher scale than ever before.”

Zayn thought about it for a minute, remembering how much fun he and his friends Danny and Ant had had pranking their sisters. He’d sort of stopped when he met Liam, because they’d concentrated on boxing and Liam had already been rather sensible back then, so what was wrong with making use of this opportunity?

“Sure” he grinned. “It’ll be fun.”

"Yay!" Niall made, moving to hug Zayn. "We'll have a right laugh.”

Zayn hugged him back and tried to ignore the tiny little voice in his head, warning him that this could make things so much more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what a dumb idea :D thoughts?  
> you can also find me on [ tumblr ](http://www.kissingziall.tumblr.com) :) i post everything i write there too, plus a few more oneshots and drabbles


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to update every five days :)

At first, they didn't do much different. Outside of the hotel paps were waiting for them, shouting intrusive questions that both boys ignored, Niall only going over to the fans waiting for him.

Zayn stayed as close to him as he always did while he waited for the blond to sign all of the autographs he was asked for, taking lots of pictures.

At the venue, Marco greeted them, looking stressed.

"I've been getting so many calls, everyone wants to interview you, Niall. What have you two done?"

"We literally only went sightseeing" Zayn defended them. "These articles only showed a certain sort of pictures."

"I realise that happens easily" Marco sighed. "Don't worry though, it's actually quite good publicity, you know, keeps people from forgetting about you, on a bigger scale than those interviews you’ve been doing. It just would've been nice to have had time to prepare for this madness."

"Well, we didn't exactly plan on creating those rumours."

"Has any of you given a statement on this already?"

"No" Niall shook his head.

"Great!" Marco said, even clapping his hands once. "You can keep these rumours going for a while, it'll be free publicity."

"You're ordering us to pretend we're a couple?" Niall asked, and Zayn could hear the contained laughter in his voice.

"No, no, you don't have to pretend anything, I'd just advise you not to shoot these accusations right down."

"You know" Zayn said, exchanging a look with Niall, whose eyes were gleaming. "Actually..."

-

With the approval of Niall's management, they planned things out more detailed.

Niall insisted he didn't want to lie or even omit the truth, so if they were asked directly, they'd still deny a romantic relationship. They would, however, keep being this familiar with each other in public, just to keep people invested in their relationship.

"This is so weird" Niall laughed. "I can't believe I'm deliberately making my fans believe in something that isn't there."

"I think some of them already believe in it anyway" Zayn chuckled. "If you look at your twitter mentions."

"That's true" Niall chuckled before he turned serious again. "Still feel a bit bad about it."

"Hey" Zayn said. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I just thought, since you suggested it...and we're not really doing anything anyway. I mean, we basically just have to be us. Let people interpret what they want."

Niall smiled. "I like that there's an 'us'."

Zayn felt caught off guard for a second. He wasn't sure why, but he didn't really know how to react to Niall's words.

Niall looked a bit surprised himself and shook his head slightly, just a tiny movement that Zayn barely noticed.  “Anyway” he steered them away from possibly problematic topics, “it’s alright, I’m fine with keeping the gossip going for a while. We just need to make sure we don’t take things too far.”

“Yeah, of course” Zayn promised. “We’ll stop as soon as you don’t want it anymore, no matter what your PR team says, okay? I have your back.”

“Thanks” Niall smiled. “I’m really glad I picked you as my bodyguard.”

Zayn smiled back and chucked him under the chin, a gesture he’d found himself repeating quite often. “Me too.”

-

_“@NiallOfficial: Dressin room shenanigans ! with @zaynmalik_ ”

 

_“@zaynmalik: @NiallOfficial the things you call shenanigans…. ;)”_

_“@Harry_Styles: @zaynmalik @NiallOfficial I’ll have you know I just blushed on behalf of both of you.”_

_“@Louis_Tomlinson: @Harry_Styles @zaynmalik @NiallOfficial don’t intrude Harold!!”_

_“@NiallOfficial: ignoring you @Louis_Tomlinson @Harry_Styles”_

-

“Apparently we’re very convincing” Niall said, walking into Zayn’s hotel room where he was currently spread out on his bed reading a book. The blonde dropped down next to him, getting comfortable right away. “You’ve seen Harry’s and Louis’ tweets, right? When I talked to them today they wouldn’t believe we’re just pretending. They thought I was keeping secrets from them.”

Zayn chuckled. “I bet they were very offended.”

“ _So_ offended” Niall laughed. “You should’ve heard them.”

“But if you told them I guess that means it’s alright I told Liam? Cause I already did.”

“Sure” Niall shrugged. “I’m gonna have to tell my parents too, at some point. Mum’s already too set on you as her future son-in-law anyway.”

“What?” Zayn laughed incredulously.

“Yeah, I dunno why…she’s been dropping hints since those first pictures of us appeared.”

“Oh god. How am I supposed to look her in the eye when I meet her?”

“Ah, don’t worry. She’s gonna embarrass me more than you.”

“Are you looking forward to seeing your family again? It’s not that long until we go to Ireland now.”

“Yeah, of course” Niall smiled. “Haven’t seen them all in quite a while. My mum’s flown over a few times but she’s got work too so she doesn’t see me as much as she wants to.”

Zayn grinned. "It's not a one-sided thing though, right? You can't lie to me."

Niall blushed. "Yeah, well, it's nice to be taken care of again once in a while."

"I'm not making fun of you, Niall" Zayn assured him. "I totally get it. Besides, you're only 16, it's even more natural then."

Niall huffed and sat up. "I'm not some small child, Zayn! Why are you so focused on my age all the time? Okay, I'm not legally an adult yet, and I won't be for a year and a couple of weeks, but I'm not a child anymore either. I've had to grow up really quickly over the past year or so, and I hate being treated like a child. Besides, you're not even that much older than me, so what makes you think you can just look down on me?"

Zayn gaped at the boy, whose cheeks were flushed and his chest heaving.

"Niall-" he started, but was interrupted.

"Don't "Niall" me! You're patronising me, that's what you're doing, and I'm so sick of it! Why can't you just treat me like an equal?"

With that, he finally jumped off Zayn's bed and stormed out of the room.

Zayn still hadn't moved, too stunned to do anything but stare.

He wasn't sure what had just happened. He hadn't meant what he said in a patronising way, hadn't even been aware Niall felt that way. He also simply hadn't expected an outbreak like this from Niall, like ever. The boy was sunshine incarnated, seeing him angry felt wrong in every way.

Zayn ran his hand through his hair and got up, following Niall.

"Niall?" he asked, knocking against his closed door lightly.

"No" was all he got for a reply.

"Niall, c'mon" he insisted, forehead resting against the door. "I didn't mean it like that."

Then, quietly: "Fine."

Zayn entered the room slowly and saw Niall standing by the window, back turned towards him.

"Look, Niall, I'm really sorry. I didn't know you felt that way -"

"Which way?" Niall interrupted him, slightly panicky.

"Um...like you were being treated like a child?" It came out as a question because Zayn was once again thoroughly confused by Niall's reaction. What else did Niall think he could be talking about?

"Oh, yeah, of course" Niall muttered, still not turning around. "And it's okay. I overreacted, I guess."

"No, it's good if you tell me about things like that so they don't happen again" Zayn disagreed. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah" Niall shrugged. "Just a bit tired."

"Okay" Zayn said and felt the sudden urge to wrap his arms around Niall's small form to protect him from whatever made him look so defeated. "Don't forget about the telephone interview with that magazine though. It's scheduled for three."

"Right" Niall said. "I should probably prepare for that. Could you -?"

"Oh, sure." Zayn turned around to leave him alone, looking back once more when he closed the door behind himself.

Niall still stood by the window, shoulders hunched forward, and his fingers were wrapped around the rail in front of the window so tightly his knuckles were white.

Zayn sighed and ran his hand across his face tiredly. He wasn't sure what was going on, but seeing Niall so unhappy just felt wrong.

All he wanted was to make Niall smile, but Niall obviously didn't want him around right now. He sighed once more and tried to focus on his book again.

-

An hour later, Niall came bounding into his room, jumping straight onto his bed, back to his old self.

"So d'you wanna listen to the interview? They might ask about you."

"I'm pretty sure they will" Zayn grinned, happy to see Niall smile again. "So if you don't mind..."

"Nah, I don't mind you listening in. They're probably gonna call any minute now." He paused, throwing a shy glance Zayn's way. "Sorry about my weird moods today, by the way. Dunno what's going on."

Zayn smiled at him fondly, going for the chuck under Niall's chin again. "It's fine. Just know you can always talk to me, yeah?"

"Thanks." Niall's smile was bashful and Zayn felt the urge to take him somewhere safe again.

The telephone chose that exact moment to ring and both boys jumped, laughing at each other for a second before Niall picked it up.

The interview seemed pretty standard to Zayn, the woman on the other end of the phone asking Niall about his tour, his family, his childhood and how he got into music.

Eventually, she moved on to his love life, as expected from an interview for a teen magazine.

“So, Niall” she started. “A while ago, you came out in a video you put on YouTube.”

“Yeah.”

“How’s that been for you? Have people been supportive?”

“I’ve been quite lucky, yeah. I mean, most of my friends and family already knew anyway, but my fans have been great too. So it’s been a lot better than anyone expected.”

“That’s lovely” the woman said. “Now, you understand that your fans are just as curious about your love life as with any other young, attractive pop star. So, Niall, what’s it like for you? How many boyfriends have you had?”

“Um” Niall made, glancing at Zayn quickly before averting his eyes. Zayn felt a wave of fondness rise in his chest. It was apparent that Niall was embarrassed to admit this. “Only one proper boyfriend.”

“Oh? When was that?”

“Back home and all throughout the X Factor. We had to break up because of the distance a couple of months after, though.”

“Aw, that’s sad. No romances since then?”

Niall grinned at Zayn.

“Here we go” Zayn mouthed and Niall chuckled.

“No, not really” he chuckled.

“You surely have heard the rumours about you and your bodyguard, Zayn Malik. Wanna enlighten us about those?”

“Well, that’s all they are, rumours. I’m not dating him.”

“What’s your relationship then?”

“He’s my bodyguard obviously, but we’re friends too. He gets me, you know? We have a lot of things in common, too. Did you know he could sing really well? We were watching _Grease_ the other day, and we were both singing along to _You’re The One That I Want_ , it sounded great!”

“Niall” Zayn said in a hushed tone, trying to shut him up.

“What was that? Is he there with you right now? Is Zayn there too?”

“Uh” Zayn said. “Yeah. Hi.”

“So you’re listening in on the interviews Niall gives?”

“Well, we knew you’d ask about us, so I decided to listen” Zayn explained truthfully.

“And you sing love songs together?”

“You weren’t supposed to tell anyone about that” Zayn said to Niall, who merely laughed. “And it wasn’t like that, we just both sang along when it came on in the movie and found out we were kind of good at harmonising.”

“Do you often sing together?”

“No” Niall piped up again. “He says he wants to leave the singing to the professional. Sometimes I hear him singing in the shower, though.”

Once again, Zayn could only gape at him.

“You can hear him in the shower? Do you share a hotel room?” Zayn almost laughed out loud. That woman was good at her job, picking out the incriminating things out of everything they said.

“No, only a bathroom” Niall said and Zayn thought he was keeping his answer deliberately vague. “Alright, it was lovely chatting with you, but we should head towards the venue soon, I’ve got a show tonight.”

“Oh, of course. Thank you for the interview, Niall, and all the best for the show and your future.”

“Thank you” Niall said. “Bye!”

When he had hung up, he and Zayn looked at each other for a minute.

“I’d say that went better than we could’ve ever planned” Zayn summed up what they were both thinking.

“I’m so excited to see what she makes of that” Niall laughed. “We gave her lots of material to interpret whatever she wants.”

"She's gonna think we share a room after that answer of yours. I liked how you just ended the interview before she could ask you to clear that up."

"It was so much fun! Jesus, I never would've expected it to be this easy and this much fun."

"It was great fun" Zayn laughed. "Imagine every interview being like this."

"I can't believe how easy it was! We didn't have to lie at all, but we gave her more than enough to construct absolutely anything she wants from it."

"I can't wait for that magazine to come out. But you know, you weren't lying about you having to go. We really should leave soon, especially if you want to grab McDonald's on the way like you announced this morning."

"Oh, yeah" Niall said. "About that...how much time do we have? Enough to eat there instead of getting it to go? Gives us more time to be spotted, you know."

Zayn grinned. "Well, Mr Horan. Your wish is my command. Just hurry up a little, and I'll tell the driver."

-

McDonald's was never completely empty, but on a weekday at 4pm it wasn't exactly crowded either.

No one seemed to recognise them at first, even though the guy taking their orders looked at them as if he was trying to figure out where he'd seen them before.

It wasn’t until they had sat down and Niall was already digging into his Chicken McNuggets that a group of three teenage girls approached them, giggling.

“Excuse me?” one of them asked, and Niall looked up, swallowing the bite he’d just taken. Zayn put down his chicken burger, that looked kind of pathetic next to Niall’s mass of food, too.

“Hi” Niall smiled.

“I hope we’re not annoying, but we saw you and were wondering if we could get a picture?” the girl continued, while her friends kept giggling. Zayn nearly rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, no, sure” Niall said and turned to Zayn. “You’ll take a picture, Zaynie, right?”

“Of course” Zayn grinned, not entirely sure if Niall had used the nickname on purpose or not. He definitely saw the girls cooing at it though.

Zayn took pictures of all three girls and Niall with their phones and when they finally left, Niall went right back to his food.

“Thank god” he said, chewing happily. “I thought they wouldn’t leave until it was all cold.”

Zayn laughed. “Wasn’t this the goal? Being spotted?”

“Well…yeah. But not while I eat.”

“Tough luck.”

“Don’t tease me, I’m still the boss here.”

“I’m stronger than you” Zayn deadpanned, deliberately not going for the age this time. He didn’t want to upset Niall again.

“We never actually tried that” Niall said thoughtfully. “But yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I might have a fucked up wrist but I can still throw a mean punch” Zayn grinned.

“We’re even then, I have a fucked up knee.”

“You do?” Zayn asked surprised.

“Yeh, I dislocated it once during footie practice a few years back and it’s been weak ever since. I keep dislocating it.”

“Ow” Zayn made. “D’you have to be extra careful with it?”

“I should” Niall chuckled. “But I still jump about all the time. I’m alright though, know what helps if it starts hurting and stuff.”

Zayn shook his head at him fondly. “Watch out or I’m gonna have to carry you around one day.”

They put their trays away and left the building, when Niall suddenly stopped, prompting Zayn to turn around to look at him.

“You know what” Niall said, a grin on his face that made Zayn expect the worst. “You could already practice the carrying, you know, for training. Just in case. Piggyback to the car?”

Zayn sighed deeply, but felt his lips twitch in a smile. “You’re the laziest person I know. But alright, for training. Get on.”

He turned around, crouching a bit so Niall could jump on his back easily. Luckily the blond lad was a lightweight, so he had no problem carrying him across the car park to where their driver had insisted staying in the car. He even galloped a bit when Niall ordered him to, feeling a bit embarrassed and yet happy he was the reason for the laughter Niall let out.

They got into the car to the driver who shook his head at them fondly but didn’t comment.

“So was this was fun purposes or due to the fact that there were at least twenty people who could’ve taken pictures or videos of us?” Zayn asked when they pulled out of the car park.

“Fun” Niall answered immediately. “I didn’t even think about the people, to be honest.”

For some reason, Zayn found it hard to wipe the smile off his face after that.

-

“You’re in a different magazine literally every day” Liam said on the phone a few days later, when Zayn called him for his birthday. “You’re either spotted somewhere being adorable, or you’ve tweeted each other or a selfie, or Niall’s done some interview where you’re at least mentioned. Unless you decide to just join in halfway through. Can you just do that? On live radio?”

“I was asked to” Zayn defended himself. “It would’ve been awkward if I’d said no.”

“Well at least I see you more now than I would otherwise.”

“You should come to one of Niall’s shows” Zayn blurted out.

“What?”

“Yeah” Zayn confirmed, suddenly wanting nothing more. “I miss you, and it wouldn’t be a problem at all. You could come to the Manchester show, that’s doable for you and Niall’s friends are coming too anyway. I’d get to see you before we fly over to Ireland and you’d finally be able to meet Niall.”

“Yeah, okay” Liam chuckled. “I miss you too, so if you’re sure it’s okay…?”

“I mean, I’ll probably have to talk to some people, but I’m the head of security, so I can get pretty much everyone in. See it as a sort of birthday present.”

Liam laughed. “It’s good to have connections.”

“Liam, that’s just a bit over a week to go! I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too, Zayn. When was the last time we haven’t seen each other in over four weeks?”

“I don’t know” Zayn mused. “Have we ever?”

“We might not” Liam laughed. “People could think we’re a bit co-dependent.”

“I think we might be” Zayn agreed. “I depend on you at least.”

Niall chose that exact moment to walk in and Zayn smiled at him.

“And you can” Liam said. “I’m always here for you. That means you can tell me everything too.”

“I know” Zayn gave back, confused by Liam’s meaningful tone.

“I just mean…if there’s anything else you want to tell me…you know, involving Niall-“

“Liam” Zayn hissed, looking over at Niall who seemed distracted enough by his game of FIFA. “There’s nothing to tell you. I told you it’s a publicity thing.”

“Yeah, but you also said you wouldn’t be playing a couple. And you two look awfully familiar with each other.”

“We’re friends! And we spend literally all of our time together, most of it in small spaces. What do you expect us to act like?”

“You and I were like that too, though, but you never looked at me like you look at him. And he looks at you like you hung the stars, Zayn.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Liam” Zayn said, still in a hushed voice. “You’ve only seen what the magazines want you to see. You’ve never even seen us interact in reality.”

Liam sighed. “Okay, if you say so. I didn’t want to fight with you, Zayn. I’m sorry if I made you upset, and I won’t accuse you of anything before I haven’t witnessed you two in person, alright?”

“Yeah. It’s okay, I’m not mad. I’m happy you want to come to Manchester.”

“Me too. Don’t be a stranger until then, alright? I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Yeah, bye Liam.”

“Was that Liam?” Niall asked when Zayn hung up, nodding in reply. “What were you two whispering about then?”

“Oh, nothing special” Zayn lied. “He’s gonna come to the Manchester show too, by the way. I asked him to.”

“Oh, great!” Niall exclaimed. “I can’t wait to finally meet him. And Louis and Harry will be there too, it’s gonna be a right laugh!”

“I think it will” Zayn agreed. “You’ll like Liam.”

“How long have you been friends with him?” Niall wanted to know.

“We met when we were put in the advanced boxing class when we were both twelve” Zayn explained. “We were the youngest by far, so we kind of clung to each other. He’s been my best friend ever since.” He smiled faintly when he remembered how Liam had sort of taken him under his wing from day one on, despite being the younger one. Later, Liam would say it was because Zayn used to be even skinnier and looked as if he needed protection.

“When I went pro he didn’t, but he never resented me for it or anything” Zayn continued. “ He went to school for management and I made him my manager during my last year as a boxer. Everyone advised me against it, since he was so young and inexperienced, hadn’t even finished school yet, but there was no one I trusted more. My dad was my manager before and he was quite relieved to only be a consultant after that, since he was still working his normal job. It meant a lot less work for him and looks great on Liam’s CV, so it was a win-win situation.”

“I can tell how much he means to you” Niall said, a small smile on his face. “And I’m really glad you have a friend like that. I’ve kind of lost touch with most of my friends from home. I still talk to them sometimes and when I visit I hang out with them, but Harry and Louis are my best friends now.”

“They’re great lads.”

“They are” Niall agreed, but his smile was still a bit sad.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Zayn asked carefully, sliding closer to Niall on the sofa.

“Nothing’s _wrong_ per se” Niall said quietly. “I just sometimes get a bit sad thinking about my friends back home. My best friend, Sean…he’s the boyfriend I talked about during that one interview, do you remember?”

“Oh” Zayn said. “What happened?”

"Well" Niall shrugged. "I guess it's a kind of typical story. Childhood friends - we literally grew up next to each other - who fell in love. He was the first person I told about my sexuality, before I had even completely figured it out myself. And then like a year after that, we were just mucking about on the street in front of our houses, playing footie or something, and I was angry at him for something and he kissed me." Niall smiled kind of sadly and Zayn pulled him closer, feeling the need to comfort him. Niall didn't seem to mind, he rested his head against Zayn's shoulder and closed his eyes before going on.

"To say I was surprised is a bit of an understatement, but I'd had a crush on him forever, which was kind of the reason I'd started questioning my sexuality in the first place, so I was thrilled of course. It wasn't easy though, Sean wasn't really comfortable with himself yet and didn't want to tell anyone. So we stayed best friends to everyone else but I was really in love with him, you know? We already dated when I applied for the X Factor, and I thought we'd keep trying afterwards. And everything was fine when I went home after I got voted off the show, but when I left again to be signed he suddenly told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. Apparently he didn't want a long distance relationship."

"I'm sorry, Niall" Zayn said softly.

"It's alright, I'm over him. I'm not in love with him anymore or anything, I'm just really sad we're not the best friends we used to be anymore."

"Have you tried being friends since?"

"Not really" Niall said. "I mean, it's kind of awkward being around each other now, especially since I'm barely there anymore. So we haven't really had the chance to try, but to be honest, I don't think it'd work anyway. You can never go back to exactly the same way it was before."

"You're probably right about that" Zayn agreed, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. "But you can move on to a new kind of friendship, and that doesn't have to be worse than what you used to have, only different."

"Isn't it always gonna be too awkward for that?"

"From my personal experience, it isn't. In the beginning, yeah, massively awkward. But it gets better with time and as you get used to each other."

"Which is kind of hard living so far away from each other" Niall said, giving Zayn a "duh"-look up through his eyelashes. "But I was gonna talk to him once we get there."

“I think that’s a good idea” Zayn smiled. “It’ll be good to maybe get closure or something, so you can both move on.”

“Nah,” Niall said, ”I _have_ moved on. It’s literally only the lost friendship that bothers me.”

“How long has it been since you broke up?” Zayn asked, inexplicably curious what exactly Niall meant when he said he’d moved on.

“Almost a year” Niall shrugged. “I came here to sign my contract and then worked on my album after that. And – um, nevermind.”

“What is it? I meant it when I said you could tell me everything.”

“It’s just – I’m a bit embarrassed to say it” Niall said, giving a nervous chuckle. "But yeah, there was this guy who played the drums on my album, his name is Josh. And well...we, you know."

He stopped talking again, embarrassed. Zayn's arm around him had tightened involuntarily. The thought of Niall being with some unknown drummer guy made his chest constrict for some reason.

"But didn't you say you only had one boyfriend?"

"One proper boyfriend" Niall corrected him. "Josh and I didn't exactly have a relationship in that sense."

"Oh" Zayn made, gritting his teeth. Who was that guy and how could he take advantage of a young boy like Niall that way?

"So how old is that Josh guy?" he asked, his voice sounding odd to his own ears.

"Don't look at me like that" Niall said, pouting a little. "He's only 20, even younger than you are."

"Oh" Zayn repeated, less relieved than he'd expected. Something was still rubbing him the wrong way. "So are you and him still -?"

"No" Niall shook his head. "It was a quite short-lived thing. My point is that I'm over Sean."

"Just...wanted to make sure we weren't making anyone jealous" Zayn said, and he almost cringed at his own words. He wasn't sure what it was, but that wasn't it.

Niall laughed. "No, there isn't. At least not on my side, I don't know about you...?"

"No one getting jealous" Zayn shook his head, and neither of them said anything for a while.

The silence felt heavy, charged with _something_ , and Zayn started to think he knew what it was. It couldn't be though, shouldn't be, so he slowly lifted his arm from where it was still wrapped around Niall, clearing his throat.

"Anyway" he said, feeling more awkward around Niall than ever before. "I should pack my stuff, we're leaving soon."

"Yeah, me too" Niall said softly, getting up and walking into his room without looking back once.


	5. Chapter 5

"Speaking of things changing your life" the reporter said, looking at Niall curiously. "I bet it's hard getting used to all the media attention on you, right?"

They were in Blackpool in a tiny makeshift studio, not more than four walls, two chairs and one camera, filming an interview for a small TV channel.

Zayn was stood behind the camera line, together with the guy responsible for the microphones and the rest of the technicians.

"Yeh, I guess it's very different from what my life used to look like. It's alright though, I learned how to cope with cameras everywhere on the X Factor." He chuckled and the reporter gave him a warm smile, obviously taken in by him. Zayn smiled too. Niall had that effect on people, and the woman was no exception.

"Lately, that interest has been even heightened due to the rumours surrounding you and your bodyguard." Both of them looked Zayn's way at that and he gave a sheepish wave. He'd expected this topic to be brought up sometime during the interview, it always was. The whole free publicity thing was working out exceptionally well.

In front of the cameras, Niall shrugged. "I guess people are curious why I get along so well with my bodyguard."

"Why do you?" the reporter asked. "What's your relationship like?"

"Well we're friends" Niall explained. "Which is good, because we spend literally all of our time together and it'd suck if we hated our guts instead."

Zayn chuckled at that, and both turned to look at him again.

"Why doesn't he just join us?" the reporter said, her face lighting up with the idea.

"Oh no, no" Zayn held off, shaking his head for emphasis.

"You're already here anyway, come on up. It's kind of pointless talking _about_ you, when you're right here, isn't it?"

Everyone was looking at him expectantly, so Zayn gave in, sighed and walked around the camera, approaching the - wait. Two chairs.

"Um" he said. "There's not enough chairs."

There was a flurry of motion as everyone tried to find something for him to sit on, but the studio was already crowded enough as it was and there was no chair to be found.

"It's alright, I don't have to join in" Zayn said, and the relief was probably very obvious in his voice.

"Don't you dare walk away" the woman said, and even though she didn't say it threateningly, Zayn didn't move.

"You can sit here" Niall piped up. "I'll just sit on your lap."

"What a marvellous idea!" the reporter exclaimed and Zayn thought that this was another one of those situations where they gave them exactly what they wanted.

"Okay" he said, sitting down on the chair Niall offered him, pulling the younger boy down onto his lap.

They'd sat close before, Niall practically on his lap - especially during scary movies - but this was the first time he'd actually sat on Zayn's lap. He was surprised by how light the blond was, and how comfortably he fit there.

Zayn kept himself from wrapping his arms securely around Niall's waist and placed them on the armrests instead. Niall sat slightly sideways, so Zayn could easily look past him at the woman interviewing them.

She looked curious and delighted at the intimacy she'd caused and Zayn thought about how easy it was to let people see what they wanted to see. It was hilarious, really.

"Alright, isn't this nice and cosy?" the woman - Zayn thought she'd said her name was Laura, and she couldn't be much over 30 - asked. "Now I can finally talk to both of you. So, Zayn, are you insisting you're only friends too?"

"Sorry to disappoint" Zayn smiled. "Still strictly platonic."

"And you're absolutely sure about that? Cause both of you look oddly disappointed whenever you deny a romantic relationship."

Zayn physically felt the implication behind that, and the force of that feeling scared him a little. What if she had a point? But either way, a TV interview wasn't the place to start analysing his own behaviour.

Niall shifted uncomfortably on his lap and coughed. "Well, we're obviously sorry to disappoint so many people. We're not blind, we see how many people wish we were a couple."

"That's completely your decision though, isn't it? Whether you're a couple or not. It's not your responsibility to please anyone, whether they want you to be together or condemn a relationship because of your rather big age difference."

"There are people who do that?" Zayn asked, surprised.

"Oh, yes" Laura said. The reporter seemed more than pleased with how the interview was going. "There are plenty of people who say it'd be wrong of you to take advantage of a minor like that."

Zayn realised she was hoping to get them to a point where they'd defend - and confirm with it - their relationship, and deliberately put his arms around Niall.

"Well, it's a good thing it's my job to protect him from being taken advantage of then, isn't it?"

Laura's face fell a little at that and Zayn knew he'd been right.

She kept asking them questions about how they spent their time and if they had special rituals or what they did to tease each other, but she seemed to have accepted she wouldn't be getting a confession from them.

-

"I hate how I always end up being dragged into your interviews" Zayn said to Niall after they'd left the provisional studio.

"Yeah, sorry about that" Niall winced. "I know you don't like being in the spotlight like that."

"It's not about that, actually, but thanks. It's more the fact that I feel like they care more about your love life than your music, and I don't want that for you. You're so good at what you do, I want people to think of your talent when they hear your name, not about me and what relationship we might have."

Niall had stopped walking and when Zayn noticed, he turned around to find out why. Niall's eyes were wide and glassy, and Zayn worriedly took a step towards him. "Hey, Niall, what -"

The blond boy didn't say anything but interrupted Zayn by throwing his arms around his chest and hugging him. Zayn's arms automatically encircled his shoulders, holding on tightly, but he was terribly confused.

"What's this for?" Zayn asked, not letting go yet.

He could feel Niall's smile against his neck and it made him shiver slightly.

"Just because you're the best" the smaller boy mumbled. "Dunno what I did to deserve you."

"What's going on, babe? Where does this come from?"

"What you just said!" Niall said reproachful, leaning back just enough to look at Zayn. "That was the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. You're literally the best person ever."

Zayn chuckled fondly and shook his head. "No I'm not, but thanks. I just care about you."

Niall smiled. "I care about you too."

Zayn leaned forward quickly, pressing a soft kiss to Niall's cheek, just because he felt like doing it. "Alright, enough mushiness for today, let's get you to the car."

-

**Ready to come out?**

**Niall Horan (16) and Zayn Malik (21) have been objects of many rumours surrounding their relationship lately, and it looks like they might be ready to take the next step and end those rumours by going public.**

**The singer and his bodyguard were spotted in Blackpool earlier today, where Horan filmed a TV interview in which he reportedly denied any more than platonic elements between the two of them once again.**

**However, mere minutes after leaving the studio, they were spotted embracing intimately and sharing what looks to be a sweet kiss (check out the pictures below, taken by a fan).**

**Is this a sign that they're giving up the endless game of hide and seek?**

-

"There they are, the lovebirds!"

Louis' voice echoed throughout the whole venue as Zayn and Niall entered it, and the latter broke into a smile despite of his friends’ words.

"Haz! Lou!" he shouted and picked up his pace to meet his two friends halfway across the room.

Zayn watched as the three teenagers hugged it out and then gave Niall's friends a hug each too.

"It's good to see you again" he smiled, and he actually meant it. He’d had a good time with them last time they’d met, and he liked them well enough.

"So is it true then?" Louis asked teasingly. "Are you ready to drop the act and finally come out?"

Niall kicked his shin. "I feel like you read even more of the articles than we do."

"Well we gotta keep up with what you're doing, right? No better way than the yellow press."

"Well, obviously" Zayn laughed. "I see the whole world knows more about us than we do."

"Did you kiss though?" Harry blurted out, and Zayn watched as Niall blushed furiously.

"Just on the cheek!" he exclaimed and Zayn nodded in agreement while Louis and Harry looked between them.

Louis' gaze made Zayn feel slightly uncomfortable, especially when it narrowed in on him and Louis said: "Well, it looks as if Niall's gonna have to marry someone else before these rumours stop."

"Except Niall's not old enough to marry anyone" Zayn interjected and immediately felt as if it had been a mistake from the way Louis' face changed.

The kid scared him a bit sometimes.

"What's this talk about marriage? Were the rumours true after all?" a familiar voice said from somewhere behind him, and Zayn spun around.

"Liam!" he yelled and couldn't stop himself from running to hug his best friend.

"Missed you, man" he whispered once Liam set him down again after he'd swung him around twice - something he'd done ever since he'd somehow managed to become almost twice Zayn's size.

"I missed you too" Liam grinned, "but now I wanna meet the famous Niall."

Zayn chuckled at the double entendre but let go of Liam to lead him towards the other three.

"Everyone, this is Liam" he started the introductions. "Liam, this is Louis, the curly one is Harry, and the little one here is Niall."

"Hey!" Niall protested, elbowing Zayn before he stepped forward with his signature smile and hugged a surprised Liam.

"It's so nice to finally meet you" he said. "Zayn has told me so much about you."

Liam looked pleased when Niall let go of him, throwing a smile Zayn's way.

"Well I'm glad he hasn't forgotten about me completely, because all he talks about to me is you."

Now it was Niall looking pleased and Zayn felt the urgent need to get between these two before they shared anything even more embarrassing.

Louis grinned at him smugly. "Awkward situation that, huh?"

"Why would it be awkward?" Zayn tried to play it down, but unsurprisingly, Louis looked unconvinced.

"Right, so now that we've all met," Niall announced, "Harry suggested a place we could grab lunch at, d'you wanna go?"

"Already?" Liam asked with a glance at his watch.

"How can you already be hungry again, Ni?" Zayn asked incredulously. "We had breakfast like two hours ago."

"That's two hours too much without food. You still haven't learned, Zayn" Niall teased and Zayn laughed, boxing his upper arm lightly.

"Alright then" Zayn said. "Let's go."

"Didn't you just say you're not hungry yet?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, but Niall is" Zayn shrugged.

Louis groaned and it sounded half amused, half desperate. "Man, you're whipped."

"Niall's literally always hungry, you gotta deny him things sometimes. He'll live" Harry agreed.

"I'm not whipped, but Niall's the boss. Literally."

"Yeah, yeah" Louis made. "You keep telling yourself that."

"What -?"

"Since we don't really have anything else planned" Liam interrupted Zayn, "we might just as well go now and feed Niall. Until we're there we might be hungry too."

"I like you, Liam" Niall grinned and skipped ahead. "Come on, Lou's got a car!"

-

It took a lot of bickering and childish shoving that made it seem as if they'd all known each other for far longer than they actually had, but finally Liam squeezed past a reluctant Harry onto the passenger seat next to Louis. Harry, Niall and Zayn sat crammed in the back.

"Niall, keep your pointy elbows to yourself" Zayn groaned after the younger boy had elbowed him in the stomach when he tried to fasten his seatbelt.

"Stop whining, you baby" Niall said, slapping Zayn's thigh and resting his hand there afterwards. "You're supposed to be a big, bad boxer, remember?"

Liam in the front laughed at that before he turned back to whatever conversation he was having with Louis.

"You're undermining my authority" Zayn complained.

"What authority?" Niall smirked, squeezing Zayn's thigh once before taking his hand away.

Zayn wanted to give back something witty, but for some reason his brain seemed to be a jumbled mess of "put it back"s and "he's my client"s. He wasn't a fool, he'd noticed that Niall affected him in a different way than a “just a friend” would, but he also knew that it just couldn't be.

It was a crush, because Niall was cute and funny and the only person he really spent time with, he'd get over it soon enough.

Just his luck that his way too observant best friend and Niall’s even worse best friend were here on one of the days he’d labelled as “bad days” – the days where each of Niall’s touches lit his skin on fire and his smiles made his knees weak.

"Zayn?" Niall's hand was moving back and forth in front of his eyes and Zayn blinked. "Kinda zoned out there for a minute, mate. You okay?"

"Uh, yeah" Zayn said, shaking his head. "Sorry."

Four pairs of eyes - including Louis' in the rear-view mirror - turned away from him, and Zayn was relieved. He tended to think out aloud, which could have ended very mortifying for him. And with a termination of his job contract.

So yes, he'd have to get his stupid feelings under control quickly.

When they arrived at their destination, it was already past noon - thanks to Louis, who'd insisted he knew a better way to get to the restaurant than Harry, despite the fact that the latter had grown up nearby.

Niall had a frown on his face that grew deeper every time he looked at Louis while Liam seemed to find the whole thing uncharacteristically funny. Zayn wondered how quickly Louis could've corrupted him.

Pretty quickly, apparently.

"Jesus, I'm starving" Niall groaned and pushed at Zayn's shoulder to make him get out of the car faster.

"Stop whining, you baby" Zayn teasingly repeated his earlier words and ruffled his hair before stumbling out of the car after another shove from the smaller boy.

"Is he serious about being that hungry?" Liam asked Zayn quietly when Niall sped up to enter the restaurant Harry was leading them to.

"No" Zayn chuckled. "Well, he _is_ hungry, but he's also a bit of a drama queen sometimes."

"I can tell" Liam laughed as they were being seated at a table in a corner.

Lunch with five boys was quite a noisy act, and Zayn would've felt a bit sorry for the other guests if it wouldn't have been so much fun. As it was, he was enjoying himself far too much to think about anyone but the four boys sat at the table with him.

He'd already found out how much fun there was to be had with Niall, Harry and Louis, and it was great to see Liam fit in with the group easily. By the end of lunch it felt as if they'd all known each other forever.

-

"Your car is too small, Tommo" Niall complained when they were all squeezing into it again. This time, Harry had insisted on riding shotgun so they wouldn't repeat the disaster from earlier but banning Liam with his broad shoulders to the backseat meant that Niall was practically sitting on top of Zayn.

"Right, let me just get my other, bigger car I bought just for your pleasure" Louis said sarcastically, continuing before Liam could get out whatever he wanted to say. "Please stop crying on the cheap seats."

"Well then" Niall said cheerily. "Liam, you don't mind if I lean against your shoulder, do you? Zaynie, you're gonna have to deal with my legs."

"What, I don't even get asked?" Zayn pouted playfully as Niall twisted in the tiny spot that was his seat, leaning against Liam's shoulder and throwing his legs across Zayn's.

"Obviously not" Niall grinned, patting his cheek. "I don't know Liam well enough yet, so he gets the courtesy but you don't."

"He wouldn't say no anyway" Louis said over his shoulder and Liam chuckled while Harry just grinned and ruffled his curls in his signature move.

Zayn shrugged, trying to look as unaffected as possible. "I don't mind, yeah."

"We know" Harry piped up and he, Liam and Louis just laughed again, leaving Niall and Zayn to look at each other and shrug.

It was a bit scary how quickly the three of them had made some kind of pact against them, but it was probably best to just let them have their fun.

Louis parked his car behind the venue, but someone must've seen them, since they were surrounded by surprisingly many people before they had properly gotten out of the car.

Niall had gotten out on Liam's side, which meant Zayn had to walk around the car to get to him, pushing through the excited girls.

Technically, he wasn't afraid something could happen to Niall, but he knew that Liam wasn't exactly accustomed to big crowds like this, and Niall wouldn't turn to him before he got really scared, and Zayn would very much prefer it if Niall wouldn't even get to that point.

As gently as possible, he moved girls around, all of them recognising him rather quickly, taking pictures and asking questions he completely ignored excitedly.

Zayn spotted them before he reached them, letting out a relieved breath when he saw that Harry was there too.

Both him and Liam were taller than Niall, and they were flanking the smaller boy. They looked a bit disoriented and unsure, but Niall seemed fine.

When he finally got to them, Zayn squeezed in between some girls who'd gotten right to Louis' car and Niall, touching his arm lightly.

Niall jumped a bit but smiled when he turned around and recognised Zayn.

"You alright?" Zayn asked quietly, leaning in even closer so that none of the fans would hear anything. "'s a bit crowded."

"I'm good, don't worry. I've got Liam and Harry here and I knew you weren't far off either" Niall smiled, bumping his forehead against Zayn's shoulder softly. "You never stray too far."

Zayn chuckled. "Well, I wouldn't have strayed at all, but I reckon it would've looked a bit strange if I'd gotten out on Liam's side of the car too."

"It would've" Liam piped up, pulling Zayn back to a world where other people apart from Niall existed too.

"Anyway" he coughed awkwardly. "It'd probably be nice if you said hi to a few more fans, but we'll start moving towards the door slowly, okay? I'll go in front of you to make sure we get through, and Liam and Harry are gonna stay close to make sure you have room to move, got that, boys?"

They all nodded wide-eyed and slowly, the small group started moving.

Zayn could see Louis a few steps away from the crowd, taking pictures with a few of the girls who recognised him from his X Factor time, but throwing worried glances their way all the while. Zayn raised a hand to let him know they were alright, and Louis gave a thumbs-up.

It took them a long time to get to the backdoor of the venue, because Niall was too nice for his own good and made an effort to interact with every person who came to see him.

The part of Zayn that was his friend admired this side of Niall, but his bodyguard-part kept coming up with possibly problematic scenarios.

"Stop worrying, I'm _fine_ " Niall whispered to him at some point, and Zayn thought he should really work on his poker face.

When the door finally closed behind them, Zayn leaned against it with a sigh.

Niall laughed quietly. “You worry too much, Z.”

“Well, that’s kind of my job.”

“I thought it was cute how worried you were” Harry grinned and Zayn rubbed his face tiredly.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, but Louis was just as worried as I was. And isn’t that just the natural reaction to a crowd like that? Especially considering Niall’s claustrophobic.”

“Yeah, it’s alright Zayn, we were all worried” Liam said, trying to ease the tense atmosphere.

“And just for the record” Niall said, grabbing Zayn’s hand and squeezing it, “even though you worry too much, I’m glad you’re there.”

-

“I know you don’t wanna talk about it” Liam said to Zayn later, a few minutes before Niall would head on stage. “But what’s really going on with you and Niall? I promised you I wouldn’t say anything until I could form my own opinion, but after today I still don’t really know what to think.”

Zayn just looked at his best friend, at a loss for words.

“Look, it’s not necessarily the fact that you were worried for him because I meant it when I said we all were. But watching you two – it’s like intruding on something private. You have all those small touches and your nicknames and smiles and glances and sometimes it feels like you’re communicating without talking. You’re so at ease with each other and I’ve just never seen you act like that around anyone. Ever.”

Zayn still didn’t say anything, but he buried his face in his hands, shrugging helplessly.

“Oh, Zayn” Liam said, pulling him in for a hug. “Oh, Zayn.”

“I don’t know anything” Zayn said quietly after a while, words muffled against Liam’s shirt. “I don’t know what to do or how to feel anymore.”

“Is it because of his age?”

Zayn shrugged. “Nothing will ever come from it anyway. It’s just a dumb little crush.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s the truth. It’d only make everything fucking complicated and that’s the last thing I want for Niall. He’s too good for me anyway.”

“Will you ever stop putting yourself down, Zayn?” Liam sighed. “Don’t you see how good you are at what you do? You’re not a failure, I don’t know why you still think so.”

“You’re my best friend, Liam.”

“And you’re mine. That’s why I worry about you so much, and that’s why I want you to stop hating yourself for no reason at all. Let yourself be happy. And I can see that Niall makes you happy.”

Zayn just sighed deeply and closed his eyes, hugging Liam more tightly. It felt good being comforted like this, and he’d missed his best friend a lot.

“Oh” a small voice said, and Zayn immediately recognised it as Niall’s. “Sorry, I didn’t know –“

Before either Zayn or Liam could react, Niall had closed the door he’d opened again, gone as quickly as he’d arrived.

“What -?” Liam said and Zayn shook his head, confused.

Zayn rubbed his face again, trying to get rid of the exhaustion. He felt as if this day had already lasted an eternity.

“Let’s go out there, Niall’s about to go on” he suggested.

“Okay” Liam said. “But think about what I said, alright? I wish you’d stop denying yourself the things that make you happy.”

-

“Alright, I knew what Zayn said and I’ve listened to your album of course, but that was bloody brilliant, Niall!” Liam exclaimed when Niall got off stage after the show, high on adrenaline, the lights and the screams.

Zayn liked what he looked like in this state, hair ruffled and cheeks red, his eyes shining.

“Thanks” Niall grinned. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

He hugged each of them, laughing loudly when Louis pinched him and running around, excitedly babbling on about random stuff to everyone who would listen.

“Is he like this after every show?” Harry asked Zayn, causing him to tear his eyes away from the ball of sunshine that was Niall.

“Pretty much” Zayn chuckled. “He’s really excited for an hour or two, sometimes three, and then he gets really tired. Sometimes he falls asleep on me halfway through a movie.”

Louis laughed. “That’s _so_ Niall.”

“So are we just gonna do that tonight too?” Liam asked. “Watch a film at the hotel?”

“Sure” Zayn shrugged. “Unless you wanna do something else?”

“No, fine with me” Harry said.

“Can we order pizza though? Niall’s gonna want some anyway” Louis grinned.

“Yeah, let’s make a proper movie night of it” Liam agreed excitedly. “Pizza and popcorn and everything.”

“Do I hear pizza and popcorn?” Niall suddenly appeared in their middle. “Whatever you’re planning, I’m in!”

-

Zayn felt Liam’s eyes on him during most of the first film they watched, and he knew it was because of the way Niall was curled into his side with soft limbs and droopy eyes.

Their talk earlier had sort of been a confession of more than he’d even admitted to himself, and he didn’t know how to feel about that. Somehow, it made the feeling he got in his stomach around Niall realer, and that scared him. A lot.

Then again, the warmth of the small body next to his was anything but scary, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“Oi, Nialler” Louis made, poking at Niall’s leg from where he was sitting on the floor by their feet. “Don’t fall asleep, mate.”

Niall grunted and snuggled deeper into Zayn’s side, his breath tickling Zayn’s neck when he huffed quietly.

Zayn smiled and kicked Louis lightly to show him he’d keep him from annoying Niall, even if it meant he’d have to carry the blonde to his bed again.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

Zayn didn’t think Niall was awake for much of the second film, even though he’d insisted he wasn’t tired at all when Zayn had suggested he could go to bed instead of staying up with them. Zayn had chuckled disbelievingly but let him stay anyway.

The result of this and Zayn’s defence against Louis’ attempts of keeping Niall awake was Niall falling asleep before the movie could even take off properly, but he let him sleep anyway. He knew Niall would only be cranky all day tomorrow if he didn’t get enough rest after an exhausting day like this.

It was a travel day too, and they’d have to get up relatively early to get to Liverpool, their last stop before flying over to Ireland.

When the end credits started rolling, Zayn picked Niall up carefully, trying not to wake him up, and carried him over to his bedroom.

Niall’s eyes fluttered open when Zayn tucked him in, and a slow smile spread across his face.

“Zaynie…” he mumbled sleepily.

“Hmm?” Zayn made quietly, brushing his thumb over the soft skin under Niall’s left eye. “Go back to sleep, Ni.”

“G’night” Niall slurred, nuzzling his pillow. “Love you.”

Zayn stood there for a second, stunned, before he smiled softly. It was only Niall talking more or less asleep, but it fell nice nevertheless.

When he turned around, Louis and Harry were standing in the door, watching him with matching smirks on their faces.

Zayn could feel the blush rising in his cheeks and he hissed "What?" at them before squeezing past them to leave Niall's room.

"Just thought that was cute, is all" Harry grinned, following him back to the lounge.

"Nothing special about it" Zayn shrugged. "Niall tells people he loves them all the time."

Zayn thought Liam would get a whiplash from how quickly he turned his head where he was stuffing the pizza boxes into the bin.

"Niall said what?!"

"Told you, it's nothing special" Zayn insisted. "Why're you all making such a big deal out of this?"

"You should've seen his face, Liam" Louis cooed. "Not much of a bad boy after all, that one, huh?"

"Shut up, Louis" Zayn grumbled, wishing he'd checked if he was alone with Niall. It would've been the logical thing to do, since Harry and Louis would be sleeping in Niall's room with him, so they obviously had to go there eventually.

But he hadn't looked, and now this.

“But…” Liam still looked very confused. “Niall told you he loved you?”

“He was telling me goodnight” Zayn clarified. “He said ‘goodnight, love you’ and that’s it. Now can we stop blowing things up unnecessarily? I don’t get your obsession.”

Liam sighed again, much like he had when they were alone earlier. “Zayn…”

“You know, Zayn” Louis said, clapping his small hand down on Zayn’s shoulder. “If you’d just admit that the papers are only predicting what’s inevitably gonna happen anyway…”

“Shut up” Zayn repeated. “You’re all crazy. I’m going to bed.”

He brushed Louis’ hand off him and walked into his bedroom, closing the door even though he knew Liam would follow him any minute anyway. If he hurried he could maybe pretend he was asleep already.

Zayn hated the feeling their words gave him, that strange fluttery and nervous thing in his stomach that spread throughout his whole body until he felt uneasy all over.

He could hear hushed voices in the lounge while he got undressed quickly and pulled the blanket over him just in time before Liam opened the door.

“Zayn?” he heard, but stayed still. “Zayn, come on, I know you’re not asleep.”

There was rustling and then Zayn could feel the bed dip as Liam got in too. He huffed in annoyance.

“Fine, be like that. But you’re gonna have to face this at some point.”

-

**Meeting the “in-laws”?**

**Seems like rumoured couple Niall Horan (16) and Zayn Malik (21) are taking their relationship to the next level, as they were seen out for lunch with Niall’s best friends and X-Factor-co-contestants Louis Tomlinson (18) and Harry Styles (16), as well as a young man who’s been identified as Zayn’s best friend and former manager, Liam Payne (21).**

**Meeting the best friends is a major step in any relationship, but the five lads seem to have had a lot of fun, as other guests of the restaurant are telling us. As a source puts it: “They were all very familiar with each other, making sometimes crude jokes and laughing loudly. Niall and Zayn seemed very close to me, they weren’t sitting next to each other, but there was always some sort of contact between them.”**

**The same thing was confirmed by fans who later met the group outside of the venue Horan was playing one of his last UK shows in. “Zayn was really protective of Niall” an excited fan tells us, showing pictures she took on her phone to support her words. “He got out on the other side of the car but he tried to get to Niall as quickly as he could. He walked right by me, he was really polite but you could see how worried he was. Niall seemed really happy to see him.”**

**“They were talking to each other and it looked as if they were seconds away from kissing” another fan gushes about an intimate moment she witnessed. “I was standing really close to them and they only snapped out of it when that bulky man [Liam Payne, editor’s note] said something to them.”**

**Other fans who met the pair recently have told similar stories about private gestures and cute nicknames the two of them seem to have for each other.**

**Everything seems to be adding up, except for the fact that both young men are still denying the allegations whenever they’re being confronted. How long will they be able to keep this up before the truth comes out?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have i ever told you how much comments and kudos motivate me? ;)  
> i'm a bit worried my updating pace might go down to once a week because i signed up for the ziall fic exchange (which i'm so so excited for!!) and i just got my assignment, so i have to write that one too, but i'll do my best!! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this took so long!! i started my internship this week and it's basically a full-time job so i haven't really had time to write. i'm happy because of all the ziall at the past few shows though, so i'm giving you 5k more :)  
> i'll probably update every weekend from now on.

Liverpool. Zayn looked out of the window as the city came into view, pointing it out to Niall next to him.

"I can't believe this is already the last show before Ireland" Niall sighed. "How quickly has time passed?"

"It's crazy" Zayn agreed.

"Hey" Niall said after a while. "I didn't want to say anything while the others were still there, but did something happen while I was sleeping last night? You all seemed sort of...tense this morning."

Zayn huffed. "Nah, it's nothing to worry about. They just annoyed me a bit."

"Was it about the same thing as yesterday after lunch?" Niall asked carefully.

Zayn looked at him thoughtfully.

"Sort of" he said. "But don't worry about it."

Niall frowned a little at that but let it be, turning to his phone. Zayn was relieved. He really didn't want to discuss the reasons for his behaviour towards the others with Niall, at least not when they still had about two weeks of touring ahead of them, plus a week at Niall’s home.

Maybe he'd tell him when they were back home, where Niall would have enough time to look for a new bodyguard, one who wouldn't be so stupid and attached.

He sighed quietly. It'd hurt losing Niall's friendship, but that's what he got for letting things go this far. He had his reasons for not letting people in, and he should've just stuck with it.

Niall pulled him out of his miserable thoughts when he chuckled at something on his phone.

"Hm?" Zayn made.

"I'm just reading some of the new articles about us" Niall explained, laughter still lacing his voice. "Apparently we took our relationship a step further by introducing each other to our respective friends."

"Good journalism" Zayn said sarcastically, "when literally the first pictures of us together were taken when we were out with exactly these friends. Or two of them at least."

Niall laughed. "Right, I didn't even think of that. Makes it even better."

They reached the hotel shortly after that and went up to their suite together to chill a bit before they headed off to the venue, which basically meant a snack for Niall and a quick smoke on the balcony for Zayn.

"I thought you hated the smell of cigarettes" Zayn said when Niall sat down on one of the chairs on the balcony, propping his legs up on the railing.

Zayn himself was sitting on said balustrade, feet on the other chair, taking slow drags from his fag.

Niall shrugged carelessly, chewing on the sandwich he'd brought outside with him. "We're outside, I barely smell it."

Zayn watched him, thinking about how much this sweet, fragile boy had already reached, and how much more he would definitely reach in the future.

He was so humble and _normal_ , but Zayn knew he had a long way to go. He smiled at the thought that tonight might be the basis for that.

"What you smiling at?" Niall asked, and Zayn refocused on his surroundings.

"Nothing. Or well, something, but you'll understand later."

"What?" Niall frowned. "You're not making sense."

"You'll understand later" Zayn only repeated cryptically, getting up and brushing some ash off his trousers before he headed back inside.

Niall followed him, stumbling over the step between the balcony and the lounge.

"Zayn" he whined. "What does that mean? What are you talking about?"

"Patience, Nialler" Zayn laughed. "I'm not telling."

"Wow, you're really mean" Niall pouted and Zayn went over to poke his cheek.

"You'll forgive me soon enough."

"Stop teasing me!" Niall exclaimed. "Dropping hints like that really isn't fair."

Zayn just laughed and shut the bathroom door behind himself.

He'd only known about the surprise for Niall for about two days and it had been very hard keeping it from him, but the thought of Niall's face when he found out made him keep quiet.

Fixing his hair in front of the mirror, Zayn thought about how he was happiest when Niall was happy, and how weird that was. How could someone else's smile make _him_ smile, no matter what mood he'd been in?

Niall had some crazy power over him, and Zayn thought he really ought to get his own mind back. He'd never been the kind of person to be this dependant on someone else. Except maybe for Liam, but even that was different somehow.

"What's taking you so long in there?" Niall hollered outside of the bathroom. "We're gonna be late because you're obsessed with your bloody hair."

"Says you who gets his hair fixed by a professional" Zayn yelled back and he could hear Niall's answering laugh from somewhere in their suite.

He smiled and then shook his head at himself in the mirror. He looked like a bloody idiot.

Sighing, he splashed some water in his face and went to get Niall to the venue.

-

As it turned out, that wasn't as easy as they'd anticipated, because as soon as they stepped out of the hotel, they were swarmed by paps and fans alike, and many of them.

"What-?" Zayn made and cursed himself for not checking the exit beforehand. He could've easily done so, but he'd somehow gotten lazy because it had _never_ been necessary before. There'd never been more than a handful of people in front of their hotels, if at all.

"Stay close to me" Zayn said, grabbing Niall's arm just above his elbow.

The blond nodded, looking intimidated, but still smiling at the girls asking him to sign things or for a photo.

Making their way to where the car was supposed to be waiting for them was hard work, especially for Zayn, who had to keep tabs on Niall, find the quickest and most polite way out for them _and_ try to keep everyone at least a foot away from Niall.

On top of that, he could _feel_ that Niall was nervous, and that didn't exactly make it easier for him to remain calm around all these pushy people wanting to touch the boy. The last thing he needed was Niall panicking in the middle of this crowd while he was all on his own.

He briefly considered calling the other two members of Niall's security team, but that'd probably only make things worse, since they were already too far into the crowd.

So he stuck to his polite but insistent strategy that got them moving slowly, but surely.

Niall was constantly touching him, holding on to his arm or clinging to the back of his shirt and it gave Zayn some sort of reassurance and the possibility of concentrating on getting them out. So when Niall's hand disappeared suddenly, Zayn immediately panicked, spinning around to look for the younger boy.

Niall was only a step away, but he'd let go of Zayn to take a selfie with a few fans.

Zayn took a deep breath and tried to relax. He shouldn’t be this stressed because he’d lost track of Niall for one second, that was unprofessional.

This was his job, nothing else. Getting Niall out of here safely was what he got paid for.

Either way, he grabbed Niall's arm again once the picture was taken, pulling him closer.

"Don't wanna lose you in the crowd" he muttered in explanation when Niall looked at him wide-eyed.

"Should I hold on to you again, then?" Niall suggested.

"Yeah" Zayn shrugged. "That's probably best."

Niall bunched the back of Zayn's shirt with his hand again, but Zayn felt immediately reassured and pushed forward anew.

They were out within a couple of minutes and Zayn got Niall into the waiting car safely, trying to stop his fingers from trembling before he got in too. He wasn't sure why he was this shaken up, but he supposed it was because it had been so unexpected and he had felt thoroughly unprepared for such a situation, especially alone. He vowed to always check every exit from now on.

"You okay?" Niall asked when Zayn shut the car door behind himself.

"Are you?" Zayn asked back.

"'Course, you made sure of that" Niall smiled.

Zayn grimaced. "No, I got you into that situation in the first place."

"What are you talking about?" Niall frowned. "Do you think this was your fault? Cause it wasn't, Zayn, it wasn't."

"Well, it's my job to keep you away from these exact situations and I obviously failed today."

"Nah, I didn't see them either, and no one from the hotel warned us. Don't blame yourself, really. And it wasn't that bad, I wasn't scared with you by my side."

"Why does this keep happening?" Zayn groaned, rubbing his eyes. "Will we ever be able to go somewhere without getting mobbed again? I'm gonna have to get an addition to the security team if it stays this way."

"Someone who's with me all the time? Like you?"

"Yeah, so that I'm not alone in situations like this."

"But I don't want anyone else" Niall frowned.

"Well, you didn't want me either if I may remind you" Zayn chuckled.

Niall just huffed.

"Don't get so upset about this yet, it's not like I'm the one making decisions anyway. They could just as well station one of the guys at the hotel instead of the venue. I get that you don’t want one more person invading your privacy."

“I don’t feel like you’re invading anything” Niall said, and he still sounded a bit upset. “And that’s not what I’m worried about. I just – isn’t what we have now nice? Just us two, I mean. Someone else would mess up our dynamics.”

Zayn laughed. “You’re so cute, Niall, honestly. And yeah, I like it the way it is too, but we have to think about what’s necessary. Let’s not cross that road before we get there though, okay?”

He chucked Niall under the chin in the affectionate gesture he’d somehow formed a habit of and allowed himself to admire the blush that had spread across his pale cheeks for a second.

When he turned away from Niall again he suddenly remembered what else was planned today and had trouble keeping a grin of his face. It would be a busy day for Niall.

-

“Are you kidding me?” Niall whisper-yelled, his eyes wide. “I can’t go in there, I’m gonna faint!”

“You’re not gonna faint, Niall” Zayn laughed, gripping his shoulders. “You’re gonna go in there and treat him like any other person.”

“But it’s _Ed Sheeran_!”

“Like any other person” Zayn repeated.

“How did you keep this from me? How long have you known? Who arranged this and can I kiss that person?”

“I haven’t known for long and I’m not sure who arranged it” Zayn sighed, still holding Niall by his shoulders. “I think Ed contacted someone from management, or maybe Claire. Her you can definitely kiss.”

"I'd rather not, think she might knock me over the head if I tried" Niall laughed and Zayn chuckled at him.

"Kiss Ed then, if you can't contain it."

"Jesus, no! That'd be mortifying, I'm not gonna kiss anyone, I don't _wanna_ kiss anyone. Or not, like -"

"Gotcha" Zayn interrupted him because Niall was suddenly blushing furiously and they were also keeping an international superstar waiting. "Now get in there, will you?"

"You're coming with me, right?"

"I don't think you're gonna need a bodyguard to meet Ed Sheeran, Niall" Zayn chuckled.

"Not as my bodyguard, you twat. As my, dunno, moral support, friend, whatever."

"You just need someone to keep you from kissing him, admit it" Zayn teased, but started moving towards the door anyway.

"Shut up."

-

Niall didn't end up kissing anyone in the room, he did, however, look as if he was about to faint when Ed asked him if he wanted to support him on his European tour the coming year.

"Are you serious?" he breathed and Zayn took a cautious step forward, wrapping an arm around Niall's waist, halfway in support and halfway in a congratulatory hug.

"Completely" Ed assured Niall, his eyes shifting towards Zayn. "So you're the famous bodyguard, then?"

"I'm the bodyguard, yeah" Zayn confirmed. "Not sure about the famous part though."

"Well, you're pretty much always mentioned when Niall is, so I reckon that's revived your fame plenty."

"Maybe" Zayn grinned, before he turned to Niall, squeezing his hip lightly. "Ni? You back among the living?"

"Barely" Niall replied, looking dazed. "Was that an honest offer? You're not taking the piss?"

"Honestly. I'm starting my tour in less than six months and I haven't got a support act yet, but I think you'd be a good match, don't you think?"

"Yeah, yeah, that'd be sick" Niall hurriedly agreed, his eyes lighting up.

"Great!" Ed smiled, reaching out to shake Niall's hand. "I mean, obviously our managements will have to sort out the details but I don't see why this shouldn't work."

"Thank you" Niall said. "Thank you so much for this opportunity. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"I consider myself rather lucky, actually. If I hadn't asked you, someone else would've before too long. You're too talented to go unnoticed."

Niall beamed at him and then at Zayn who tightened his hold on him with a proud grin, only now realising that he actually hadn't let go of Niall.

"Only one question before I go and watch you perform" Ed said, his eyes flicking down to Zayn's hand on Niall's hip. "The rumours...are they true?"

Niall shook his head but wrapped his arm around Zayn's waist anyway. "Nah, just friends, us."

Zayn was thankful for his acting experience, because he had to admit it stung every time Niall emphasised they were nothing but mates.

Which they were. Except for that stupid big crush Zayn was harbouring and just couldn't seem to get rid of.

-

After the show Ed came by once more and Niall blushed and giggled every time he complimented him, so Zayn had to get away from them after a while.

He was so proud of Niall and that combined with him being unbearably cute made Zayn want to kiss him so badly he didn't really trust his reason to keep him from doing so.

Lou found him on one of the sofas they had backstage a while later.

"Cheer up, buttercup" she said, nudging him. "What's got you sulking like this?"

"'m not sulking" Zayn mumbled, completely ruining his credibility with his pout.

“Maybe not sulking per se, but you’ve been alternating between staring at Niall and pouting at nothing, so I figured you were sulking about something he did or didn’t do.”

Zayn stared at her. “I didn’t – I wasn’t…it’s got nothing to do…what are you talking about?”

“You should stop thinking so much, darling” Lou continued as if he hadn’t said anything. “I’m pretty sure Niall has felt this way for even longer than you.”

“What- which way?”

“The same way you do, of course.”

“But – Lou, I’m not even sure what I feel anymore.”

“Oh love” she sighed, patting his knee when Zayn buried his face in his hands, rubbing at his tired eyes. “Maybe you should figure that out first.”

-

That night in his too-big hotel bed, Zayn had trouble falling asleep. Lou’s words wouldn’t leave his head, making him feel uneasy. She was probably right, maybe he should “figure it out”, but that was something he’d banned to the furthest corners of his mind so far, afraid what he would find.

There was a noise and Zayn rolled over heavily, seeing his door was opened a crack, a sliver of light illuminating the slight figure of the person standing there.

“Niall” he croaked.

“Sorry” Niall whispered. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“It’s alright” he said, sitting up. “I wasn’t asleep yet anyway. What’s wrong?”

“Just…no, this is stupid, I’m just gonna go back to bed.”

“No, Niall, wait!” Zayn called after him, lowering his voice again when Niall turned around once more. “What is it? Can’t sleep either?”

Niall shrugged helplessly. “Been a long day.”

“Feels like it at least” Zayn agreed, scooting over on the bed and patting the space beside him. “Wanna crash here tonight?”

Niall’s shoulders sagged as he relaxed, visible against the light still shining in from outside of Zayn’s room. “If that’s okay?”

“Wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t” Zayn smiled, turning on the bedside lamp so Niall could close the door behind him. “C’mere.”

To Zayn’s surprise, Niall didn’t just climb into his bed, he sidled up to him right away and cuddled into his side like a kitten, letting out a content sigh.

“Thanks, Zaynie” he murmured into Zayn’s neck.

Zayn hummed and turned onto his side so their bodies fit together more comfortably. If Niall could, so could he, Zayn decided and draped his arm over Niall’s body instead of awkwardly resting it on his own side.

“Night, Ni.”

-

When they were on the plane to Dublin, waiting for it to take off, Zayn still hadn’t asked about the night before. Or that morning, where he’d woken up to an empty bed, Niall already showered and ready, for that matter.

On one hand, he really wanted to know why Niall had gotten up so unusually early without waking him up too, on the other hand he was worried it’d lead to a very awkward conversation about morning wood. This way, at least he could pretend Niall hadn’t noticed anything.

He felt more than a bit awkward, so awkward actually that he completely forgot he wasn’t exactly comfortable with flying. Until the plane started rolling towards the runway and his nerves kicked in full-force.

“Everything okay?” Niall asked, glancing over when the pace of Zayn’s breathing suddenly changed noticeably.

“I’m…um, sort of a bad flyer” Zayn admitted.

“What?” Niall frowned. “Didn’t you have to fly to matches all the time?”

“A couple” Zayn shrugged. “But we went by train if possible and the few times I’ve been on planes haven’t really helped to calm me down.”

His grip on the armrests tightened when the plane picked up speed, the motors roaring.

“Does it help if I hold your hand?” Niall offered, holding out a hand as an invitation. “You know, something to hold on to other than that innocent armrest.”

Zayn didn’t say anything but let go of one armrest, grabbing Niall’s hand instead. He felt foolish for being so scared, but Niall didn’t tease him or make fun of him. Instead, he started telling him random stories about his family that Zayn probably wouldn’t remember later on but distracted him for the moment.

Niall didn’t even wince when Zayn’s grip tightened the moment the plane took off, he just kept talking in a steady voice until they were up in the air and the plane stopped moving so jerkily.

“Thanks” Zayn said, carefully letting go of Niall’s hand and moving his fingers. “And I’m really sorry.”

“Nah, it’s alright man, don’t worry” Niall chuckled. “These small planes are a bit scary sometimes.”

"Yeah. Still, this probably isn't the first story we should tell your parents. They'll think I'm unfit for the job."

"Believe me, Zayn, it's a little late for that. I've told them too much about you and they've seen plenty of you personally over Skype. No possibility of false expectations here anymore."

Zayn chuckled. "Okay, you've got a point there. I do still feel a bit awkward about the whole thing though. Are you really sure it's okay for me to be coming along already? The rest of the crew isn't coming until the Ireland shows start off either after all."

"Zayn" Niall sighed a little. "I've told you before, you're not the rest of the crew. You're coming along as my friend, not my bodyguard. You're coming because I wanted you to."

Zayn smiled a little at that. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Mum says they're all really excited to finally meet you in person."

"So am I, feels a bit like 'meeting the in-laws' for real this time. You know, wanting to have their approval and stuff, that I'm worth of being your bodyguard."

Niall grinned. "Gosh, it really is like that, isn't it? Imagine the frenzy if someone found out you're coming with me."

"The press hasn't been alerted or anything, so I'm hoping we'll be left alone at the airport" Zayn said. "If everything goes according to plan, no one will even notice we've landed."

-

"Ah, you're the one they're waiting for" the officer at passport control said, looking at Niall's passport.

"Waiting? Who?" Niall asked and Zayn behind him took an alarmed step forward, against everything the signs were telling him.

"All the girls out there, and the paparazzi, of course" the man shrugged, narrowing his eyes at Zayn who had come even closer. "Aren't you used to that?"

"Not exactly" Niall mumbled, turning to Zayn with furrowed brows.

"Is there any other way we can get out of here?" Zayn asked.

"No, sir, sorry. You have to take the usual exit."

"Seriously?" He had trouble believing there wasn't a less public exit anywhere. "We can pay if that's what's needed here to get a private exit."

"That won't be necessary, sir" the man insisted and Zayn let out a frustrated sound.

"Do you know how many people there are?"

"Few dozen, maybe."

"A few _dozen_?" Zayn repeated. "Look, sir, the rest of the security team didn't travel with us, it's just me -"

"What are you worrying about? There's airport security everywhere, if things get out of hand they'll gladly help. _If_."

Zayn sighed dejectedly and let the officer check his passport before he and Niall were waved through to baggage claim.

"Alright" Zayn said. "I have no idea how this could've happened, but we have to deal with it. Ni, keep your snapback on, pull it down a bit so your face won't be that visible."

He adjusted Niall's hat himself too before pulling up his own hood.

"We're gonna grab our backpacks now and then we're gonna go out there trying to look as normal as usual, okay? If we're lucky they won't look too closely."

He knew that was a feeble hope, if these people had come to see Niall they'd look closely at everyone who looked even a little bit like him. But it was the only hope they had.

Zayn was relieved they only had a backpack each, the rest of their stuff would arrive with the rest of the crew the week after. He didn't wanna have to deal with luggage too.

"What do you think it's gonna be like?" Niall asked quietly when they waited for their bags to arrive.

Zayn sighed and slung an arm around Niall's shoulder, hugging him to his chest for a moment. "I don't know, to be honest. I hope a few dozen aren't as many as it sounds like, and I hope they'll be calm. Either way, it might get scary and I need you to hold on to me like in front of the hotel again, okay? I don't want to lose you but I'll probably need my hands."

"Okay" Niall nodded. "I trust you."

His eyes were so big and blue when he looked up and Zayn really only wanted to kiss him and take him somewhere safe.

Swallowing thickly, he just brushed his knuckles across the boy's cheek lightly and turned away to grab their backpacks.

"Zayn" Niall said when they walked towards the exit a few minutes later, grabbing Zayn's upper arm and slowing him down. "Do you hear that?"

Zayn immediately knew what he meant, the hum of people, many of them, talking in the distance was very audible.

"An airport isn't exactly a quiet place anyway. Don't worry, Niall, I'm gonna get you out of here safely. I promise."

"I know" Niall smiled, but his grip on Zayn's arm tightened.

When they rounded the last corner to the arrivals hall, Zayn let out a quiet groan and angled his body in a way he hoped he was shielding Niall.

"A few dozen" had apparently turned into hundreds of people, girls with phones and cameras and posters to sign, and surprisingly many grown men with cameras. Paps.

There were banners saying things like "Welcome home, Niall!" and it would've been very sweet if the sheer mass of people hadn't been so terrifying.

Obviously, there was no chance of escape and they were recognised almost immediately.

The voices turned into screams and Niall's grip on Zayn's arm was almost painful now, but he was still smiling bravely.

It was bearable at first, Zayn was able to keep a bit of space around them since Niall's fans seemed to be rather understanding when it came to his claustrophobia and tried to give them as much room as possible.

Zayn wasn't sure how it happened, but he felt the change in the dynamics of the crowd immediately. Everything seemed to get much less cheery somehow, smiles slipping off faces and turning into frowns as the pushing increased.

The girls around them looked very worried suddenly and Zayn could see they were doing their best to stand their ground, to not tumble right into Zayn and Niall, and Zayn loved them for it, but it was obvious they wouldn't hold out long.

He had no idea where the pushing came from, and Zayn did his best to keep them moving, to get them out of there as quickly as possible.

Eventually, he noticed that the only ones really moving along except for them seemed to be the paps, and it all started to make sense. If those men shoved girls away to get closer, it really wasn't surprising at all that the demeanour of the crowd had changed entirely.

Niall had stopped signing things shoved at him early on so they could move more quickly, and he was pressed closely to Zayn's back, his hand tightly around Zayn's upper arm. Zayn could feel his breath against the back of his neck, and he could pinpoint the exact moment it became faster.

"Zayn" he whispered and Zayn wasn't even sure it was a conscious thing, but he immediately pulled Niall in front of him anyway, wrapping his arm around his waist but keeping one arm free to be able to make way for them.

Niall wrapped both of his arms around Zayn's middle, burying his face in his neck. It wasn't exactly easier moving like that, but there was no way to walk quickly anyway, so Zayn figured it was best to make Niall feel as safe as possible at least.

There were people everywhere, bodies pressing against them from all sides, and so much _noise_ that Zayn felt uncomfortable. He didn't want to imagine what it was like for Niall.

Niall let out a small choked off sound that made Zayn's heart break and he tightened his hold on him.

"Shh, it's alright Ni, I've got you. I've got you, baby, I'll get you out of here" he whispered into his ear.

At this point, Niall was clinging to him and Zayn was more or less carrying him, trying to keep him from having a proper panic attack.

"I'm gonna die" Niall whispered. "We're gonna die."

"No we're not" Zayn objected with surety. "We're almost out, Niall, don't worry, okay? It's alright."

Niall's dead weight in his arms, his ragged breathing against his neck and the slow pace they were moving at made Zayn feel completely and utterly helpless. Where was the airport security the passport officer had talked about? Why was nobody helping them? Who had announced they were arriving in the first place?

They hadn't said anything on purpose, so people would assume Niall would arrive in Ireland together with the rest of his team, the following week.

And still, somehow word had gotten out soon enough for all these people to gather here and mob them.

Zayn wanted to yell at something or someone, but he had to keep it together for the scared boy in his arms.

Another few minutes passed and then they were finally outside, the view clearing enough for Zayn to catch a glimpse of the driver that was waiting for them.

He lifted one arm to signal at the man holding a sign with their names on it, and his eyes widened as he took in their situation.

Before Zayn knew it, he was clearing a path for them, coming to help Zayn with Niall. Zayn thanked him breathlessly and wished again he'd had someone with him earlier.

Zayn helped Niall, who was still shaking uncontrollably, into the back of the car and got in next to him. He fastened his seatbelt for him and then scooted closer to him, pulling him into his chest.

"It's okay" he murmured into Niall's hair. "We're safe, everything's fine."

He kept rubbing Niall's back and whispering soothing things to him while the driver started the car and drove off, throwing worried glances at them through the rear view mirror every now and then, until the boy's breathing slowed down and the shaking stopped.

Zayn rested his head on top of the blond one and breathed in Niall's scent.

Niall made little snuffling sounds in his sleep and fit under Zayn's chin like he was made to sleep that way.

And suddenly, everything made sense to Zayn. He didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed it for so long, or how he’d managed to deny it in front of everyone including himself so fervently that he’d believed it.

His eyes closed, Zayn thought there really was no denying it anymore. This wasn't a crush or a little infatuation.

He was in love with Niall.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this took so long, but i'm still busy with my internship and then i moved into my new apartment yesterday, so finding time to write is a bit difficult lately :(   
> this chapter is in niall's pov again, i hope you like it :)

"I just saw it on TV, are you alright?"

Niall could hear his mother's worried voice through the phone pressed to Zayn's ear and he shut his eyes again, not wanting Zayn to take his arm away from around him.

"I got him out of there" Zayn said and Niall could hear the relief in his voice. "He's a bit shaken up, but asleep now."

Niall made a point to keep his breathing steady so Zayn wouldn't notice he'd woken up when the phone rang.

"It looked terrifying even from the outside" his mum's voice said. "I'm so glad you were there."

"Well, it's my job" Zayn replied, obviously feeling awkward. "But I'm glad too. It's never been this bad."

"You did good though. I've only seen the shaky recordings on telly, but everyone could see that you did your best to keep him safe, and that Niall trusts you. It gives me a better feeling about not being there for him at all times."

"You're already doing everything you can, and I'm doing my part. All I want is for Niall to be happy and safe."

Niall's heart nearly jumped out of his chest at that and he tried to concentrate on the task of keeping his breathing more calm than he felt. He hated it when Zayn said things like that, mainly because he loved it so much. Loved _him_ so much, maybe even, but that was something Niall tried not to think about too much. It usually only made him sad.

"How long until you're here?" his mum's voice brought Niall back to the present.

"Apparently about an hour" Zayn answered. "At least that's what the driver said when I asked him a few minutes ago."

"Alright, be safe, then. I can't wait to finally meet you in person, Zayn."

"I'm looking forward to meeting you too" Zayn gave back and Niall smiled faintly, remembering Zayn's nerves about exactly that on the plane earlier. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Niall tried to fall back asleep when Zayn started quietly chatting with the driver, but as much as he liked being this close to Zayn, a car probably wasn't the best place to sleep in someone's arms. His back started aching and his legs felt kind of uncomfortable too.

So he tried to make it seem as if he was just waking up and slowly sat up straight.

"How are you feeling?" Zayn immediately asked, looking worried.

"Much better" Niall said, blushing when he thought about his earlier behaviour. "I'm so sorry for being absolutely useless earlier, I...I was terrible out there."

"No, don't be stupid, Ni" Zayn protested. "It made sense for you to react that way, I'm just really mad that we were kind of left on our own. I have no idea how people even knew we were coming, and I'm angry that no one seemed to think it necessary to help us. Instead, they showed everything on the telly right away. It all kind of seems like a setup to me."

"D'you think?"

"I don't know." Zayn sighed deeply, rubbing at his eyes. He looked exhausted.

"Thank you" Niall said quietly. "I would've never made it without you today."

"I'm glad I was there too. It was terrifying."

"I feel like I just ran a marathon, and yet I didn't even do anything. I even let you carry me." The more he thought about it, the more embarrassed he got. It probably wasn't very manly or attractive to have a panic attack.

"Honestly, stop worrying, Niall. I'm not angry or disappointed or whatever else you seem to think. Claustrophobia is something many people suffer from, and it shouldn't be taken too lightly. The only people I'm angry at are the ones who started the pushing."

"Okay" Niall said quietly and leaned his head against Zayn's shoulder. "It's sad cause I think the plan was to sort of welcome me home, but that didn't really work out, did it?"

"Not really" Zayn chuckled dryly, jostling Niall's head. "But that's over now, so let's try and forget about it at least for today, alright? We're gonna be at your mum's in a bit."

"Oh, by the way" Niall suddenly remembered. "I forgot to ask you earlier, but my mum wanted to know if you'd like to sleep on the sofa or in the guest bedroom with me. She has one for when Greg and I used to visit her, or other relatives, but it's only a double bed."

The question suddenly brought back the previous night, or the morning rather, where he'd woken up with Zayn's arms around him and cuddled into his side, and he'd thought how he'd never been so comfortable before.

And how he'd looked up then, watching how soft Zayn's expression was in his sleep, lips pursed slightly, how he had to get up and leave the room to keep himself from kissing them.

It was shit, really, feeling this way about someone who he literally spent all of his time with but couldn't find out about it.

Niall suspected he was really bad at hiding it sometimes.

"Oh" Zayn said. "I don't know. I don't want to cause your mum any trouble, what do you think?"

"Well" Niall said, and wondered if what he was doing was a good idea or a very, very bad one. "Effort-wise I think it'd probably be easier for my mum of we shared. And it's just one night, after all."

Zayn nodded. "Yeah, sure, I don't mind sharing."

Niall seriously hoped he wouldn't either.

-

The first five minutes after their arrival were a blur of hugs and kisses and concerned questions for Niall, his sleepy mind having trouble keeping up.

Zayn seemed a bit overwhelmed too when Maura hugged him and kissed him on both cheeks, thanking him over and over again.

"Mam, don't worry. I'm fine and I missed you too. You're scaring Zayn" he finally interrupted one of her rants, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Am I? Oh, I'm so sorry, love! It's just that I was so worried and I haven't seen my baby in so long -"

"Mum" Niall interrupted her again, blushing because she seemed to think it okay to call him 'baby' in front of Zayn.

"Right, you must be tired" Maura said with a small chuckle. Niall thought she probably knew exactly what was going on in his mind. "Or are you hungry?"

"Mum, let's just sit down first, okay?"

"Of course, darling. Zayn, do you drink tea?"

-

If Niall had thought it was bad when his mum and Zayn were awkward around each other, it was far worse when they got along swimmingly.

He didn't know when and how it had happened, but suddenly they were talking and laughing as if they'd known each other forever, trading embarrassing stories about Niall.

When his mum started looking for old pictures of him, Niall excused himself for a while. This whole thing felt entirely too much like introducing his boyfriend to his mother. Which would have undoubtedly made it just as embarrassing, but probably still a lot more enjoyable.

As it was, though, Zayn wasn't interested in him that way. Sometimes he'd gotten his hopes up over something small Zayn had done or said, but then he got reminded of the fact that Zayn thought of him as a child and was most likely in love with Liam.

It was a hopeless situation, and yet Niall couldn't help but fall more and more in love with him every day.

Physical attraction might've been the first step, but the more of Zayn's layers he found, the more fascinating he became. There was so much about Zayn that was just so loveable and Niall kept wanting to find out even more.

He knew it was kind of a stupid thing to do, trying to get closer to Zayn, it would probably be better to get away from him a little, since right now, it felt as if he’d never stop falling for him.

It was pathetic, and he felt pathetic sometimes.

It’d been especially bad the day he’d lost his temper over the age thing and had, for a second, thought that Zayn had figured it all out. He was embarrassed about it, and he wasn’t sure if it was more because of his childish outburst or the fact that Zayn had almost found out.

The worst had been that time he’d walked in on Zayn and Liam and it had made him feel like absolute shit seeing them hugging like that. They hadn’t even talked, and that was probably the intimate thing about it. They’d just held each other, and Niall had felt the jealousy cursing through his body but he couldn’t hate Liam or Zayn or anyone for it. Liam was so nice and probably straight anyway, and how could he blame Zayn for falling for someone who didn’t feel the same way? That’d be hypocritical.

Besides, it wasn’t as if he’d ever have a chance with someone like Zayn anyway, who could probably pick from millions of willing guys _and_ girls.

So he’d shoved it all to the back of his mind and concentrated on his show. And if he’d been even quicker to cuddle into Zayn’s side that evening on the sofa, no one had to know.

-

"So about the sleeping arrangements" Maura said over dinner later that day. "I've only prepared the guest bedroom so far, but if either of you are uncomfortable with that I can do the couch later too."

Niall and Zayn exchanged a brief glance and then Niall shrugged and Zayn said: "It's alright, we can share."

"Fine then, makes it easier for me" Maura chuckled. "It's only for one night anyway, there's plenty of rooms at Niall's dad's house."

"When she says plenty she means mine and Greg's" Niall explained. "So it's gonna get a bit cramped when the boys come over for my birthday. You're coming too, right mum?"

"Of course, wouldn't miss my baby turning 17."

"I'm not a baby, mum" Niall muttered, embarrassed.

"You're always gonna be my baby, that's the burden of the youngest" his mum said, patting his cheek. "Have you got any siblings, Zayn?"

"I've actually got three sisters. Only one of them is older than me though."

"Three! You're four kids at home?"

"Yep, big family."

"I've always wanted a big family, but it just wasn't supposed to be" Maura sighed wistfully. "Now I'm counting on my kids for a big bunch of grandchildren. Who knows, maybe Greg will marry Denise one day and have a couple of kids with her, or Niall might adopt a few..."

"Mum, I'm sixteen" Niall reminded her. "I wouldn't have to worry about that even if there was someone who wanted kids with me."

"Oh, you'll find someone eventually, don't you worry, darling. Who knows, he might be just around the corner already." Her glance at Zayn was so unsubtle that Niall wanted to cry.

"Muuuuum" he whined. "You're embarrassing me."

"I'm sorry, I just think you two would -"

"Mum, stop. We're not going there."

"Okay, sorry" Maura said, seemingly hearing the urgency in Niall's voice. "I'm gonna fetch dessert, alright? Sorry."

"It's okay" Niall mumbled and let her drop a kiss to the top of his head.

When she'd left the room, he finally dared to look over at Zayn. The older boy was looking down at his hands and seemed to want to disappear. Niall couldn't blame him.

"I'm so sorry" he winced. "This is what I was afraid of, I think I told you about it before. I dunno where she's getting it from, and I don't understand why she brought it up. I...I get how uncomfortable that must make you feel, I'd feel the same if someone made these accusations. It must be hard enough having all of these strangers assume that I'm more than I am to you and then even my mum..."

"What? Niall, it's not about that. What people assume about us isn't making me feel uncomfortable at all...I -"

He stopped talking abruptly when Niall's mum appeared in the doorway carrying a cake, leaving Niall feeling strangely nervous and confused.

The feeling wouldn't leave all evening.

-

When Niall woke up the next morning, it was Zayn who'd already left the bed.

They'd gone to bed late enough the previous evening to fall asleep straight away, avoiding finishing their interrupted talk.

Niall assumed the reason Zayn had already gotten up was a similar one.

He sighed and got out of bed to trudge towards the kitchen.

"Good morning, sunshine" his mum greeted him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Morning" he mumbled back, not really awake yet. "Yeh, thanks."

"Zayn's in the shower" Maura said without being prompted. "Wanna tell me how long you've been in love with him?"

Niall spluttered and nearly choked on the toast he'd just taken a bite of.

"What? How -? Mum!"

"I'm your mum, Niall. I know you, and I can read you. I'm not blind. So?"

"I don't know" Niall sighed, defeated. His mum knew him and he knew her. He didn’t even have to try denying it. "A while, I guess. It just somehow happened along the way."

"I can see why" Maura smiled. "He's good for you, sweetheart."

"Yeah but mum. He doesn't see me that way."

"What makes you think that?"

"I don't know...I just don't think he does."

"Well you can't be sure until you ask, can you?"

"And risk what we have? No, thanks."

His mum sighed. "I don't think it's as hopeless as you make it out to be though. You know what, maybe you should watch the bit about you from yesterday’s local news."

"Good morning" Zayn's voice sounded from the doorway that exact moment and Niall and his mum both jumped a bit and turned around.

Maura caught herself first.

"Good morning, my love" she smiled and Niall finally managed to muster up a smile too. He hoped Zayn hadn't heard anything.

He seemed normal though when he asked: "Sorry, did I interrupt you?"

"Nah" Niall shook his head.

"I was just telling Niall I recorded last night’s news and you should look at the report about your arrival."

“Do you want to?” Zayn asked Niall. “Do you feel up to reliving it?”

“It’ll be alright, it’s only a recording after all. But don’t you wanna have breakfast first?”

-

Rewatching the events of the previous day turned out to be much harder than anticipated and ended with Niall in Zayn’s arms while his mum brought him tea and biscuits to help calm him down.

The recordings were shaky and the flashes and the noise were so similar to what it had been like in the middle of that pushing crowd that it transported Niall straight back there and he suddenly felt like he was suffocating once again.

His mum had kissed the top of his head and ordered Zayn to hold him while she made tea and that was how Niall ended up practically in Zayn’s lap once again. Which was probably the nicest thing he got out of the whole situation.

“I didn’t know it’d be this hard for you” Maura apologised later. “It must’ve been such a horrible experience for you.”

Niall nodded, carding a hand through his hair. “It kind of was.”

“I wouldn’t have made you watch it if I’d known you’d react this way.”

“I know you wouldn’t, mum, don’t worry. I’m alright. The biscuits definitely helped” he added with a grin, earning a chuckle from both his mum and Zayn. A bit sheepishly, he turned towards the latter. “I didn’t even know you literally had to carry me out of there…I’m sorry, that must’ve been hard.”

“Don’t apologise for something that’s not your fault, Ni” Zayn said seriously. “Yeah, it was hard, I’m not gonna deny that, but you didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t feel bad about it.”

“Okay, if you say so” Niall smiled, leaning into Zayn as he kissed his temple gently and tried not to blush when he saw his mum watching them fondly from the doorway.

-

**Niall Horan gets problematic welcome home**

**Recently risen to fame, Irish-born pop star Niall Horan (16) has just arrived back in his home country for his promotion tour, but the welcome he got at the airport seems to have gotten slightly out of hand.**

**His and bodyguard (and rumoured boyfriend) Zayn Malik’s arrival at Dublin airport had been announced through different sources, including fans that’d spotted the pair at the John-Lennon-Airport in Liverpool earlier that day, causing hundreds of fans to gather in the arrival hall of the airport.**

**Apparently things got slightly out of hand when photographers started pushing through the crowd to get closer to the X-Factor runner-up and his bodyguard/possible boyfriend, as fans told us.**

**Plenty of pictures and videos that have appeared all over the internet since the first minutes after their arrival show how the two young men arrived at the airport looking rather cosy while waiting for their bags before heading out to meet the crowd.**

**What started as a nice welcome home for the Irish star soon turned into a mobbing that seemed to get to Horan, who has talked about being claustrophobic before.**

**We feel very sorry for him, but we can't help noticing how heart-warming it was to see Malik (21) take care of him, more or less carrying Horan to the taxi waiting for them.**

**Taking into account that the pair seem to be the only ones from Horan's tour team to have arrived in Ireland a week before the shows continue, this episode doesn't exactly disprove the relationship rumours the pair have always been so quick to deny.**

-

"I'll see you on your birthday" Niall's mum said when she hugged him goodbye later that day. "And - I wanted to wait with telling you, but I might just as well do it now. Do you remember how I moved to London right after the divorce from your dad for a couple of years?" Niall nodded. "I've asked to relocate again. Which means I'm going to be working and living in London again in a couple of months."

"You're gonna be living close to me again?" Niall clarified and when his mum nodded, he hugged her more tightly.

"You're okay with it then?"

"More than okay, mum. I'm very happy about it."

Maura smiled. "Well, good. I'm glad you don't wanna get rid of your old mum too quickly."

Niall grinned and kissed her cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart. Take care."

She hugged Zayn goodbye too and Niall could swear she said something to him because Zayn blushed and whispered something back that caused Maura to tighten her hug.

When he asked Zayn about it in the car later, the older boy only told him it was nothing he should worry about, and Niall thought he'd heard that excuse far too often lately.

-

The drive to Niall's dad's wasn't too long and they arrived within an hour.

Niall hadn't seen his dad in even longer than his mum and he was out of the car and at the front door within seconds. Apparently his dad had been waiting too, because the door was yanked open before he could ring.

"Nialler!" his dad exclaimed and opened his arms wide enough for Niall to jump and hug him tightly, just like he used to as a kid.

"Oof" Bobby made and laughed. "You've grown a bit, haven't ya?"

“I reckon I have” Niall laughed too and smacked a kiss to his cheek. “I missed you, da.”

“Missed you too. And this must be Zayn?”

“It’s good to finally meet you, sir” Zayn said and extended his hand for Bobby to shake.

Bobby grabbed it and said: “No need for that formal business, me name’s Bobby.”

And just like that, Zayn and Bobby hit it off too. Niall was surprised yet not surprised at all by how quickly Zayn had wormed his way into his parents’ hearts, but he supposed it had something to do with the fact that he liked him so much.

“Dad, is it alright if I run over to Darragh’s real quick? He texted me that Dylan was over and I haven’t seen them in so long, I’d really like to say hi” Niall asked when they’d brought in their luggage and sent the driver off.

“Yeh, sure, I’ll show Zayn around in the meantime. No Sean?”

“Nah” Niall shrugged. “Think I’ll go see him tomorrow.”

He did want to talk to his former boy- and best friend, but he felt like coming by unannounced wasn't the best way to go about this.

He'd need time for that talk.

-

After an hour with Darragh and Dylan, Niall thought that maybe he hadn't lost all of his friends after the breakup. As he walked home, he thought that maybe he'd just been too awkward around them and it had only ever been him.

His friends were still the weird, funny morons he'd always loved.

And apparently they hadn't stopped loving him either.

That realisation made him smile all the way back home, and the people he met would've probably thought he was mad if they wouldn't know exactly who he was and smiled just as wide.

Mullingar was proud of its famous son.

When he walked into the house it was already dusk and he found his dad and Zayn talking animatedly over a couple of pictures.

"Ah, you're back" his dad said when he noticed Niall. "Had fun, then?"

"It was nice, yeh" Niall nodded, before his face turned into a frown. "Are you showing your drawings to my dad before you've shown them to me, Zayn?"

"No, these aren't mine" Zayn explained hurriedly.

"Zayn told me he draws" Bobby added. "So I'm showing him my works from when I was your age in the hope he'll show me his. He insists he didn't bring any though."

Niall was sure he'd seen Zayn with his usual notebook for sketches since they'd arrived in Ireland but Zayn probably had a reason for keeping it secret, so he didn't say anything. "I didn't know you used to draw, da!"

"Well, son, there's a lot you don't know about your old man" Bobby joked. "But don't worry, I was never really good anyway."

"I think you're really good" Zayn protested and Bobby grinned, leaning over to Niall and stage whispered:

"He's just saying that to impress me."

-

Staying with his dad was a lot less stressful for Niall than with his mum, because he didn't have to expect some sort of innuendo or something that gave him away at all times.

It was easy to have a good time with his dad and it seemed to be the same way for Zayn, so he didn't mind being left alone with Bobby while Niall went over to see Sean the next evening.

Him and Zayn had spent the day going through what used to be Niall's favourite movies as a kid (which for Niall classified everything before the X Factor) and they'd had a right laugh, because most of them were "fucking terrible", as Zayn put it.

Niall couldn't really disagree, but he was happy they'd watched them because they had made Zayn laugh, and there was nothing Niall enjoyed more than seeing Zayn laugh.

He sighed again. He was in way too deep.

When Sean opened his door, both boys just stared at each other for a minute.

Sean had grown since he'd last seen him, but he was still smaller than Niall.

"Hi" Niall said with a small smile. He hadn't felt this shy around anyone in a long time.

"Hi" Sean smiled back and stepped aside to let Niall in. "Long time no see."

-

When Niall walked the few metres back home later, he felt lighter than he had in a long time.

The beginning had been the most awkward thing he'd ever experienced, none of them sure how to act around each other and what to talk about.

After a while though, Niall had simply decided to go for it, tired of the awkwardness that was the reason for this visit in the first place. Once they'd started, they'd talked about their relationship, their breakup and their feelings about both of these things for hours.

"You know, I did love you" Sean had said eventually. "But never as much as I loved being your friend."

His dad had long since gone to bed, but Zayn was still awake when Niall unlocked the front door.

"I wasn't sure you'd be coming home tonight" Zayn said instead of a greeting and Niall's smile slipped off his face at his tone.

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked, confused.

"How am I supposed to know? I don't know what you've gotten up to with Sean."

"Zayn..." Niall shook his head slowly. "We talked. We literally only talked. A lot, yeah, and for a long time but I told you I was over him, and meant it. He doesn't love me like that anymore, but we did exactly what you told me to. I'm pretty sure we've just created the base for a new friendship. I have no idea why you're reacting this way now."

Zayn stood there and watched him for a moment before he blinked slowly and shook his head.

"Yeah" he said. "Yeah, you're right of course. I'm sorry, Ni...I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"You didn't have to stay up, you dumbo" Niall smiled.

"Just wanted to make sure you got home alright, I guess."

"Thanks, Zaynie" Niall said and stepped forward to wrap his arms around Zayn's middle. It wasn't like he'd pass up any opportunity to hug Zayn. Especially if he hugged back like this. "Sleep now?"

Zayn hummed. "'m sleepy, yeah."

"Were you alright with my dad here?" Niall asked, his head still on Zayn's chest. Yeah, he'd talked about going to bed, but he didn't really want to let go of Zayn yet.

"'course" Zayn mumbled, nose buried in Niall's hair. Niall liked when he did that. "We watched rugby and he told me stories about you."

Niall groaned. "Embarrassing ones?"

"I think I would've enjoyed being around you as a kid."

"So the worst ones. Thanks dad" Niall said sarcastically.

Zayn pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "I didn't think they were embarrassing, and it's nice learning more about you. Goodnight, Niall."

"Night" Niall whispered, letting go of Zayn and watching him head to Greg's old room.

He sighed deeply and dragged his hand across his face.

It really fucking sucked being in love with Zayn, affectionate, caring, possessive Zayn who didn't even realise what his behaviour was doing to Niall.

The worst thing was that Niall wasn’t the only one getting his hopes up, his friends and obviously his mum too kept pointing out things that Niall had already pondered about too much by himself. Sometimes he thought there had to be something if everyone seemed to see it, and Zayn had to see it too, had to feel it, because sometimes it was so _tangible_ between them – but he never said anything.

So Niall didn’t either. He assumed that Zayn had a reason – either there really wasn’t anything and Niall was overthinking again or he just didn’t want there to be anything.

It wasn’t as if Niall hadn’t considered that possibility, he’d thought about it plenty, and he’d even understand it. Why would someone like Zayn, beautiful, talented, intelligent, mature Zayn want someone like him?

He was nothing more than a kid with a guitar who had somehow managed to acquire an amount of fans he’d never thought possible.

And still, that got him nowhere near Zayn’s level. It was sad but it was a fact.

Niall stood no chance.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is actually the longest since chapter 1 and it's because i'm going on holiday for two weeks soon and i'm not sure how much i'll get written until then. i'll try to write at least a short chapter, but i can't make any promises since my friend and i are going to meet people to choose our new flatmate from...i hope you like this though :)  
> thank you to everyone leaving kudos and comments, you make my days!!

“I got a call this morning” was the first thing Zayn said to Niall the next morning when he stumbled into the kitchen still half asleep.

“Who from?” he yawned, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to wake up properly.

“Claire” Zayn said and Niall thought he sounded pissed off. He sat down opposite Zayn at the kitchen table and looked at his friend.

“What’d she say? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong per se. I guess it’s kind of a feeling I have” Zayn shrugged. “She told me they were still trying to figure out who leaked the information about our flight, but when I told her about my theory of it being a publicity stunt she shot me down. Didn’t wanna hear a word about it.”

“And now you believe it even more?”

Zayn shrugged again, looking down at his hands. “All seems a bit suspicious, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does” Niall agreed, pinching the bridge if his nose. “I just can’t really believe Claire would be in on something like that. I thought she really cared about me, and she _knows_ how scared I get.”

“So did I. That’s what makes me so angry. If she knew about it, and didn’t warn us or do anything against it, she betrayed your trust. That’s not okay.”

“I don’t wanna believe it” Niall sighed. It hurt to think Claire might lie to him like that, he’d sort of seen her as his surrogate mum in London.

“Me neither” Zayn sighed too and reached for Niall’s hand across the table to give it a squeeze. “Let’s just hope this is all a big misunderstanding.”

“I really, really do. Where’s dad?”

“He went to work. Said he’d be back for his lunch break, but he couldn’t take off the whole days we’re here so he had to go today.”

“Makes sense. Why were you up so early though? You didn’t exactly sleep very early last night.”

Zayn lowered his eyes and Niall was pretty sure that there was a blush on his face. “About that…I’m really sorry for being such a knob last night. Dunno what came over me.”

“It’s okay” Niall smiled. “I figured you maybe got a bit protective or something.”

“Yeah…” Zayn said slowly. “Something like that. I’m gonna take a shower.”

Niall watched him leave and wondered for the millionth time if Zayn meant for the things he said to be this ambiguous.

Again, he’d managed to thoroughly mess up Niall’s head with only three words and the blond started to think that maybe it was about time they talked about it. It couldn’t be healthy for their relationship – whatever it was exactly – to be weighed down like this by all the things they didn’t say.

Because Niall was positive it wasn’t entirely one-sided. Maybe not in the way he wanted it to, but Zayn had to notice something too, Niall was sure of that.

So yes, they should talk about it. But Niall was scared, and he didn’t know how to approach the topic without giving his feelings away. After all, there was a high possibility he got it all wrong.

-

"I'm gonna meet up with Sean, Darragh and Dylan later" Niall announced at lunch. "Some more of my friends might come too. D'you wanna come, Zaynie?"

His dad chuckled at the nickname but Zayn smiled. "Sure, I wanna meet these infamous people."

"Great, cause they wanna meet you too."

"You could show Zayn around town" Bobby suggested.

"Exciting Mullingar" Niall said sarcastically. "But sure, if you want to see what it's like here..."

"We'll see" Zayn shrugged. "Let's just meet your friends and see how it goes and what they want to do."

"Fine with me. We're meeting them over at Sean's first."

"Now?"

"In, like, 15 minutes. So go fix your hair, I know you want to" Niall teased and Zayn pinched his side but got up to do so anyway.

When he'd left for the bathroom, his dad smiled at Niall. "It's good to see how well you two get along. I really like him, he's a nice lad."

"Yeah, I'm really glad I picked him as my bodyguard" Niall agreed.

"I was just thinking" Bobby started. "I know they're just rumours, but I couldn't help noticing how you behave around each other..."

"Dad" Niall groaned. Apparently he wasn’t safe anywhere. "Not you too. Mum's already gone over this. Zayn doesn't see me that way."

Bobby' eyebrows shot up and Niall internally cursed, realising his mistake. "Zayn doesn't? But you do?"

The silence coming from Niall apparently was enough for his dad, he patted his shoulder reassuringly. "It's alright, Nialler, we've all been in that situation. How do you know?"

"I don't _know_ " Niall admitted. "It's more like I can just tell."

Bobby was quiet for a moment. "And you're sure you're right?"

"Dad" Niall sighed, feeling as if he kept saying the same things over and over. "I'm the one who's spending all of his time with Zayn, are you all forgetting that? I would know."

"Yes, but are you sure that maybe you're just not noticing..."

"No, dad. Can you please leave it?"

This time it was Bobby sighing. "Alright, I suppose it's your choice."

"Thanks" Niall mumbled. "I'm gonna get ready too."

He went to put on another shirt in his room and then entered the bathroom to fix his hair. Since he'd left the X Factor he'd started styling it a little bit differently, even making the tips stand up a little if he felt particularly fancy.

Zayn was still in there fiddling with his own hair and Niall watched him from the door, wanting nothing more than to walk up to him and wrap his arms around Zayn's waist from behind. Maybe press a little kiss to his neck where the back of his shirt revealed a part of the intricate fantail tattoo there.

"You okay?" Zayn asked, looking at him in the mirror.

Niall blinked and smiled. "Yeah, just wanted to do my hair."

"I'm almost done" Zayn said.

He moved out of the way but didn't leave the bathroom, sitting down on the toilet instead.

"So" he said while Niall squeezed some gel onto his hand. "Besides Sean, we're meeting Dylan and Darragh, right?" Niall nodded. "And they're your age?"

"Pretty much" Niall said. "Sean and Darragh are a bit younger than me."

"Alright, I can deal with that."

He handed Niall the hairspray and the blond smiled at him in thanks, trying not to think about the domesticity they were displaying.

When they left the house a couple of minutes later Niall wondered what his friends might think of Zayn.

He was pretty sure they'd like him, just like Harry and Louis and his parents had, but he didn't want them to think they were more than friends. There were already too many people thinking so and it made him feel very uneasy and uncomfortable considering he was already confused enough about his own feelings without having everyone give their two cents about how they acted around each other.

The problem wasn't necessarily that he didn't know what he felt, because he did know that, it was the fact that he didn't know what to do about it.

He knew he was quite a bit younger than Zayn, especially considering he wasn't even 18 yet. For himself, that didn't seem like too much of a problem, because they got along so well that their age didn't really matter, but there were obviously people who thought differently.

Then there was the fact that Zayn worked for him.

And, the point that was the most important and stopped Niall from even thinking about the first two too much: he didn't know how Zayn felt.

"You okay?" Zayn asked when Niall still hadn't said anything once they were stood in front of Sean's house. "You're quiet today."

"Am I?" Niall acted innocent. "Sorry, I guess I'm just thinking about things. Must be the old age approaching."

Zayn laughed. "Fuck you, sometimes I want to be seventeen again too."

"I know, that's why I said it" Niall chuckled. "I don't actually feel old, I'm still at the point of my life where I just want to turn 18 already."

"Which isn't that long now anymore" Zayn said, patting his shoulder in a gesture of mock comfort.

"A year" Niall sighed just as Sean opened his door.

"What's in a year?" he asked.

"The day I finally turn 18."

"Lucky you" Sean sighed too and then turned to Zayn. "Hi, you must be Zayn. I'm Sean."

"It's nice to meet you, Sean" Zayn smiled. "Niall told me a lot about you."

"I've heard lots about you, too. Although I guess most of it came from magazines and stuff, Niall and I haven't had that much time to catch up yet. Come in though, the lads should be here any minute."

Zayn let Niall walk in front of him and followed them inside.

Sean led them to the living room, where he'd already set up the playstation and some drinks and snacks.

"Since when are you such a good host?" Niall teased, gesturing towards the small table.

"You make it sound as if I never did anything for you" Sean pouted playfully, turning to Zayn. "Which isn't true. Exemplary boyfriend, me."

For a second, Niall thought he saw something flicker across Zayn's face, but he composed himself quickly, his smile almost convincing. "Oh, I bet you were."

This time, Sean had to compose himself, his eyes flickering between Niall and Zayn, trying not to seem too confused.

Niall wished he could help him, but lately, he felt like he was confused by Zayn's behaviour more often than not.

"Anyway" Sean coughed. "I only did it to impress Zayn anyway, show him we're at least a bit civilised here. It's not like any of you pricks would appreciate it."

"Speak of the devil" Niall chuckled when the doorbell rang.

Niall still felt a little apprehensive about introducing Zayn to people because he wasn't really sure what to introduce him as. Bodyguard would be weird and somehow not quite enough, but introducing him as his friend might cause his other friends to ask some questions he really didn’t want to answer, at least not in front of Zayn. He figured it was probably best to just say “this is Zayn” and leave it at that. They all would’ve heard of him anyway.

Apparently an introduction wasn’t even necessary though, as Niall learned.

"Hey Zayn!" Darragh yelled as soon as he entered the room, quite obviously startling the addressed. Niall chuckled when Zayn waved weakly in reply.

"Uh...hi. Which one are you?"

"Oh, right, I forgot you don't already know us. I'm Darragh."

"Hey" Zayn repeated. "How can you forget that?"

"Nah, it's just that we've heard so much about you - from Niall or his parents or the papers - that it kind of feels as if we've known you for a while."

"That's kind of creepy, Dar" Niall laughed. "Don't freak him out before he can get to know you."

"We didn't stalk you or anything" Darragh tried to reassure Zayn, taking a seat next to him. "And we didn't believe much of what we read."

"Well that's a relief" Zayn muttered and Niall laughed at him. "What did they say about me though?"

"Ah you know, the usual" Sean grinned, sitting down on the sofa too. "All your dirty little secrets."

Zayn grinned. "Good."

"No joke though" Darragh said, angling his body towards Zayn completely and making Sean huff in annoyance when he was cut off from the conversation by his back. "I watched some of your boxing matches, and you were sick, mate!"

"Thank you" Zayn smiled, a little guarded, but still.

Niall remembered how he'd reacted to the mere mention of his former career when they'd first met a couple of months ago and suddenly realised how much better Zayn had gotten.

He didn't know if he had anything to do with it, but it didn't seem that unlikely, considering Zayn had apparently had a hard time for a whole year before he'd started working for Niall.

The thought made him smile.

"Dylan's gonna be a bit late" Darragh told Sean. "He said he had to take his sister to a friend's or something first."

"That's okay, we can play some FIFA until he comes if you want? It'll be easier with four anyway."

"You any good?" Darragh asked Zayn. "I know Niall's a beast."

"He is" Zayn agreed, smiling at Niall fondly. "I can never beat him."

Niall lowered his head and felt the blush spread across his cheeks.

"He's not that bad either."

"He's just humouring me" Zayn chuckled and threw his arm around Niall to ruffle his hair.

Niall pressed his forehead against Zayn's shoulder for a moment and mumbled: "Shut up."

"Well you'll just have to show us yourself" Darragh laughed, but Niall could see how his eyes flickered between the two of them.

Sean watched them even more intently over Darragh's shoulder.

"How about we take the first match then?" Zayn suggested, and Darragh agreed readily.

"Niall" Sean said around Darragh and Zayn, "will you come to the kitchen for a minute? I need your help to make popcorn."

Niall shrugged and got up off his seat next to Zayn. "Sure."

When they got to the kitchen, Sean turned to him curiously, his eyebrows furrowed. "So what's with you and Zayn? I thought the rumours weren't true?"

"They aren't! We're not a couple or anything."

"Please don't tell me you're just friends" Sean said sternly, crossing his arms. "You don't act like friends."

"Dunno..." Niall mumbled, avoiding his best friends’ eye. "Where's the popcorn?"

"Don't try to distract me. He seemed pretty jealous to me when I mentioned being your boyfriend."

"Did he?"

"Niall, please. What's going on?"

"I don't know! There's nothing going on but there's _something_ there. From my side at least." He almost whispered the last part, still a bit afraid to admit it in front of people.

"I don't think it's just from your side" Sean said, a gentle smile on his face. "His jealousy wasn't a friend's one, honestly."

"Are you sure?" Niall asked, and he could hear how hopeful he sounded.

"Absolutely. Haven't you ever tried to find out?"

"I have!" Niall whined. "It just hasn't led to anything yet. He never says anything or tries to make a move or whatever."

"I think maybe you should just tell him. Or even better, show him. Like, just go and plant one right on him, see how he takes it."

Niall laughed nervously. "I couldn't."

"I don't think he'd complain" Sean smirked. "How long has this been going on?"

"Too long" Niall sighed. "Dunno, a month at least?"

"A month?"

"Maybe even more...?" He made it sound like a question, Sean's raised eyebrows making him feel insecure.

"Oh Niall" Sean chuckled. "You two must be terribly oblivious."

"No, it's not...I just think he has a reason not to act on it."

"Well what if he thinks the same thing about you?"

Niall was quiet. Yeah, what if?

"Niall" Sean said, grabbing his friends shoulder. "Don't worry, yeah? It's gonna be alright, one way or the other."

Niall smiled weakly and Sean's hand wandered from his shoulder to the back of his neck, squeezing lightly.

Following the pressure Niall stepped closer to his former boyfriend, hugging him around the waist.

Sean let out a small laughed and hugged him back.

"You've got it bad, huh?"

Niall hummed in reply. "'fraid I do."

"Are you coming back anytime soon?" Darragh yelled from the lounge. "I want popcorn."

"Just a minute!" Sean yelled back and let go of Niall. "We should probably get started on that."

"Yeh" Niall nodded and went to set the timer on the microwave.

When they got back to the lounge with the fresh popcorn, Darragh laughed.

"It's like it used to be when you disappeared to make out and thought we wouldn't know what you did."

Zayn's head snapped around to look at Sean and Niall standing next to each other.

"We didn't, though" Sean said. "We just have a lot to talk about."

"I know, you don't look it either. Just reminded me of that."

Niall walked up to Zayn and sat down next to him - maybe a bit closer than strictly necessary, but if nobody said anything...

"Alright?" Zayn asked quietly.

Niall hummed and nodded, leaning his head against Zayn's shoulder.

Zayn dropped a featherlight kiss to the top if his head and Niall smiled faintly, ignoring Sean's cough.

"Anyway, Zayn's bloody terrible at FIFA, no surprise you beat him, Niall" Darragh said, breaking the silence.

"I'm not _terrible_ " Zayn protested.

Niall laughed. "Yeah, you are."

Zayn poked his side in retaliation but stopped fighting otherwise.

Niall snuggled into his side a bit more, pulling his legs up onto the sofa.

"Okay, so Darragh beat Zayn" Sean summarised. "Who's next?"

-

When the doorbell rung next time, Sean let Dylan in with a loud: "Come on and watch how Niall and I absolutely destroy Zayn and Darragh!"

"What?" Niall heard Dylan ask.

"FIFA, mate!"

"They're not destroying us!" Darragh yelled. "Right, Zayn?"

"Maybe a bit" Zayn chuckled and patted Darragh's back.

Niall cackled and stuck his tongue out at them.

"I hope you missed me" Dylan said when he entered the lounge.

"We didn't, you're making this an uneven number" Niall observed dryly.

"Fuck you too, Nialler" Dylan laughed. "Hi Zayn, I promise they usually worship me."

"Lies!" Sean shouted, stumbling into the room too. "Don't believe anything he tells you."

Zayn just sat there and laughed incredulously, making Niall laugh harder.

When they'd all calmed down - after a fight between Darragh and Dylan that Sean had done the commentary for and Niall falling off the sofa laughing - Sean suggested they might as well just go to the park already, since they were too many for FIFA now anyway.

"Besides, the others will want to see Niall too, and they're coming to the park."

"Which others?" Niall asked.

"We thought you might want to see some other people too, so we told the usual crowd to meet us at the park or the pub later" Dylan said.

"Ah, that's a good idea" Niall grinned. "It'll be great to see them before my birthday party."

"More friends of yours?" Zayn asked.

"Yep" Niall made. "All of my mates from school. Is that alright with you? Meeting so many new people at once?"

"Sure" Zayn shrugged. "I know you and now I know these lads, it'll be fine."

"Great" Darragh said and clapped Zayn's back. "Let's get going then, me auld sons!"

Zayn laughed again, shaking his head at them, but got up. He offered Niall his hand and pulled him to his feet, the smile still on his face.

When they got to the park, there was already a small group waiting for them, shouting excitedly when they saw the five boys approaching.

"Nialler!"

"Hey, superstar!"

"You're home, me auld son!"

Niall grinned and picked up his pace, happy to see his friends again.

All of them were here, Brad, Holly, Shanon, Ali, even his cousin Emma had come.

Before he knew it, he was being tackled in a group hug, almost falling over.

"We never see you around here anymore" Emma complained once they'd let go of him. "Don't we get a piece of you now that you're famous?"

"I promise I'll try to stay in touch better from now on" Niall said. He felt guilty for breaking off contact with his friends because he was afraid they'd take Sean's side.

"Have Zayn make sure of it" Darragh suggested, and immediately everyone looked at an awkward Zayn.

"Um...I'll try my best?"

"I think you'll do great" Sean smiled, and Niall was suddenly very grateful he'd introduced Zayn to only a couple of his friends first.

"Tell us about your exciting superstar life in London then" Ali requested and sat down on the grass expectantly, crossing her legs. The others followed her lead.

"Stop saying I'm a superstar" Niall mumbled, bashful, but more than willing to tell them everything he'd seen and done.

Occasionally, Zayn would butt in to correct Niall if he thought he'd exaggerated - which he totally hadn't of course - but mostly, he was left alone to tell his stories.

"You really do act like an old married couple" Holly said after another of Zayn's interjections.

Her smile was genuine, and Niall felt relieved. He remembered how she'd had a crush on him and how badly she'd taken him being gay after he first told her. He was glad she was over it.

Still, imagining him and Zayn as a married couple was too nice not to be awkward, so he laughed mildly.

"Guess it's all of the time we spend together" he shrugged.

Sean threw him a knowing glance but thankfully steered the conversation away from the topic again.

"How about we go to the pub now?" Brad suggested when the sinking sun started to colour the trees in the park orange.

"No offense, but are even all of you old enough to go to the pub?" Zayn asked carefully when everyone started getting up.

"Well no one's stopping us from going in there, that's no crime" Shanon said cheekily. "And it's not our fault if they'll give us alcohol without asking how old we are, is it?"

Zayn laughed. "That's one way of seeing it."

"I went to the pub before the X Factor" Niall told Zayn, falling into step with him. "And I definitely wasn't 16 then."

Zayn slung his arm around Niall's neck, patting his chest. "Why am I not surprised."

Niall pouted playfully and elbowed him. "Hey!"

"Don't worry, I won't tell" Zayn teased.

"Pretty sure my parents know actually."

"Of course they do" Darragh interjected with a laugh. "You can't keep secrets in a small town like this."

"Well if they don't mind..."

"It's not like we were getting smashed every weekend" Niall explained. "Just went there for a laugh and a couple of pints. Same as today. And are you really trying to tell me you never drank anything before you turned sixteen?"

"Well" Zayn shrugged, a grin tucked into the corner of his mouth. "I wasn't allowed to drink anything while I was in training anyway...but I gotta admit I might've tried it at some point."

"Ha, knew it! You really weren't allowed to drink?"

"Nope, technically not. Didn't always stop me, but I probably still drank much less than I would've otherwise."

"How very responsible of you" Sean chuckled. "It'll be good for you to see how Irishmen go out then."

"I've heard stories."

"You excited to find out how true they are?" Brad asked.

"Can't wait" Zayn grinned.

"You won't have to, we're here" Emma announced, exaggeratedly pointing at the pub down the street. "Ta-da!"

The inside of the pub hadn't changed at all since Niall had last been there, it was still small, cosy, and just a little bit run down.

The big group of teens - and Zayn - squeezed around one of the round tables in a corner of the pub, Niall sandwiched between Zayn and Sean, Darragh on Zayn's other side. The two of them seemed to have hit it off pretty well, discovering a shared interest in tattoos right away.

"If it isn't our little Niall Horan!" a voice boomed and Niall looked up to see Saoirse, the woman who almost always manned the bar at the pub, approaching them with a huge smile. "It's good to see you in familiar company, lad!"

"I've missed ya, Saoirse!" Niall shouted back and got up to give her a hug. He'd always gotten along well with the woman, they had the same outgoing, loud kind of personality and she was always up for a laugh.

"How's the big bad world treating you then? Everything good?"

"Still mostly feels like a dream" Niall admitted, laughing.

"And that's the famous boyfriend then?" Saoirse asked, pointing at Zayn.

"Friend" Niall corrected smoothly. He was getting good at that. "One thing the big bad world is very good at is creating rumours."

Saoirse glanced at Zayn, leaned closer to Niall and whispered: "Shame."

Niall laughed. "You tell me."

"He's pretty, that's for sure. How about you come see me at the bar later so you can tell me more about all of this?" She looked up at Niall's group of friends, raising her voice so they could all hear her. "But first, a round on me!"

Everyone cheered and Saoirse laughed, walking back towards the bar to prepare their drinks.

"Another friend of yours?" Zayn asked. "She seems nice."

"She is" Niall grinned. "We always used to trade jokes or made bets who could make everyone laugh more. She's amazing."

"I like it here." Zayn's face was thoughtful, but he was smiling lightly. "I like how carefree and easy going everyone is despite how hard they might have it."

"Mullingar's not so bad" Niall agreed. "A lot of people are quite poor, but everyone makes the best of it." He chuckled. "And drinks a lot, I suppose."

As if on cue, Saoirse arrived with their pints, lifting her own for a toast. "To Mullingars favourite, to our Niall!"

The whole group cheered again, clinking glasses and making Niall blush.

Zayn laughed at him and lifted his glass too, cheering with the others.

"Shut up" Niall said. "I love you all, you bloody idiots."

"Aww" Emma made and blew him a kiss, the whole table erupting with laughter.

-

A couple of hours and a sizeable amount of pints later, Niall ended up next to Zayn again after having made his round around the table to catch up with all of his friends.

"Everything good?" he asked Zayn. "You havin fun?"

"I like your friends" Zayn announced and Niall took it as a yes to his question.

"Me too" he laughed. "I'm gonna go talk to Saoirse for a minute, 'kay?"

"You have weird names" Zayn mumbled and Niall laughed at his slurred speech.

"Had a few too many, huh, Zaynie?"

"'m fine, 'm fine" Zayn promised. "Go talk to people. I've still got Darragh here."

"That you do, mate" Darragh said, throwing his arm around Zayn.

Niall smiled and got up to head towards the bar. This evening had turned out even nicer than expected, with Zayn getting along so well with his friends and being able to let loose a little.

Apparently he didn't have a very high tolerance for alcohol, which made sense with his history but was still funny.

"Finally found your way to me?" Saoirse asked when he sat down on one of the bar stools, setting down a fresh pint in front of him.

"Wouldn't miss it" Niall grinned.

"Does that mean you wanna talk about pretty boy?"

"No" Niall shook his head. "No, I don't wanna talk about Zayn. Tell me about here, tell me what's happened in good ol' Mullingar."

“Ahh, not much” Saoirse sighed. “Old Mrs Ronan died last month and the O’Briens had their third baby, called him Patrick…”

She went on to tell him all the stories about people he knew, personally or just through the stories other people had told him, as it was in small towns.

“You know pretty boy’s been staring at you for the past ten minutes?” Saoirse interrupted her story some time later, startling Niall.

He looked over his shoulder and found Zayn watching them, chin resting on his hand. He didn’t seem to be aware of what he was doing, his eyes looked as if they were about to slide shut any second, but they were definitely trained on him.

He didn’t look away when Niall’s eyes met his, just smiled lightly and kept watching. Niall smiled back, unsure, and turned to Saoirse again.

“What’s he doing?”

She chuckled. “Oh, love. He likes you, isn’t it obvious?”

“What? No! No, he doesn’t. He wouldn’t. I don’t…”

“What’s wrong, lad?” Saoirse asked, her voice laced with concern. “What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not…it’s just…” Niall sighed deeply. “Listen. The thing is, I’m trying not to get my hopes up again, cause they’ll be crushed anyway. Nothing will ever come from this.”

“How many times have you said this already? It sounds well-rehearsed, but that doesn’t make it true. Here, drink this and go back to him. Maybe the alcohol will help you two to get your shit together.”

Niall stared at his older friend for a minute and the grabbed the small glass she’d placed in front of him, downing the shot. “Wish me luck.”

“You can do it!” Saoirse gave him a thumbs-up and Niall grinned, heading back to their table.

He sat down next to Zayn again, who – to Niall’s surprise – wrapped an arm around his waist, resting his chin on the blonde’s shoulder.

Their faces were incredibly close when Zayn asked: “You gonna stay with me this time?”

“What?” Niall asked dumbly.

“You always leave me to talk to other people” Zayn pouted, and Niall’s eyes flickered down to his pursed lips for a second.

Awkwardly, he cleared his throat. “I just…I haven’t seen them in a long time.”

“’s okay” Zayn mumbled. “I get it. Just…sit with me for a bit?”

“Yeah, ‘course” Niall whispered, lifting his hand to play with the hair in the nape of Zayn’s neck.

Zayn’s eyes closed and he let out a content sigh. “I really had fun tonight.”

“I’m glad you did. I’m happy you seem to get along with all of my friends.”

“They’re cool” Zayn smiled, opening his eyes again and sitting up straighter. “I think I’m drunk.”

Niall laughed. “Yeah, I think so too.”

“Why aren’t you?”

“I am. Just not as much as you, but hey, I’m Irish. It’s in my genes.”

“No fair” Zayn pouted again. “How long d’you wanna stay?”

“We can go if you’re tired” Niall offered.

“I don’t wanna make you leave…”

“It’s alright, it’s late and I’m gonna see them all at my birthday party anyway” Niall shrugged, lifting his head and raising his voice to address the whole table. “Lads, you’re all coming to my birthday party the day after tomorrow, right?”

A chorus of affirmatives was the reply and Niall grinned at Zayn. “See?”

Zayn laughed. “Okay then.”

“We’re gonna head home, Zayn’s a bit drunk” Niall announced and got a jab to his back for it, but Zayn laughed anyway.

They said their goodbyes to Niall’s friends and Niall hugged Saoirse for a whole minute, and then they walked out into the chilly mid-September night air.

“Apparently it’s not a good idea to drink with a group of Irish when you’re not used to anything” Zayn said. “Everything’s a bit…wobbly.”

Niall laughed loudly. “Oh, Zaynie. Need help walking?”

“I’m not _that_ drunk” Zayn protested, but when Niall wrapped a supporting arm around his waist he didn’t complain, resting his arm around Niall’s shoulders.

“I’m really happy you came here with me” Niall said quietly after they’d walked in silence for a few minutes.

“To Ireland?”

“Yeh, that you agreed to meet my family and my friends and that you get along so well with them all. Dunno, that just makes me really happy.”

“I’m happy too” Zayn said. “And I’m embarrassed that I’m the oldest and still the drunkest.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve seen worse” Niall assured him. “You haven’t even undressed, or puked.”

“Thank god” Zayn mumbled. “I would’ve had that image forever.”

“Probably” Niall laughed. “But you’re good.”

They fell into silence again, walking through the night arm in arm. Niall knew it was for support and maybe warmth, but it still felt nice. He could get used to it.

When they’d arrived at Niall’s house and unlocked the door, Niall led Zayn t the kitchen to give him a glass of water.

“Drink this” he ordered. “You’ll thank me in the morning.”

“Thanks” Zayn grinned and downed the glass in one go. “Not a big fan of hangovers.”

“Understandable” Niall nodded. “You okay to go to your room on your own?”

“Yeah, sure.” Zayn hesitated for a second. “Niall…”

“Yeah?” Niall turned to face Zayn again, taken by surprise when the older boy reached for his hand.

“Thanks for tonight” Zayn said sincerely. “And…everything. Thanks for everything.”

“Is everything okay?” Niall asked quietly.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just…I feel like you’ve done so much for me and I never really thanked you for it. So thank you.”

“Of course” Niall whispered, smiling softly. “Of course, Zayn.”

There was a short silence while they looked at each other, their hands still interlocked. Niall’s eyes flickered down to Zayn’s lips again and he was pretty sure Zayn’s did the same. Shakily, he licked his lips and Zayn let out a small sound that felt like a pull low in Niall’s gut.

 _This is it_ , his mind screamed at him when Zayn leaned forward slowly. _This is what you’ve wanted all this time!_

His breath sped up to match his heartbeat and his eyelashes fluttered shut when Zayn was close enough so he could count all of his eyelashes.

And then, suddenly, Zayn’s hand was gone from his.

Niall opened his eyes to see Zayn back away from him, his eyes wide and shocked.

“No” Zayn muttered. “No, Niall, I can’t…I’m sorry.”

Niall stared at him in disbelief, lifting his hand as if to reach for him. “Zayn…”

“No” Zayn repeated, taking two more steps backwards. “Just forget this happened. Nothing happened.”

More quickly than Niall would’ve thought possible in his intoxicated state he turned around, practically running out of the kitchen.

Leaving Niall standing in the middle of the room with a broken heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry :(( i'll really try to update asap! don't hate me please haha


	9. Chapter 9

When Niall woke up the next morning after a fitful sleep, he felt like shit.

He'd cried into his pillow for what felt like hours until the exhaustion finally caused him to fall asleep, no matter how restless it was.

The first few moments were still blissfully oblivious, but as soon as his mind tried to figure out why he felt like he'd just run a marathon, it all came crashing back.

With a dry sob, Niall turned his face sideways into his pillow again, trying to muffle the sounds.

The worst wasn't even the fact that Zayn didn't want to kiss him - even though that felt like a fucking knife right through his heart -, it was that he'd managed to ruin everything they had, their friendship, the trust between them. Gone.

And maybe he was angry at Zayn too, because he hadn't imagined how he'd leaned in for a kiss, he definitely hadn't.

It was unfair of him to get that close to finally making Niall's wish come true, just to completely crush him and leave with no explanation.

_Nothing happened._

For the first time ever, Niall really wished nothing had happened. Now that he knew what it was like, it was obvious to him that he'd much rather keep pining silently, if he got to be Zayn's friend instead. This way was probably the worst choice.

How was he supposed to ever face Zayn again?

Niall quietly got out of bed, tiptoeing to his door to check if the air was clear, before he grabbed a fresh set of clothes and sprinted to the bathroom. He wouldn't risk running into Zayn.

Checking the kitchen was more difficult, because his dad saw him before he could make his escape.

"What's up with you?" he asked. "Are you trying to hide from something?"

"Uh...no" Niall mumbled while Zayn dumped his dishes in the sink so quickly that it clattered loudly.

"I'm gonna take a shower" he said to no one in particular and was out of the kitchen as quick as lightning.

Bobby sat at the table, looking slightly as if he'd been struck by said lightning.

"Okay" he said. "Okay. Care to explain what the fuck that just was?"

"Um" Niall played innocent. "What was what?"

"This just" Bobby made a gesture with his hand, pointing between Niall and the sink and the door Zayn had disappeared through. "You didn't even _look_ at each other."

"It was nothing" Niall said shortly and grabbed his breakfast to eat outside.

It was even worse than he'd expected.

Not only the awkwardness between him and Zayn, but also that he'd completely forgotten that other people would definitely notice. What were they supposed to tell them? Or would they have to act normal in front of them? Niall wasn't sure if he could still do that.

The more he thought about it, the angrier at Zayn he got. They would've been perfectly fine the way they'd been before, Niall would've been able to cope and maybe eventually get over him.

This way, though, Niall had had his heart broken, been mortified too much to get over it enough to ever be Zayn's friend again.

And that really was more Zayn's fault than his.

So, as he munched on his cereal, he gradually got more and more angry until he felt ready to smack Zayn hard over the head.

Who did Zayn think he was? How could he think it was okay to treat anyone that way? Not just Niall, but this behaviour wouldn't be okay with anyone, no matter what the situation.

"I never thought you could be such an arse" Niall mumbled, his face in a grimace as he tried not to cry. "What did I do wrong?"

"Niall..." his dad was suddenly behind him, hand heavy on his shoulder. "You wanna talk about it, son?"

Niall closed his eyes, putting the spoon he'd been staring at down.

"No, dad. M'alright."

"Are you sure?" Bobby hesitated. "Did something happen with Zayn?"

Niall silently shook his head, keeping his eyes closed so no tear would make its way down his cheek.

He didn't want to worry his dad and he'd definitely cried enough already. Why did it hurt so much?

"Okay" Bobby said quietly, squeezing Niall's shoulder. "If you change your mind, I'm right here."

Niall nodded and heard his dad retreat into the house.

-

Later, Niall was sat in his room, strumming his guitar sadly. Suddenly he understood why people always sang about heartbreak the way they did.

In a way, Sean had broken his heart too, but he understood now that it'd always been a different kind of love he'd felt for him than for Zayn.

This was far worse.

"Niall?" There was a soft knock on his door and his mum's voice calling for him. Right, Niall remembered, it was his birthday tomorrow and people started arriving.

Niall put his guitar away, wiping his eyes once more and said: "Yeh?"

"Can I come in?"

"'course, mum."

Maura opened the door carefully and gave him a warm smile before closing the door again and moving to sit on his bed next to Niall.

"I just arrived, sweetheart, and dad told me you've been in here all day and haven't talked to anyone. Neither has Zayn. Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, ma" Niall insisted.

"You don't look fine, darling. Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it? I'm sure whatever it is can be fixed."

"There's nothing to be fixed" Niall mumbled, looking down at his fingers to hide the tears that were already rising in his eyes again from his mum.

"Nialler..." his mum sounded helpless and pitiful, and that was exactly what Niall didn't need right now.

"Please, mum, can we not talk about it? I'll be down in a minute."

For a few seconds, he thought his mum would refuse to leave, but then she got up with a sigh.

She kissed the top of his head softly and then he was alone again.

"Fuck" he muttered, rubbing his face.

This was such a bad timing for Zayn to rip his heart to shreds, considering they were expecting quite a few guests.

His brother Greg would come, and it couldn't be too long until Harry, Louis and Liam arrived either.

After a few minutes alone, he felt almost up to having a normal conversation again, so he left his bedroom and trudged downstairs.

Thankfully, it was just his parents in there, Zayn being god knows where.

"Hey" he said quietly and sat down at the table his parents were sitting at. "I'm glad you're here, mum."

"So am I" she smiled. "Are you excited for the party tomorrow yet? All of your friends will be there at once."

Niall plastered a fake smile on his face and tried to look as cheery as possible. "Yeh, I can't wait!"

His parents looked unconvinced and out of pure despair, Niall started rambling about whatever came to his mind to keep them from asking more questions.

He talked about Saoirse and the things she'd told him at the pub, about his friends and what they were up to these days, and even some stories crew members had told him.

When he couldn't think of anything that didn't involve Zayn anymore, he got up.

"I feel like going outside for a bit" he announced. "I'll be in the garden."

The loaded glance his parents exchanged didn't escape him.

-

"Niall."

Niall squeezed his eyes shut tighter. _Please go away, please go away_.

"I know you're not asleep, your nose scrunches up when you are."

Knowing that Zayn knew this made Niall want to cry and he put his hands over his face, letting out a groan.

"What do you want?"

He was lying on his back in the furthest corner of their garden, in the hopes that no one would find him. For almost an hour, he'd been lucky.

"I want to resign as your head of security."

Niall sat up with a start, opening his eyes but refusing to look at Zayn.

"I figured."

"Let me explain why." Zayn sat down next to him and Niall turned away slightly.

"Oh, so you _can_ explain things?"

"Niall..." Zayn sounded frustrated and Niall wanted to hit him. "I'm sorry for what happened. I understand if you hate me now, I wouldn't blame you. But believe me, I'm really sorry."

"What for?" Niall was proud of how strong he sounded. "For almost kissing me or for running away without an explanation?"

"For both, I guess."

Niall huffed. "Great, thanks."

"I'm sorry I didn't explain myself, but I was drunk and confused, and I might also be the biggest idiot around. I'm sorry for almost kissing you, because I really wanted to kiss you properly but I didn't think you might want that too. Which leads us back to the biggest idiot around."

"What?" Niall had gotten stuck somewhere during the part where Zayn had said he'd wanted to kiss him, and his heartbeat skyrocketed.

"I thought you'd think I was using you, I thought you'd think I'm damaged goods anyway. Apparently I might’ve been wrong about that, if what your parents say is true."

"Damaged goods?" Niall felt like a parrot, but he didn't know what to think. Was Zayn saying what he thought he was?

"Because of what I went through last year, shutting people out, being rude, wallowing in self-pity and stuff...you know."

"Why...why would I think that?"

"See?" Zayn shrugged sheepishly. "Still think too much. Deny myself too much. Liam says I push away the things that get too close to me, and I guess he's right. I loved boxing more than anything, and I lost it. So now I push things away before they get too close and I eventually lose them anyway."

"You're such a pessimist" Niall chuckled, carefully sliding a few inches closer to Zayn. "So when you say this...am I one of the things that got too close to you?"

"You're the only one who's ever gotten this close to me." Zayn's voice was low, careful and hesitant, as if he was still scared of saying too much.

Niall breathed through his nose loudly, trying to keep himself as calm as possible.

"Okay" he said, his hand inching closer to Zayn's until their pinkies were brushing. He could swear he saw the corner of Zayn's mouth lift up in a smile. "Okay. Just so you know, I don't think you're damaged goods, and I'm not going anywhere if you don't want me to."

"No?" Zayn asked, lifting his head to look at Niall. Niall looked up too and smiled at him, reassuring him that no, he wasn't going to run.

Zayn's smile was blinding now and his pinkie moved to link with Niall's.

Niall smiled back and moved his hand some more so they were full on holding hands now. He thought his heart might burst any second.

“What did you mean with the thing about my parents?” he asked, still trying to catch up with everything Zayn had said.

“Um” Zayn made, blushing. “They talked to me a few minutes ago…said I was blind if I didn’t see what you felt for me and why you’re avoiding me right now. They said I should ‘go and get you’, that I could’ve done so a long time ago. I don’t know how right they were.”

“Pretty accurate, I guess” Niall mumbled sheepishly.

Zayn’s smile grew impossibly wider, turning bashful now.

"So would you...can I go through with it this time? Will you let me kiss you?"

Niall nodded, his cheeks flaming. Was this real life?

Much like in the kitchen the night before, Zayn's eyelashes fluttered shut as he leaned in and he was so breathtakingly beautiful that Niall felt dizzy for a moment.

"Wait" he suddenly remembered, causing Zayn to jerk back with a frown on his face. "Just one more thing. Why do you wanna quit?"

"Oh" the relief on Zayn's face was clearly visible and it made Niall feel slightly accomplished. At least he wasn't the only one who really wanted this. "That's because I'm too emotionally invested in you, I'm not professional enough anymore. I've talked to Claire already and she's got a contact here in Ireland who'd be willing to take over, his name is Paul, I think. I'll stay your bodyguard at least for a while, we see how it goes, if I can handle it. We'll decide how to continue things after your tour finishes."

"That sounds sensible" Niall nodded, even though he'd been more focused on Zayn's lips moving for the past few minutes. "Now...?"

Zayn smirked and then his hand was on the back of Niall's neck, guiding him closer, and then finally connected their lips.

Niall sighed into the kiss, shifting closer to feel Zayn's soft lips against his.

Zayn's tongue slowly and questioningly swiped across his bottom lip and Niall opened up more than willingly, holding on to Zayn's upper arm with one hand and his waist with the other.

Zayn wrapped his free arm around him to pull him even closer and Niall whimpered quietly, tugging on Zayn's bottom lip with his teeth.

"What's this? Do my old eyes really see this or am I dreaming?"

Niall groaned into Zayn's mouth and pulled away slowly.

"Louis."

"Yes, it's me! You could see who else is with me if you could disconnect your eyes and lips for a second."

Zayn chuckled and Niall grinned at him, leaning forward to steal one more kiss before he turned around to face Harry, Louis and Liam.

All three of them were grinning widely, Harry even had his hands clasped under his chin in endearment.

"Well" Zayn said. "Hi, I guess."

His hand searched for Niall's and he grabbed it, intertwining their fingers.

Niall shrugged, unable to keep from smiling like a lovestruck idiot.

"Guess you had a point all along."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't just leave it at that after the last chapter...i hope you're happy with this, evem if it's so much shorter than the others :) next chapter will be after i get back from my holiday in 2-3 weeks. let me know in the comments if you'd want to read how their story continues or if you think this is a good place to end it with an epilogue :) i do have enough ideas to continue it if anyone's interested. thanks for reading this and being so nice!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so so sorry this took so long, but i was on holiday and then i went back straight to work which was really stressful lately. on top of that i had the fic for the [ ziall fic exchange](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/ziallficexchange), but that's done now too, so updates will be more frequent again hopefully! this is almost 6k long and kind of a filler, but everyone who demanded kissing and teasing will hopefully be happy with it ;)

Niall didn't let go of Zayn's hand while they listened to their friends' "told you so"s and "about time"s – which they undoubtedly deserved -, and he was still holding it when they went back to the house where his parents were waiting for them on the veranda expectantly.

Their faces when they noticed the linked hands between the two boys made Niall suddenly realise how involved they'd been in all of this, and how much they'd suffered with them.

Suddenly, he felt so immensely thankful for his amazing parents and he stepped out of Zayn's reach to hug both of them as tightly as possible.

"Thank you" he whispered and heard his mum sniffle quietly. "For everything."

"Seems like we weren't the only ones rooting for them" Harry chuckled.

Niall looked over at Zayn, whose eyes didn't seem to have left him, and shrugged a little sheepishly.

"Admittedly, with how many people have been assuming we were already dating, we maybe could've gotten the hint earlier."

Zayn smiled crookedly. "I guess I can take most of the blame for that."

Liam boxed his upper arm with a fond shake of his head. "Definitely, you idiot."

Niall crossed the space between him and Zayn again, placing his hand on his waist shyly and smiled up at him.

"You're good, don't worry. We figured it out after all."

Zayn didn't say anything, just lifted his hand to place it at the nape of Niall's neck, and smiled down at him.

Niall looked into his eyes that were so familiar and yet somehow seemed so new now, and couldn't believe he got to stare as much as he wanted now.

He could feel his own smile stretching and saw Zayn's lips mirror the action.

Zayn's hand was a warm weight against the side of his neck and his own hand tightened a little on the older man's waist, before someone coughed near them, snapping them out of it.

"I'm gonna be sick" Louis groaned. "You're exactly the kind of cute I expected you to be."

Instead of letting go of Zayn, Niall slipped his arm around his waist, stepping even closer.

Zayn's hand slid from his neck down to his lower back until it rested there comfortably.

"I'm not even sorry" he grinned and Niall boldly pressed a kiss to his jaw.

"Come on, boys" Maura said and Niall remembered that his parents were still there too. "Let's give them some privacy, yeah?"

Liam muttered something in agreement and Niall could hear them all shuffle away, but he couldn't really tear his eyes away from Zayn's face.

Zayn watched them all leave before he turned back to Niall with a soft expression.

"We haven't really had all that much alone time yet, have we?" he asked, turning slightly so he was facing Niall completely.

"Not nearly enough" Niall replied and his voice came out strangely breathless.

Zayn's face switched from soft to something else Niall didn't recognise, and then his hand was on Niall's face, cupping his cheek.

He watched Niall intently and started tracing his face lightly, thumbing along his jaw and over his cheekbones until he got to Niall's mouth.

Carefully, he moved his thumb along his bottom lip, pressing lightly when he got to the middle, making the top lip jut out in a pout.

The sound Niall made wasn't intentional and sounded so needy that he would've cringed if he hadn't seen the same sentiment echoed on Zayn's face right before he leaned in.

He started off by catching Niall's upper lip between his before he pulled his thumb away.

Niall's hands twisted in Zayn's shirt on both sides of his waist, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.

He released another impatient sound and Zayn fisted a handful of his hair, angling his head to the side and licking into his mouth impatiently.

"God, I'm so stupid" Zayn groaned against Niall's lips a few minutes later. "We could've been doing this for weeks."

"Got a lot of catching up to do, then" Niall mumbled, unwilling to break their connection. "So will you please get back to it now."

Zayn did, but only for a second before he pulled back again.

"What?" Niall growled and Zayn chuckled at his eagerness.

"Why are we still standing? I really wanna sit down."

Niall blinked and took in their surroundings, realising that they were in fact still standing at the edge of the garden.

"Oh" he said. "Yeah, me too. Well, we could go to my room, but we'd have to go past my parents then..."

He took in Zayn's appearance, all shiny red lips and mussed up hair and immediately crossed out that possibility.

He probably looked much worse than Zayn, and definitely much less sexy.

"You look so beautiful right now" Zayn said as if he'd read his mind, softly reaching to push Niall's fringe off his forehead.

Niall blushed even more than he probably already was and cast his eyes downwards.

"Not in a way I'd like my parents to see though, definitely not."

Zayn chucked him under the chin with that gesture he'd gotten used to, only this time he pecked his lips quickly when Niall looked up.

"I agree with you there" he chuckled. "I just want you to know that I think you look lovely and stunning."

Niall tucked his head into the crook of Zayn's neck and pressed a small kiss there, feeling at a lack of words.

"We could just go to the back of the garden again" he suggested after a few seconds. "Sit on the grass there."

Instead of answering, Zayn grabbed his hand and pulled him towards their destination.

Once they'd reached the spot Zayn had come to Niall earlier, Zayn simply dropped to the ground, sitting down with stretched legs.

Niall stood next to him for a moment, trying to figure out where to sit best, before he decided to just go all in and sat down right on Zayn's lap, straddling him.

Apparently it had been a good idea because Zayn smirked up at him and put his left hand into Niall's back pocket, pulling them flush together.

"Hey" he said.

"Hi" Niall replied, suddenly feeling shy again.

Zayn looked so gorgeous from this angle too, and some strange twist of fate had made it possible that he was sat in his lap, was allowed to look, to touch, to kiss.

"Niall?" Zayn asked. "You alright, baby?"

"Yeah" Niall smiled. "Just can't really believe it, is all."

He lifted both of his hands to smooth them across Zayn's face and down to his chest, Zayn waiting patiently with a soft smile on his lips.

"I'm sorry I was so stupid" he said quietly after a while. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

Niall stopped moving his hands and placed them at the sides of Zayn's neck.

"You didn't know" he gave back just as quietly. "It's okay."

He leaned down to kiss Zayn and this time it was the older man who didn't waste any time, wrapping his free arm around Niall's middle and even going as far as giving his butt a squeeze where his hand was still in the back pocket of the blonde's jeans.

Niall reacted eagerly to that as well, rocking forward lightly and twisting one hand in the hair at the nape of Zayn's neck.

Eventually, Zayn sunk backwards so he was lying flat on the ground, Niall on top of him.

The snogged like that for a few minutes lazily, until Niall pulled away, breathing heavily.

"Gotta cool down a bit" he mumbled, shifting on top of Zayn so he could rest his head on his shoulder.

He could feel that Zayn was just as hard against his hip as he was and it turned him on even more, but his parents' back garden definitely wasn't the right place to act on that.

Zayn only hummed and smoothed his hand up and down his back.

Niall closed his eyes contently, lips resting against Zayn's neck, occasionally pressing small kisses along there or his collarbone.

"You know" Zayn started quietly. "As much as I enjoyed this, the reason I originally thought we should have some privacy was so we could talk about a couple of things."

"Hm?" Niall made.

"I just assume we're on the same page here" Zayn said, sounding unsure. "So...boyfriends?"

Niall lifted his head, trying to contain his smile to an appropriate level and kissed him soundly.

"Yeah, boyfriends."

"Good." Zayn's eyes sparkled like a Disney princes' and Niall kissed him once more before settling back down.

"I suppose the other thing you wanted to talk about is who we're gonna tell?"

"Yeah. The whole world already assumes we're a couple anyway, but do you want to announce it right away?"

"No" Niall said immediately. "I mean, if that's alright with you. It's just..." He started drawing patterns on Zayn's chest and stomach, thoughtful. "We've seen how big the interest in our relationship is, and I'd like to keep you for myself for a bit longer, if I'm honest."

Zayn kissed the top of his head. "I'd like that too. I think Claire might already know, but maybe if we didn't tell anyone, not even her, we could keep it between us for longer."

"It'll be nicer like that, yeah?"

"For sure" Zayn murmured. "So...no management and no fans. Our friends know and your parents, who else are we okay to tell?"

"Your family, obviously."

"Your friends? They're all coming tomorrow evening."

"Hm" Niall hummed. "It'd be a bit weird standing in front of them and going "hi thanks for coming, Zayn's my boyfriend now", wouldn't it? I don't think we need to say anything, they'll either figure it out themselves or not."

"That sounds like a good idea." Zayn sighed deeply and smoothed his hand up and down Niall's back once more before squeezing his hip lightly. "Alright, how about we get back inside now? They're probably missing us already."

Niall chuckled, propping his chin up on Zayn's chest. "Fair warning: I'm gonna be embarrassed, because there's absolutely no hiding what we were doing."

Zayn ran a hand through Niall's hair and grinned. "I guess not."

"Why do you look so happy about this?" Niall pouted playfully.

"I just like being the cause for it" Zayn said, shrugging lightly and jostling Niall with the movement.

"Aw" Niall made, but he knew the dopey smile on his face showed Zayn exactly that he felt the same way.

He kissed Zayn's chin quickly and sat up, so that he was straddling Zayn again.

"You know" Zayn said thoughtfully, gripping Niall's hips and slipping a thumb under his shirt to trace circles into his skin there. "This isn't exactly beneficial to the cause of getting up."

Niall smirked and hummed before rocking forward once, slowly, watching how Zayn's jaw went slack and his eyes fluttered shut.

For a second, he stared at his boyfriend, awed about the fact he could call him that, and that _he_ was the reason for this. _He_ made Zayn feel this way.

Then, Zayn pinched his side where his hand was still up under Niall's shirt.

Laughing, the blond boy got up, leaning down to haul Zayn up too.

Zayn ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to flatten it and looked at Niall hopefully.

"You're alright" Niall grinned. "Bit unkempt, but nothing too serious."

"What would be serious?"

"Hm, lovebites. Or, dunno, suspicious stains on our trousers."

Zayn choked and then snorted.

"Niall Horan, you sure are something."

Niall shrugged modestly, smiling up at Zayn through his eyelashes. "Can't help it."

Zayn laughed again and tapped him under the chin to peck his lips.

"Ready to face the normal world again?"

"No" Niall shook his head, hugging Zayn tight around the middle and burying his face in the crook of his neck.

"C'mon, love" Zayn murmured, stroking Niall's back. "They'll want to have some time with you, too."

"They don't kiss me like you do."

"Well, I sure hope so" Zayn chuckled. "We've got plenty of time for kissing later, or after your birthday party. When it's just the two of us."

Niall smiled against his skin. "I like the sound of that."

He disentangled himself a bit, bringing a few inches of space between them.

Zayn smiled and leaned down to kiss him once more before letting go of him and linking their fingers.

"Let's go."

-

"Well hello there" Louis greeted them with a smirk. "Had a good talk, boys?"

"Great, thanks" Niall replied, refusing to give his friend the satisfaction of blushing at the heavy implications behind his words.

Harry, Liam and Louis were sat in the lounge with his parents, and all eyes were on Zayn and Niall.

Despite of his determination, Niall could feel himself flush under this scrutiny.

"Um" he made and Zayn squeezed his hand, trying to calm him down. "Why don't we go to my room?"

"All of us?" Harry asked and Niall groaned quietly.

"Yes, Hazza, all of us."

Louis snickered but Liam elbowed him and grabbed his arm to pull him with him. „Lead the way.“

Niall threw him a thankful glance and walked towards his room that everyone but Liam had been to before.

It was a bit of a tight fit with five at least almost grown young men in there, but Niall didn’t mind sitting pressed up against Zayn on his bed.

Harry sat with them, although he kept enough distance to look at them and roll his eyes whenever they were being “disgustingly cute”, as he put it.

Liam had chosen Niall’s chair to sit on, while Louis was spread out on the floor, flicking whatever he could reach from his position at all of them.

Niall was sat comfortably with his back pressed against Zayn's chest and didn't get hit by anything, because he had an amazing boyfriend who deflected it all.

Louis huffed annoyed and stretched instead to pinch Niall, but Zayn kept him from doing that too by kicking at him.

"Wow, you two are shitheads" Louis grumbled. "I thought you were annoying before, but this is so much worse."

Harry looked at their intertwined hands and shook his head. "I mean, you're adorable and I'm really happy for you, but are you gonna make us all feel like lonely losers now all the time?"

Liam laughed. "Look at you two being all supportive."

"They just fucked in Niall's garden, what do they need my support for?"

Niall spluttered at Louis words and could feel Zayn's chest vibrating with laughter behind him.

"We didn't _fuck_ Lou, what the fuck?"

"Ohh, did you _make love_?" Louis teased, making quotation marks in the air.

"We...we didn't do anything like that, oh my god" Niall groaned, mortified. "Do my parents think we did?"

Louis burst out laughing. "I'm just pulling your leg, mate, calm down."

Niall huffed. "I hate you."

"This is gonna be great" Louis cheered. "There are so many new jokes I can finally make now."

Liam leaned forward to whisper something in his ear and Louis' face lit up before he turned to face Liam and they continued whispering.

"Do I need to worry?" Niall asked no one in particular.

"Nah, I've got you" Zayn said with a gentle smile, pressing a soft kiss to Niall's cheek.

Niall turned his head sideways so he could kiss his lips instead and then shifted entirely to face him just because he could, which in their position basically meant he was lying half on top of Zayn again.

Zayn didn't seem put off by the idea at all, he kissed Niall back enthusiastically, one hand on his cheek and the other on his back.

Niall was just thinking about how he was getting a bit hard again just from snogging Zayn and how all of this really wasn't _fair_ when Zayn pulled away and looked over Niall's shoulder.

"Harry" he started and Niall had completely forgotten that there were people with them, and he suddenly had to hide his face in Zayn's chest. "Would you please stop watching us? That's a bit weird."

Niall snorted but didn't move to listen to Harry's reaction.

"What else am I supposed to do? Those two are plotting without me and you're snogging just a few inches away from me, where am I supposed to look?"

"Thanks, now you've ruined the mood anyway" Niall said and sat up. "Keep me entertained then so I won't have to ravish Zayn in front of your eyes."

This time it was Zayn who snorted, but Niall's grin slid off his face when the older man pressed his lips to his neck, just above his shoulder, and sucked lightly.

He _really_ needed distraction.

-

Distraction was provided a few minutes later, when Niall’s older brother Greg and his girlfriend Denise arrived.

Niall was at the door within seconds, hugging both of them tightly.

Greg swung him around once and Niall knew he only did it to prove he still could – that he was still the big brother, but he let him do it without complaint.

Sometimes it was quite nice to be nothing but the little brother again.

“Hi, little bro” Greg said when he put him down. “How’s fame treating you?”

“Same as ever” Niall shrugged with a grin. “I’ve missed your dumb face.”

“Shut it, munchkin” Greg laughed and ruffled his hair. “Introduce me to your friends instead.”

“Oh!” Niall made, turning around to find all four of them behind him. “Right, you know Harry and Louis. That here is Liam and –“

“You’re Zayn” Greg interrupted. “The not-boyfriend.”

Zayn coughed awkwardly and Niall took a step back towards him, reaching for his hand. “Actually, Greg…”

“So it _is_ true? Mum said you swore you weren’t a couple.”

“We weren’t” Niall explained. “Until earlier.”

“Earlier?”

“Like, a couple of hours ago?”

Greg laughed. “Wow, alright. Good for you. Just, Zayn, you know he’s my little brother? Hurt him and I’ll hurt you.”

Zayn nodded. “Wouldn’t expect anything else.”

-

That evening, they all had dinner together around the big table in the Horan’s kitchen, and Niall felt like he couldn’t be happier.

Somehow, within the span of a few hours, his life had turned from temporarily miserable to absolutely perfect, and he couldn’t quite believe it.

Zayn squeezed his thigh under the table and smiled softly, again as if he knew exactly what Niall was thinking, and Niall smiled back, wondering how the hell he’d gotten this lucky.

"By the way" Bobby suddenly announced when there was a brief lull in conversation. "How would you boys feel about a trip to the sea tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Niall frowned. "What about my birthday?"

"We haven't forgotten about it, darling" Maura smiled. "We just thought the five of you could maybe make a day of it, the weather's supposed to be lovely and you'd give us time and space to set everything up for the party."

"We could take a picnic!" Harry said excitedly and Maura smiled at him.

"I've already prepared most of it."

"So this is pretty much already set?" Niall clarified.

"Well..." Bobby shrugged sheepishly. "We won't force you, obviously, but wouldn't it be nice for you, too?"

"Yeah, no, it's a good idea...how are we gonna get there, though?"

"You can borrow the car" Niall's mum offered. "And maybe Liam could drive?"

Liam nodded but Louis next to him frowned. "I can drive, too!"

"It's not that far, I'm sure Liam will manage on his own." Bobby winked at Liam who grinned back.

"You've known me way longer than him!" Louis protested.

Maura laughed. "Exactly, Louis."

Louis huffed while everyone else tried to hold their laughter in as good as possible.

"D'you think it'll be warm enough to take a swim?" Harry asked.

"Might be" Greg shrugged and smirked. "If you're not too big of a wimp, that is."

"Good thing Harry's used to walking around more or less naked anyway" Zayn chuckled.

"Heyyy" Harry made while Niall stifled his laughter in Zayn's shoulder.

He couldn't remember when he'd last felt so carefree.

-

"Ugh."

Harry's groan cut through to Niall who reluctantly separated himself a few inches from Zayn to look over at his friend.

"Yeah, I mean you" Harry said and then turned to the front to whine at Liam and Louis. "Why do I have to sit with them again? They've been snogging for the better part of thirty minutes."

Niall laughed breathlessly against Zayn's neck before sitting up in his seat, determined to keep his hands off Zayn this time.

They'd been driving for almost an hour, and apparently neither he nor Zayn had any self-restraint now that they were finally allowed to touch. It was really hard not kissing Zayn when their thighs were pressed against each and their faces were never more than a few inches apart.

Naturally, Harry was very annoyed.

"Sorry" Niall said, even though he couldn't really feel any remorse.

"Just keep it in your pants" Louis said from the passenger seat with a teasing grin. "It's only twenty more minutes."

Twenty minutes seemed awfully long to Niall, because Zayn was drawing patterns on his knee and thigh while humming quietly, which made it so much harder to keep up a coherent conversation with Harry.

When they finally arrived, he couldn't even say what they'd been talking about.

Ireland in mid-September wasn't exactly a beach holiday country, but it was a warm day and they were able to wear shorts and t-shirts.

They'd brought trunks, but Niall wasn't too confident they'd be using them.

Each of the boys carried something from the car to the practically empty beach, where they'd found a nice, sheltered place that provided protection from both the wind and the curious eyes of possible passer-bys.

"We should probably eat right away" Niall suggested. "My mum is amazing at making picnics."

"Which translates to: _I'm hungry and wanna eat_ " Liam grinned.

Niall laughed and shrugged. "Maybe."

Harry, who had already laid down on one of the big beach towels they'd brought, agreed with Niall. "If we eat now, we can go swimming later."

"Definitely not" Zayn protested.

"Why not?" Louis asked. "I reckon it'd be fun."

"Firstly, it's not that warm" Zayn listed. "And secondly, I avoid water if I can."

"What?" Harry asked and Louis laughed.

"How do you not smell then?"

"Not the shower, you twat! I just...don't really like open waters."

"Zayn can't swim" Liam provided.

Niall glanced between them. "How did I not know that about you?"

Zayn shrugged. "Never really thought it was relevant."

Louis started dropping grapes into Harry's mouth, which distracted the two of them and Liam from Zayn's confession, but Niall stayed on the topic.

Sliding closer to Zayn on the blanket, he asked, in a light teasing tone: "So, bad flyer and bad swimmer, huh?"

"Rub it in, why don't you" Zayn grumbled, but tugged Niall closer nonetheless. "'s embarrassing."

"Not to me" Niall said, angling his head upwards so he could press his lips to Zayn's jaw for a moment. "I like finding out things that make you seem more human."

Zayn laughed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Dunno" Niall shrugged. "You look like you could be a model or as you say the bad boy boxer, but I'm still amazed every time I find out something that proves you're really just a nice guy. Fucking beautiful and probably a hundred times better than everyone else, but still human."

Zayn looked down at him with wide eyes. “Niall…I’m nothing special, honestly. I always thought you were much too good for me.”

Niall chuckled.  “I know that’s what you think. But you’ve always seemed kind of perfect to me.”

"I had no idea you thought that way" Zayn said, sounding slightly awed.

"Couldn't really tell you without giving everything away, could I?"

Zayn kissed him lightly. "I'm glad there's nothing to give away now anymore."

"Me too." Niall smiled and closed the distance between their lips once more, feeling Zayn's mouth curve against his.

"No, no, nope" Louis interrupted them, even going as far as pulling on their shoulders to separate them. "Enough snogging for today."

"It's my birthday, Lou!" Niall protested. "Am I not allowed to get my birthday kisses?"

"You've gotten plenty, don't be greedy" Louis deadpanned. "It's your birthday, and we're spending it together. We didn't come here to watch you two be sickening with all that...lovey-dovey stuff."

Harry snickered but Niall nodded, realising that they really weren't very nice.

He knew Louis hadn't meant it in a reprimanding way, but he still took him serious.

Zayn seemed to feel the same way because he moved to bring a few inches of space between them, looking at their friends.

"Alright then" he said. "What have you got planned?"

-

Later in the car on their way back, Niall was allowed to snuggle into Zayn's side again.

They had to be back by seven at the very latest if they didn't want to arrive after all the guests, but they'd had so much fun that they'd almost forgotten about the time.

Harry had brought his camera and gone wild with it, and then they'd thrown Harry into the sea in a group effort that resulted in all of them being drenched, especially Louis, who Harry had pulled in with him, and Niall, who had involuntarily acquired a Harry shaped, soaking wet blanket.

Harry had just dropped down on top of him, covering his body entirely, and even Zayn had laughed too hard to save him.

"I'm gonna have to take a shower before the party" Niall mumbled. "D'you think we're gonna make it, Li?"

"I'm already speeding a bit but I think we'll be good" Liam answered. "If you don't take ages in the shower."

"And if you'll let me and Lou in too" Harry piped up.

"Not with you" Louis added. "After you. Don't worry, Zayn."

Zayn glared at him. "I didn't say anything."

"I saw your face, Zayners, there's no hiding" Louis teased and Zayn flipped him off.

"Shut up."

Niall didn't say anything, just smiled into Zayn's neck contentedly.

-

"Well that was a close call" Niall's mum said when he got out of the shower just before the first guests were bound to arrive. "Did you have a good day?"

"It was brilliant" Niall replied and could feel his smile lighting up his whole face.

Maura's answering smile was soft and she kissed his forehead gently. "I'm so happy you're happy, sweetheart."

"Thanks, mum" Niall whispered and hugged her tightly for a moment. "Is there anything you need me to do before the party?"

"No, everything's done, don't worry. Go get the door, will you?"

Opening the door revealed Sean to him, and Niall hugged him enthusiastically.

"How is this possible, _you're_ the first to arrive!"

"Hello to you too, Nialler" Sean grinned, patting his back. "Look at you, aren't you in a good mood?"

"Couldn't be better" Niall gave back. "You'll never guess what happened."

"Did you and Zayn finally get it together and snogged?"

For a second, Niall just stared at him, and then he chuckled. "Okay so maybe you can guess."

"What?" Sean asked wide eyed. "Really?"

"Yeah" Niall laughed happily. "Now come in, I wanna introduce you to my friends."

"Wait, Niall, hey" Sean said, grabbing his wrist. "I'm not gonna say I told you so – even though I did –but I'm really happy for you. You deserve it."

"Thanks, Seanie" Niall gave back, using the affectionate nickname he'd given Sean when they were kids. His approval meant a lot to him.

Introducing Sean to Harry, Liam and Louis was easy since they'd all heard about each other, and the pat he gave Zayn on the back in greeting had something congratulatory.

"I know we said we wouldn’t, but I told him" Niall shrugged when he caught Zayn's gaze over Sean's shoulder. "He knew about _my_ feelings anyway."

"What?" Louis asked. "You were planning to keep it a secret? Are you mad, you've barely kept your hands off each other since you've gotten your heads out of arses."

"Not secret, Lou" Zayn explained. "Just not, like, shove it down everyone's throat.” He turned back to look at Niall, eyebrows pulled together. “Was that when we were over at Sean's and you stayed away for so long?"

"See" Sean grinned, elbowing Niall, "told you he was jealous."

Niall grinned back and skipped over to hug Zayn around the waist. "It was. No making out, just me whining about you."

"Not gonna lie, Darragh had me worried there for a second." Zayn still had a light frown on his face, but his eyes were crinkling in the corners.

"Nothing to worry about" Niall assured him, kissing him quickly and ignoring their friends' groans when Zayn's hands slid up his waist.

"You're smiling now" Niall heard Liam gravely say to who he assumed was Sean. "But believe me, it gets old after like the thousandth time."

Niall strongly disagreed.

-

Kissing Zayn hadn't gotten old several hours into the party, when still no one had caught on or at least not said anything.

It certainly didn't feel any less thrilling than any kiss they'd shared before that when he pushed Zayn up against the kitchen counter, cornering him.

Not from the way Zayn's eyes were glistening with something almost wild in the dim light of the room, or the way his lips tasted when Niall finally got his mouth where he wanted it.

Away from everyone else, Zayn let himself be dominated and Niall didn't know if it was the alcohol or if this was a normal thing, but he sure as hell wasn't complaining.

Zayn moaned quietly and Niall pushed even closer, frantically licking into Zayn's mouth, hands twisting in his dark hair.

Suddenly Zayn's fingertips were skidding across Niall's skin just above his waistband, pushing upwards under his shirt.

Niall bit Zayn's bottom lip, making the darker man hiss, and slid his thigh in between Zayn's.

His skin felt on fire, and his own hand under Zayn's shirt couldn't touch enough to get some relief, to ease the heat. Instead, it just sparked the heat low in his belly.

"Um."

Niall and Zayn sprung apart, breathless and flushed, turning towards the door to find Emma and Shanon staring at them.

"Uh..." Niall made, sheepishly giving a small wave. "Hey?"

"Did we miss something?" Emma asked, quite obviously fighting a grin. "I seem to recall you telling us only two days ago there wasn't anything going on."

Niall chuckled, not sure how to explain things. "Things change?" he tried.

"We can see that." Shanon had a huge smile on her face and she was gripping Emma's upper arm. "I'm so happy!"

"Um, thanks" Zayn said, sounding slightly dazed and very confused.

"It's just that we've been rooting for you two since the beginning" she explained, and Emma nodded along. "All of us, together with like the whole world. I can't believe it's taken you so long!"

"When did it happen? And how?" Emma wanted to know and Zayn and Niall laughed, looking at each other with bashful smiles.

"I guess we finally talked about things" Niall started with a shrug. "Like, we almost kissed that night after the pub and apparently that finally was enough to make us talk about it."

“Awww” both girls made, and Emma pressed a hand to her chest.

"He's making me sound better in this version of the story" Zayn added. "I would've fucked everything up if Niall's parents hadn't talked some sense into me."

"Well, they were part of team zaynandniall too" Emma grinned. "You should've heard Maura gush about you two to granny over the phone."

Niall shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe this, how did everyone figure it out before us?"

Zayn only tugged him closer and kissed his temple, making the girls squeal.

"Can we tell everyone? Here, I mean?" Shanon asked.

Niall and Zayn looked at each other.

"We kind of wanted to keep it under wraps for a while" Zayn explained, "away from Niall’s fans and the press, you know. But if you make sure everybody out there doesn't tell anyone else, I don't see why not."

Both girls nodded understandingly. "We can do that."

They were gone from the kitchen in a blink and Niall turned to hug Zayn properly, arms around his waist.

"You alright?"

"Yeah" Zayn mumbled, holding him tightly. "I don't mind your friends knowing, I'm surprised they haven't figured it out on their own already."

"Harry told me earlier it's because we apparently already acted like a couple before" Niall said. "He said only the kissing is new and as long as we don't do that in front of everyone, it'd be hard to tell the difference."

Zayn laughed quietly. "So basically more proof that we've been unnecessarily slow."

"Exactly" Niall grinned and leaned back a bit so he could kiss Zayn. "We should probably get back outside."

"Find out what your friends have done" Zayn agreed. "Come on."

As soon as they stepped outside, hand in hand, loud cheers erupted from the people gathered in the garden.

"We wanted to congratulate you for finally opening your bloody eyes" Darragh laughed as he took a step closer to hug them both. "It was about time."

"Thanks, guys. I'm" Niall said with a smile, pausing to look over at Zayn. " _we're_ really happy you're so supportive, but we still kind of hoped we could keep this between us for as long as possible, I hope you understand that."

"You know we're not the types to try and make money out of your fame" Dylan assured him. "Your secret's safe with us."

Everyone nodded along to that and Niall was pretty sure his heart would burst from all the love he felt for those people sometime soon.

Closer to the house, on his right side, he could see his parents, Greg and Denise and they were all smiling just as widely as he was.

He only had about half a day left with them here before he and Zayn would meet up with his new bodyguard and leave to reunite with the rest of the crew, but he wanted to make sure they all knew he knew how lucky he was to have them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i said this wouldn’t take as long as the last one…that was obviously a lie, sorry. i'll try to be quicker with the next one, but uni's a lot more work than expected this semester.

**Niall Horan and Zayn Malik – secret romantic getaway?**

**Almost a week after their arrival in Ireland, it still seems as if bodyguard Zayn Malik (21) is the only part of singer Niall Horan’s (17) crew to have come with him.**

**They reportedly spent all of** **their time off** **together, with pictures of them going out with Horan’s friends popping up everywhere. Just last night, the singer celebrated his 17 th birthday with friends and family and the released photos make it seem as if Malik didn’t leave his side all night.**

**Another report places them in a car – apparently the Horan’s family car – heading away from the pop star’s hometown Mullingar the morning before the party. “I swear I saw them kissing in the back of the car, they were past us too quickly to take a picture or to see who was driving, but I know it was them” a source tells us.**

**Again, this adds fuel to the rumours about the nature of their relationship they’re both so quick to deny and makes us wonder: Was it really just Horan bringing his bodyguard along for safety or could this have been a secret romantic getaway?**

-

Breakfast was a loud occasion the morning after Niall’s birthday.

Niall, Zayn, Louis, Liam and Harry had all slept in what resemble a dog pile in Niall's room while Denise and Greg had taken his, and it was their last morning together, so they tried to make the most of it.

Even though Niall was looking forward to touring again, the thought of not seeing his family and friends for a while made him kind of sad.

They'd all be coming to his first Dublin show that evening, but after that it meant telling them goodbye for at least several weeks.

"Tell Greg that story about what happened in Ipswich, was it?" Maura suggested.

Niall looked over at Zayn who'd snorted into his breakfast and laughed too, turning to face his curious friends and brother before he launched into another funny story.

It was how they spent most of the morning, catching up on what had been happening in each other's lives, laughing more than was advisable when you were trying to have breakfast.

When the doorbell rang shortly before noon they were still sitting there.

Niall went to get it, opening the door to a bulky but very friendly looking man in a black t-shirt.

"Hi, Niall?" he said, waiting for the blond to nod. "I'm Paul Higgins; I'm your new bodyguard."

"Oh, hi" Niall grinned, offering him a handshake. "We've been expecting you, come in."

He’d been curious to meet this mysterious man that Claire had contacted after Zayn had told her he didn’t want to be head of Niall’s security anymore. He showed Paul inside, taking him into the living room where everyone was waiting.

"Sorry for the welcome, I swear they're not all here to examine you" Niall chuckled and Paul laughed quietly.

Niall already thought he'd like him.

"Mr Higgins!" Maura exclaimed. "I'm Maura, Niall's mum, we talked on the phone yesterday."

"You did?" Niall asked at the same time as Paul told her to call him by his first name.

"He rang for you, darling, but you weren't here obviously, you were at the beach" Maura explained. “So we chatted for a bit.”

“And you’ve talked to him too already, right?” Niall turned to Zayn.

“Yeah, I wanted to get an idea of who was gonna take care of you” Zayn answered with a half-smile towards Paul.

Niall chuckled. “Seems like it’s a thing I meet my crew last. It’s alright though” he added hurriedly. “I trust you to pick the right people, Zayn.”

“You’re staying for lunch, right?” Maura asked, reminding Niall he had to look away from Zayn at some point. “It’ll be nice to get to know Paul here a bit and you’ve got plenty of time before the show tonight.”

"Not that much time, mum" Niall said. "We've got a lot to do before shows, especially with this being the first one after the break."

"We'll be alright for lunch though, I think" Zayn disagreed. "It's not that far to Dublin and it's still quite early. I can show Paul everything while you get ready later at the venue."

"As if I'm gonna miss one of my mum's meals if I don't have to" Niall grinned. "If Paul is alright with that?"

"You've made me quite curious about that food now" Paul said with a wink. "So yeah, sure, let's have lunch here."

"We get to keep you for a little bit longer!" Harry cheered before turning to Paul. "I'm Harry by the way, and these are Louis and Liam, we're here for Niall's birthday party yesterday."

"Oh, happy late birthday in that case."

"Thanks" Niall smiled and waited for Harry to distract Paul again before gesturing for Zayn to follow him.

In his room, Niall hugged Zayn around the waist and pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, making his boyfriend smile.

"What is it, love?" Zayn asked.

"I was just wondering...what about Paul? Should we tell him?"

“I don’t know” Zayn said, rubbing circles across Niall’s shoulder blades. “It’d be hard hiding it from someone who’s always around, wouldn’t it?”

“ _So_ hard” Niall agreed. “So…we tell him later in the car?”

“Alright with me” Zayn nodded.

He grabbed Niall’s chin softly, tilting his head upwards before pressing a light kiss to his lips.

“Can’t waste the opportunity” he murmured and Niall smiled, pressing closer and connecting their lips once more.

They broke apart when Niall’s phone buzzed in his pocket a while later and he moved to get it out.

_uve been gone for suspiciously long come back pls_

Niall sighed and showed Zayn Harry’s text, getting up from the bed they’d somehow relocated to.

“Guess we should, after all Paul is my bodyguard and I should get to know him.”

“Sorry for hogging you” Zayn smirked.

“You can hog me anytime” Niall grinned back, lifting onto his toes to peck Zayn’s lips quickly before turning around and walking towards the lounge where they could hear everyone’s voices.

As inconspicuous as possible, they slipped back into the room and sat down on one of the sofas next to Harry and Liam. It was a bit of a tight fit but no one except for the two getting squished beside them so much as looked their way.

“Always sneaking off to snog, huh?” Harry teased quietly and Niall blushed but shook his head.

“Technically we had to talk about something.”

“But you ended up kissing anyway?” Liam asked knowingly.

“Well, yeah” Niall shrugged as nonchalantly as possible, fighting down the blush.

Liam and Harry both chuckled and shook their heads but Niall decided to ignore them, focusing on Paul instead.

-

"You're all gonna be there tonight, right?" Niall asked as he hugged his mum at the door.

"Of course, sweetheart" she assured him. "Everyone's really excited already."

His mum let him go to pass him on to his dad who hugged Niall just as tightly.

"And to the party afterwards?"

"Yes, Nialler. We're gonna be there."

"You're not gonna miss us more now than you did before, are you?" Maura asked. "You've got Zayn to take care of you."

Niall smiled in Zayn's direction. "I know I do."

Zayn stepped up to them, pressing a light kiss to Niall's temple before turning to his parents. "I promise I'll take good care of him."

"I trust you completely, my love" Maura said, kissing Zayn on both cheeks. "You've made us all very happy here."

Before Zayn had a chance to reply, Bobby had gripped his shoulder, pulling him into a hug too.

"Thank you, son" he said, and suddenly Niall very much felt like crying.

"Stop, you're gonna make me cry" Harry piped up from somewhere, causing Niall to chuckle wetly at his own being voiced.

He held on to the hand Zayn had offered him and saw Paul glancing their way curiously, looking between them and his parents.

It was probably time to explain some things to him.

"Go on, we'll see you tonight" Maura said, wiping her eyes. "What are we all crying for?"

"See you later" Niall said with a wave and pulled Zayn away, unwilling to let his tears win the fight.

They got into the car waiting for them, closely followed by a very confused Paul.

"Sorry about that" Niall said sheepishly and Paul laughed.

"To be honest, I feel like I've missed a couple of things here." He gestured between the two of them, looking at where they were pressed closely into each other’s sides.

"Yeah..." Zayn said slowly, carefully. "Maybe you've heard those rumours about Niall and me?"

"I'm guessing they're not just rumours."

"Not anymore" Zayn explained. "It's all still very new and hush-hush though, since we wanted to keep it to ourselves for as long as possible."

"Who knows?"

"Apart from you only everyone you met earlier, my parents and a couple of Niall's friends. Claire might know too, but we haven't told her yet."

"And you think you're gonna be able to keep it secret with all those people knowing?"

"I trust them" Niall said. "Besides, we don't want to hide it forever or anything, just for a little while longer."

"Well, I better make sure you stay decent in public then, don't I?"

Niall grinned. "Exactly."

-

"Thank you all for coming here tonight. As you might know, this is a pretty special show for me, since it's the first one in Ireland, and that means a lot to me. There's also a lot of very special people in the audience tonight, and I love you all. If you're not one of those people I still love you, obviously. I just love you all, and I'm gonna stop rambling now because you probably came to hear me singing. So, yeah. Thank you. This is the last song tonight, I hope you had a great time, get home safe, I love you!"

Niall ran off the stage, waving, listening to all the people screaming up at him. He was hot and sweaty, high on adrenaline and the energy of the crowd and he just couldn't get the smile off his face.

Zayn was already waiting for him backstage and this time, Niall could finally do what he'd wanted to do after every show since pretty much the beginning.

Without slowing down, he ran towards him, jumping and wrapping his legs around his hips, arms around the shoulders.

Zayn stumbled backwards a bit but caught him, laughing into his mouth when they kissed.

Someone cleared their throat very close to them, startling both boys so much that Niall yelped and Zayn dropped him to his feet unceremoniously.

"I don't mind you celebrating at all" Paul said, "I just don't think it's beneficial to keeping the whole thing secret."

"Oh" Niall made. "Right, thanks. Good thing it was just you."

Zayn ran a hand through Niall's damp hair and kissed his cheek before taking a few steps back. "I'm proud of you."

A commotion by the door kept Niall from saying or doing anything overly emotional, so he just smiled at Zayn in a way that he hoped conveyed his feelings at least partly and opened his arms to hug everyone coming through the door.

The party after his first Ireland show was halfway to welcome back his crew and halfway to say goodbye to his Irish friends and family, which thankfully kept Niall busy enough so he didn't have to try too hard to keep his contact to Zayn subtle in front of the people who didn't know.

The downside was that he felt as if he hadn't seen him at all since the kiss.

He knew he wouldn't get a chance to sneak into his room later either because they'd be each sharing with their friends again and Niall thought he'd probably suffer from serious withdrawal by then.

When he approached his boyfriend it was already quite late and he was a bit drunk, so he didn't think twice about sidling up to him, fingers around his wrist.

"Come with me for a minute?" he whispered into his ear, grinning when Zayn shivered at the way Niall's lips brushed against the shell of his ear.

They left the room together, quietly slipping out of the door without anyone noticing them.

Zayn had Niall pressed up against the wall the minute they were alone, licking up the column of his throat, making Niall moan and hold on to his shoulders.

"Should we... _fuck_ , Zayn...do you think we should do this here?"

"Probably not" Zayn said, pressing their lips together in a needy kiss anyway. When they broke apart, panting, he added: "Where to then?"

"There's gotta be a room somewhere here where no one'll find us" Niall mumbled, distracted by the way Zayn's fingers had found their way under his shirt, caressing his bare skin.

"Haven't had you for myself all day" Zayn said. "I've missed you."

Niall laughed quietly. "I can't believe I'm saying this since we literally haven't been more than a few feet apart today but I've missed you too."

"Keeping secrets sucks."

"Do you want to stop?"

"No" Zayn said. "Or yes, I would if it wouldn’t mean what it does in our situation. I just wish it wasn’t necessary."

"Yeah, I do too" Niall sighed. "Now come on, let's find somewhere we can make out properly."

-

"Should we get back to the party some time?" Zayn asked against Niall's lips, not making a move to let him go anytime soon. 

"Probably" Niall mumbled without backing away either. 

He could feel Zayn smiling before he ducked down and started nibbling on his lower lip playfully. 

“Come on” Zayn said eventually, pulling back with one last peck. “It’s your last night with friends and family, we should head back.”

"Alright" Niall sighed. "Not yet though, everyone'll know with one look at us where we've been." 

"Those who know about us can probably tell either way, but you're right. Subtlety and all." 

“Don’t think we’re all that good with that” Niall laughed, reaching up and carding his fingers through Zayn’s hair in an attempt to make it look as perfect as usual.

"We're pretty terrible, I reckon." 

"How long d'you reckon we can keep it a secret?" 

"I don't know, guess we're just gonna have to let it happen, yeah?" 

"Yeah" Niall shrugged, stepping closer so he could cuddle into Zayn's side. "I wouldn't mind that much if everyone knew, I'm just kind of worried about the reaction we'd get. Like, remember that interviewer who said there were people having a problem with our age difference?" 

"We've got to expect that, yes. But look on the bright side," Zayn said with a half-smile. "Most of the yellow press seems to be completely on our side." 

Niall laughed. "True, with how loudly they've been rooting for us they can't really switch sides now."

"I still think we should wait a bit longer though, don't you?"

"No, definitely" Niall nodded. "I don't really need to find out what everyone and their mother think about our relationship yet."

"Good."

Zayn kissed him briefly, straightening out his collar.

"You're about to say we should get back to the others, right?" Niall asked.

"We've been gone for long enough" Zayn confirmed with a crooked grin. "Don't look so mopey."

"I'm not moping" Niall protested.

"Great" Zayn said. "I'm sure your family will appreciate that."

Niall hit his shoulder playfully but pulled him in for a kiss right after, so it probably wouldn't have seemed very menacing anyway.

"Watch it, mister" Zayn laughed and took his hand to lead him back to the party.

-

Sneaking back into the room wasn't as easy as sneaking out, and when they slipped through the door there were too many people looking at them, too many knowing smirks directed their way.

Niall blushed but tried to act as if he didn't notice anything, going over to talk to his cousin Emma who winked at him.

"I guess about half of the people in here already knew anyway" she said "and the other half definitely suspects something now."

"I think it's more likely they see their suspicions as confirmed now" Niall sighed. "I don't think there's anyone who didn't already suspect something."

“Well, subtlety has never really been your thing” Emma grinned. “It’s okay though, very cute. As long as you don’t snog in public no one will notice a change, I don’t think.”

Niall laughed, shaking his head. “Definitely don’t plan on doing that just yet.”

-

When Niall woke up the next morning it was to Zayn peppering soft kisses all over his face, and he made a sleepy, pleased sound.

“Morning, sunshine” Zayn whispered, standing up from where he’d apparently been sitting on the edge of Niall’s bed.

“Morning” Niall mumbled back. “What time is it?”

“It’s past ten, time to get up and pack. We need to leave here before noon.”

Niall groaned and pushed his face into the pillows for a moment before rubbing his eyes and sitting up. “How long’ve you been up for?”

“A couple of hours” Zayn shrugged. “Paul and I had some things to discuss before we start touring properly again. Now come on, I ordered breakfast to be brought up here. Go shower, get dressed, it’ll be here by then.”

“You’re the best” Niall said with an adoring sigh and jumped out of bed.

Breakfast was there when Niall was ready, and so much of it that he had to pressure Zayn into having some too so they wouldn’t let too much go to waste.

“I can’t believe I let you feed me all of that” Zayn groaned when they were done. “I already had breakfast with Paul earlier.”

“That was hours ago though” Niall said. “Besides, my mum kept telling you how you’re too skinny and need to eat more, so I’m only doing what she asked me to.”

Zayn smiled fondly and leaned over to kiss him. “That’s very sweet of your mum, but I still feel bloated now.”

“Aw” Niall mocked him, climbing onto his boyfriend’s lap so he was straddling him. “Have I messed with your diet plan?”

“Shut up” Zayn laughed, pinching his sides. “Use that mouth of yours for something more productive than making fun of me.”

Niall leaned down to do just that, stopping shortly before their lips met. “I haven’t brushed my teeth though.”

“I don’t care” Zayn positively growled, crossing the distance between them and kissing Niall like his life depended on it right away.

Not that Niall minded, tangling his fingers in Zayn’s hair that was getting longer, long enough to get a nice grip on it.

Zayn pulled away a bit later, already breathless. “You just taste like breakfast.”

Niall laughed, burying his face in the crook of the older man’s neck.

There was a knock on the door and Niall scrambled off Zayn’s lap as quickly as possible.

“Everyone decent in there?” Paul’s voice came from outside and Niall relaxed.

“Yeah, Paul” Zayn replied with a laugh. “Come in.”

“Better safe than sorry” Paul said when he opened the door and winked at them. “Morning, Niall. Bet you’re not as tired as Zayn and me.”

“Morning” Niall smiled. “And yeah, reckon you pulled the short straw.”

"Don't make fun of us" Paul warned jokingly. "You ready to go?"

-

Not even an hour later, Niall took a picture of Zayn and Paul, both of them asleep. Zayn's head was resting on Paul's shoulder and Paul's head on top of Zayn's.

It made Niall smile and he tweeted it with the caption: " **look what a great security team ive got ! Zayn and paul are knackered hahah !** "

What wasn't visible on the picture were Niall's toes tucked under Zayn's thigh, and Zayn's fingers wrapped around his ankle.

-

The days on tour bled into each other, show following show, interview over interview.

Niall stopped answering overly personal questions to avoid having to lie, and surprisingly journalists seemed to accept his decision, focusing more on his music.

Before they knew it, the two and a half weeks of touring Ireland were over, and Zayn and Niall were back in London.

Paul had stayed behind in Ireland at his home, but he'd made sure no one noticed them at the airport this time.

Everything went as planned, their car already waiting for them at London Heathrow, set to take them to their meeting with Claire.

"Niall! Zayn!" Niall's agent greeted them enthusiastically with a hug each. "I've missed you, how do you feel?"

"Tired" Niall laughed. "But great. This was the most amazing thing I've ever done."

They were ushered to their seats and Claire smiled at them expectantly.

"You're probably wondering what I called you in for right away" she said. "But then again I'm sure you realise we've got a few things to talk about."

Zayn and Niall exchanged a glance before nodding.

"Firstly, obviously how it's going to go on from here. Zayn, you resigned from your spot as Niall's head of security, but you haven't resigned completely. Would you like to tell me what your plans are now?"

"Um, well" Zayn made, glancing at Niall from the corner of his eye. "We haven't really talked about it yet, but...I think I'll be fine as long as I don't have to be alone in a situation like at the airport again. If Niall still wants me as his bodyguard, that is."

"I'm gonna need you to be honest with me now, because I think I understood what you were trying to tell me over the phone, but I'll have to know the nature of your relationship before I can make any decisions."

Zayn hesitated but Niall smiled at him and took his hand, looking at Claire.

"What would it mean for Zayn if we were dating?"

Claire's face softened. "I'll take that as my confirmation, yeah? And don't worry, I just wanted to know what we'd be dealing with. If Zayn thinks he can deal with it, I trust him."

"Will we be keeping Paul?" Niall asked.

"If he wants to" Claire nodded. "I'd be delighted. Actually, I was thinking of making him and you, Zayn, security and tour managers at the same time, if you'd be interested. You've got lots of time to learn from him before the next tour, as you won't be needing that much yet for the tour with Ed Sheeran."

"What?" Niall interrupted, his grip on Zayn's hand tightening. "Wait, what? Is that a done deal now? Is that really happening?"

"That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about" Claire smiled. "Yes, we have closed the contract on this one this morning."

"Oh my god" Niall said, turning to look at Zayn, feeling slightly out of his depth.

Zayn just smiled brightly and lifted Niall's hand, that was still clasping his, up to his lips to brush them against his knuckles. "Congrats, babe."

Niall let out a huff and pulled on Zayn's hand, connecting their lips in a quick, bruising kiss.

"I can't believe this" he mumbled, pulling away.

"I suppose this is probably enough for today, isn't it?" Claire asked. "We'll arrange another meeting soon enough to talk about this and the things you'll be doing in between and to prepare for the tour. For today though, go home, unpack, settle back in.

"And - I assume you want to keep your relationship private for now?" Niall was still unable to do anything but stare but he could see Zayn nod in his periphery. "So that obviously means you can't go out as much as you might want to. Just keep a low profile, yeah?"

"We can do that" Zayn said. "Thanks, Claire."

He turned to Niall, brushing his thumb across the back of his boyfriend's hand to get his attention.

"Come on, love. Let's go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think there's just one or two chapters left now :) thanks for all the support so far, it has exceeded all of my expectations by far!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, i felt like it was time niall and zayn explored another side of their relationship, so there's gonna be smut in this chapter. it's not very graphic since i somehow had trouble with that for this fic, but there's both bottom!niall and bottom!zayn, just as a warning since i've seen people get upset about not being warned. hope you like this! :)

"Oh for god's sake, Niall, stop crying" Louis groaned, kicking at Niall from where he was lying on the sofa.

"'m not crying" the blonde mumbled in reply, swaying a little when he tried to dodge Louis' kicks.

"Moaning, whining, whatever you wanna call it, stop doing it. Just tell him you want to fuck and get this over with."

"Lou" Harry gasped, drunk and scandalised.

"What?" Louis asked. "That's what this is all about, and I'm sure it'd work out fine. This is Zayn we're talking about after all, I'm sure he thinks he's being chivalrous by waiting."

"He hasn't made a move though" Niall mumbled, face buried in his pillow. "What if he doesn't want me in that way?"

"Bullshit" Louis said with finality.

"I agree with Louis, Nialler" Harry announced, sitting up straighter, facing Niall and folding his hands under his chin. "Zayn obviously wants you in any way possible. You two are sickening."

It wasn't quite possible for Niall not to smile at that, because yes, even almost three months into their relationship he and Zayn still couldn't really keep their hands off each other.

"I don't think it's sickening."

"I know, and neither does he. Just signal him you're ready to take the next step."

Niall didn't reply, burying his face deeper in the pillow.

They were at his flat, more drunk than intended, and for some reason he'd told his friends about the frustration it caused him that Zayn always stopped before things could go anywhere.

There was the single glorious occasion when they'd made out on the sofa heatedly and for once, Zayn hadn't stopped grinding until they'd both come in their pants.

But apart from that and that one time Zayn had been drunk enough to let his hand wander down the front of Niall's trousers, he always put their snogging sessions on hold when they were just getting somewhere.

Louis' explanation did sound very Zayn though, he might well be thinking he was doing Niall a favour by waiting.

Niall sat up, turning to where Harry and Louis were trying to push each other off the sofa.

"I'll tell him" he announced.

"Hooray!" Louis yelled, sitting on Harry's stomach. "More drinks on that!"

-

Waking up was hell and at the same time better than expected.

Niall's throat was dry, his tongue heavy and his head pounding, but there were strong fingers massaging his scalp, making the pain bearable.

Blinking, he looked up at Zayn who smiled down at him.

"Good morning" he murmured, not ceasing the movement of his fingers. "I brought you a glass of water and a pain killer, how about you take a shower and I start my famous hangover breakfast?"

"Sounds good" Niall croaked, even though the thought of food made his stomach turn.

"Alright, see you in a bit" Zayn said with a soft kiss to Niall's forehead and got up.

Niall groaned to himself pathetically and wondered why they'd kept drinking. If they'd stuck to beer he wouldn't be this hung over either, but apparently they had thought it a good idea to drink other stuff too, he didn't even really remember what.

Groaning some more, he made his way to the shower, the warm water making him feel slightly more alive.

He got dressed in sweatpants and a soft jumper again, toweling his hair until it was merely damp and probably sticking up everywhere, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Zayn was leaning against the kitchen counter when Niall stumbled in, smiling in that way that always made Niall's knees weak, the way he smiled at no one but Niall.

"Morning" Niall mumbled sheepishly. "This feels kind of like a deja-vu, actually."

"Kind of" Zayn chuckled, pushing himself off the counter and crossing the space between them to press a soft kiss to the corner of Niall's mouth. "With some additional benefits."

Niall smiled and wrapped his arms around Zayn's waist, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and breathing in his familiar scent.

"'m not making a very good impression like this."

"No need to impress me anymore, love" Zayn laughed. "Come on, let's have breakfast to get you back on your feet, yeah?"

Niall hummed but tried getting even closer to Zayn instead of moving away.

Zayn laughed quietly again and resumed stroking up and down his boyfriend's back.

"We can cuddle on the sofa later, but you should really eat something to get rid of that hangover."

"But you'll take a nap with me right after?" Niall clarified.

"Promise, babe."

-

The second time Niall woke up was a lot nicer than the first one.

He and Zayn had taken a nap on the narrow sofa, which resulted in them being pressed closely together, legs intertwined and Niall's head pillowed on Zayn's chest.

Niall felt like he hadn't slept better in ages.

Zayn was awake when Niall woke up, he could tell from his breathing and the occasional soft touch to the back of his neck.

Niall yawned and lifted his head off Zayn's chest slowly.

"Hafta take a wee" he mumbled sleepily and got up, trying not to jostle Zayn too much.

In the bathroom he took the opportunity to brush his teeth too, finally getting rid of the last traces of his hangover.

When he got back to the lounge, Zayn was still lying on the sofa looking warm and cuddly and Niall didn't hesitate before rejoining him.

"Feeling better?" Zayn asked.

"Loads" Niall smiled. "Thank you."

He tilted his head upwards to kiss Zayn properly for the first time that day.

The older man hummed appreciatively and flipped them over so he was hovering over Niall, kissing him happily.

They broke apart not long after and Zayn returned them to their former position facing each other.

"You know" he said quietly, tracing the bumps along Niall's spine. "I only came as prepared as I was this morning because I could tell how much you'd been drinking from your texts."

"Which texts?" Niall asked, frowning. He constantly texted Zayn about one thing or the other when they weren't together but he couldn't remember anything that would've given away the state of his inebriation.

Wordlessly, Zayn got his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Niall.

"Oh my god." His face had probably taken on a crimson colour and Niall felt the sudden need to run and hide when he stared at the last texts he'd sent Zayn last night.

**U dotn need to s top when we kiss**

**I dont wnar u to**

**Want u to fuck me**

**Zaynue**

**Zaynie**

**Pleade dontstop nect time**

Zayn hadn't stopped the movement of his hand and when Niall peeked up at him through his eyelashes he was grinning.

"It's okay, you don't have to be embarrassed, Ni. Even if it weren't for all the mistakes I would've known you'd never text me that sober."

Niall didn't say anything.

"Baby?"

Clearing his throat, Niall lifted his head, looking at Zayn shyly.

"I meant it, though."

Zayn blinked.

"I mean, I wouldn't have said it like that, obviously. But. I'm ready, you know? We...if you want to, we could, um...do more than kissing."

"You meant it?" Zayn repeated, voice rough.

It sounded very sexy and Niall decided it was time to just go for it.

"Yeah" he said, sitting up and lifting one leg across Zayn's hips, straddling him.

Sitting down, he purposely wriggled his hips, watching in delight as Zayn closed his eyes, shuddering.

"Zayn" he whispered. "I’m ready to have sex with you. I want you to fuck me."

Zayn let out a hoarse groan, his hands gripping Niall's hips tightly.

"Oh my god" he mumbled, bucking his hips up when Niall started grinding slowly.

"Maybe we should've talked about this earlier" Niall said breathlessly.

He leaned down to kiss Zayn who responded enthusiastically, one hand cupping the back of Niall's neck, holding him in place.

His other hand moved from Niall's hip to his back, rubbing circles and finally slipping underneath his shirt.

The noise Niall made was caught in Zayn's mouth but still audible, a sort of high-pitched whine he'd be embarrassed about if he wasn't so turned on.

Zayn bit his lower lip and pulled away, scrambling to push Niall's jumper up until it was bunched up under his armpits.

"This okay?"

"Yeah" Niall breathed and lifted his arms to help him get the jumper off. "Yours too."

Zayn sat up and pulled his shirt off too, kissing the column of Niall's neck and the underside of his jaw, littering bruises all over the pale skin there.

Instead of lying back down, he flipped them over like he had earlier, hovering over Niall for a few seconds and just staring at him before he leaned down and kissed him surprisingly softly.

Niall kissed him back, scratching Zayn's scalp lightly and smiling into the kiss.

He loved him, god.

"You're really sure about this?"

"Zayn, yeah" Niall sighed, sliding his hands down Zayn's sides. "I've wanted this - wanted _you_ \- for longer than we've been together, I'm more than sure."

He tilted his hips upwards underneath Zayn, trying to show him just how sure he was.

"Okay" Zayn breathed, dropping his forehead on Niall's shoulder. "Okay."

He pressed his lips to Niall's collarbone, his tongue suddenly darting out and licking across it, making Niall hiss.

Smirking, he made his way down Niall's chest.

When he took one of his nipples between his teeth and started sucking, Niall felt his back arch off the sofa, his mouth falling open.

Under Zayn's attention, it didn't take long for Niall to feel like he couldn't take it much longer.

His hands in Zayn's hair, making incoherent noises, he tried to tell Zayn he needed more, anything to relieve what he felt.

Zayn, whose kisses had wandered all the way down to Niall's waistband, hummed amused and slid back up the blonde's body to kiss him.

"Impatient, huh?" he teased, thumb slipping under the waistband.

Niall arched off the sofa again, grinding desperately in search of friction and Zayn indulged him for a minute, speeding up the movement of their hips.

When he suddenly stopped again, Niall whined once more, louder this time.

"Zayn" he begged. "Please."

Zayn distracted him by kissing him deeply, and suddenly he'd shoved his hand down the front of Niall's pants.

Niall gave a full body shudder and a loud groan when Zayn got his hand on his dick, pushing up into the delicious friction.

He gave an experimental tug and Niall felt like flying off the sofa, but instead of giving him a rest Zayn was kissing his neck again, stroking him from the base to the tip a couple of times before thumbing across the slit.

There'd be marks on Zayn's back from how tightly Niall was holding on, his fingernails leaving imprints behind on the skin.

"Zayn" Niall groaned and was rewarded with a bruising kiss.

Seamlessly, Zayn moved his kissed from Niall’s lips down his body until he was sucking bruises into the soft skin at his hips, making Niall release more breathy whines.

For some reason, it still came as a surprise for Niall when Zayn licked a fat stripe up his cock before focusing on the tip.

Startled, he gripped Zayn’s hair and tugged harshly, making Zayn groan around his dick.

“Zayn” he panted. “Not gonna last long, fuck.”

Instead of slowing down, Zayn took him in deeper, bobbing up and down enthusiastically. Niall had to look away and close his eyes, overwhelmed by the sight of Zayn’s spit slicked, pink lips stretched around him.

A steadying hand on his hip to keep from bucking up and a teasing touch to his balls was all it took for Niall to feel the muscles in his stomach tighten familiarly.

“Fuck, Zayn, I’m gonna come” he groaned, trying to push his boyfriend’s head away.

Zayn only hummed and traced the tip of his dick with his tongue before sucking gently.

Niall came with a shout, almost too blissed out to watch Zayn swallow.

“Fuck” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

Zayn smirked and kissed the inside of his thigh softly. “I just wanted to make you feel good.”

“That’d be the understatement of the year” Niall replied, threading his fingers through Zayn’s damp fringe. “Want me to return the favour?”

“Nah” Zayn said, finding his place next to Niall again and pulling him close. “Not now. I’d like to save that for when I actually fuck you.” He hesitated, uncertainty in his eyes again. “Only if you want me to, of course.”

Niall laughed quietly. “Stop asking me all the time, I haven’t changed my mind, especially not after this performance. If I could, I’d start round two right away, but I’m afraid someone down there needs a short break.”

Zayn smoothed his hand down Niall’s back and bit at his shoulder softly.

“Wanna go to your bed now?”

“Can we snog there?” Niall asked, already reaching for his boxers.

Zayn grinned. “With pleasure.”

-

The months before Niall would start touring with Ed Sheeran were mostly filled with promotion and working on his next album.

He knew he wanted it to be more his own this time around, and since he’d gotten very good reviews for the few songs he’d penned on his first album, he’d actually been able to convince Simon and the other producers to let him do most of the songwriting. It’d take longer to finish of course, but Niall didn’t really mind. He wasn’t in a rush.

He was in the press again for a little while when it turned out that one of the interns at Claire’s office had given out the information on that flight to Dublin, causing thousands of people to show up. This put him and Zayn into the spotlight a bit more again, but only for a short while.

The yellow press lost interest quickly when they weren’t getting new information, and the two of them were careful.

It was a busy time, but not a bad one.

-

"Harry told me not to ask, but that bruise makes it kinda hard to ignore." Louis pointed at something on Niall's hips and he looked down to see his shirt had ridden up, exposing a lovebite Zayn had left just above his waistband. "How's that problem you had a couple of weeks ago?"

Niall tugged his shirt down quickly, avoiding Louis' eye. "What problem?"

"What happened to you thinking Zayn didn't want to have sex with you?"

"Uh, well, he sort of cleared that up for me."

"Thought so" Louis mumbled to himself, and then raised his voice to a triumphant yell: "Hey Harry, they've fucked! I was right!"

There wasn't a reply from Harry, but instead Liam came around the corner. "What the bloody hell are you on about again?"

"I was just telling Harry that I was right when I said Niall and Zayn have definitely had sex because he didn't believe it when we talked about -"

"That's not what I said at all!" Harry, who had shown up too, protested. "I didn't not believe it, I just didn't want you to ask them and make them uncomfortable if they hadn't."

"Why are you talking about these things in the first place?" Zayn was standing in the doorway, frowning.

"Because we care about you" Louis defended himself. "And Niall was worried a couple of weeks ago."

Zayn crossed the room to squeeze onto the sofa next to Niall and Louis.

"And you talked to them first? Before you told me?"

"That's rich coming from you who rather let me wait than just asked me if I really wasn't ready yet."

They'd lowered their voices, bodies turned towards each other, heads bent close.

"Yeah, that seems odd now" Zayn smirked, even quieter, his lips so close to Niall's ear he had to supress a shudder. "Seeing how eager you are every time I fuck you. Or think of that one time I rode you and you just couldn't get enough."

"Zayn" Niall groaned quietly, shifting uncomfortably. "Stop, please."

But it was too late, his mind was filled with pictures of Zayn over him, fucking himself on Niall's cock, the way his face had looked like, head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut, jaw slack.

Niall thought he'd never see anything comparable ever again.

He shifted again, trousers gone uncomfortably tight, and Zayn's hot breath against his neck didn't help at all.

"We've got guests" Niall hissed and got up abruptly. "Anyone want a drink?"

-

Focusing on the film they were watching wasn't easy when Zayn seemed to have made it his mission to rile Niall up, pressing his fingers - and occasionally even worse, his lips - to any patch of skin he could reach, kissing his neck and behind his ears, or boldly grazing his fingers along the inseam of Niall's jeans, almost up to his crotch.

"Please stop" Niall almost whined. "Wait until the others are gone."

Zayn pressed his grin into the skin on Niall's shoulder he'd revealed by pulling on his shirt a few minutes earlier.

Surprising a gasp from him, he suddenly pulled Niall onto his lap, biting at his shoulder gently.

"You've brought this on yourself."

"How?" Niall asked. "What'd I do?"

"You've told your friends what you wanted before you told me."

"Because you were too thick to get it! It's not like I didn't try."

"Well" Zayn shrugged. "I'm trying now."

"Throw them out, then" Niall whispered. "If you're so impatient, you can have that honour."

"I quite enjoy teasing you a bit though. That's what you do every day, with your apparent aversion against shirts."

Niall chuckled quietly, purposely shuffling on Zayn's lap, his grin widening when he heard his breath catch.

"Takes one to know one, right?"

A couple of feet away from them, Harry suddenly yawned unnaturally loud.

"I'm very tired, lads" he said, nodding over at the TV where the credits had just started rolling. "Don't think I'm gonna make a second film."

“What are you on about, Harry?” Louis asked irritably. “Earlier you said –“

He stopped when Liam very unsubtly elbowed him and gave him a meaningful glance, his face lighting up in understanding.

“Oh” Louis made and nodded. “Right, I’m actually feeling a bit low myself, maybe we should call it a night, boys?”

Niall grinned as Liam and Harry eagerly agreed. Their friends were as subtle as a brick, but apparently so were Zayn and him if their friends had noticed it was time to leave.

He didn’t really have it in him to feel embarrassed by that though, because he’d been half hard for pretty much the whole evening and it was really starting to get old.

“Thanks for having us anyway” Liam called from the door. “Goodnight!”

Louis snickered at that and they could hear Liam shushing him before Harry looked into the living room one last time.

“We’ll swing by tomorrow around noon to send you off, alright? Can’t have you go on a big tour without saying goodbye.”

“I expected you to” Niall smiled, the fluttery feeling back in his stomach at the mention of the big tour awaiting him.

He’d be opening for Ed Sheeran!

Zayn’s grip on his waist tightened and he knew without looking what Zayn’s face looked like in this moment.  The only thing that made him happier than getting this opportunity was seeing how proud Zayn was of him.

He distantly heard the three boys shout their goodbyes, but way more prominent was the feeling of Zayn’s lips pressing into the soft skin right below his ear.

“I’m so proud of you.”

Niall shivered and moved out of Zayn’s grasp, only to turn around on his lap and straddle him instead, kissing him softly.

Zayn made a small sound and pulled him closer, one hand already slipping under his shirt.

“Zayn” Niall mumbled, pulling away breathlessly. “Please, can we…earlier, when you reminded me of - I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Can’t stop thinking about what, baby?” Zayn asked, hand slipping down to Niall’s butt.

“You riding me.”

Zayn’s eyes went wide, and darker somehow.

“Yeah?” he hummed, voice low. “You want a repeat of that?”

His skin was hot against Niall’s where he could feel it and a shiver ran down his spine. “Fuck, please.”

The word tilted when Zayn suddenly stood up, lifting Niall up with him.

Niall let out a surprised giggle and wrapped his legs around the other man’s waist.

“To the bedroom?” he asked.

Zayn kissed him quickly, lips curving up in a smile. “To the bedroom.”

-

They were in Paris, and Niall couldn’t believe this was his life.

It’d already felt unreal touring around the UK and Ireland with Ed, the crowds he performed in front of every night were so much bigger than what he was used to, and it was exhilarating.

Now, however, that feeling was only amplified by the fact that those were people who couldn’t have seen him on TV while he was on The X Factor, who shouldn’t have heard from him at all.

But they’d already played in a couple of cities in Belgium, the Netherlands, Sweden, Norway and Denmark, and everywhere he’d heard at least a part of the crowd sing along to his songs.

It was incredible.

The whole experience was amazing, he was travelling to countries he’d never been to, got to see things he’d never even dreamed of. He and Zayn weren’t as well-known here as they were in the UK and it was great not to always be on the watch. They could go sightseeing like normal people, and occasionally even act like a couple in relative public, go on dates, take kissing pictures in front of sights.

Niall was happy.

For today, they’d planned a typical sightseeing day in Paris, since the first show wouldn’t be until the next evening and they had the whole day off.

They’d started by going out for a proper French breakfast, sitting outside in front of a small boulangerie near their hotel, enjoying the first warm sunrays. It was late march and the days were starting to get warmer and warmer.

They’d then gotten onto a Métro train to the Jardin des Tulleries and took a walk from one end to the other before getting back on the Métro and driving two more stops to the Champs de Mars, from where they could admire the Eiffel Tower.

They hadn’t gotten on the elevator to get up to the platform because Niall didn’t think he’d be able to get into a glass box with that many people, and Zayn hadn’t been all that broken up about it, considering he wasn’t exactly fond of heights.

They’d  had a lovely view at the tower from the Trocadéro anyway.

Now, Zayn was trying to make sense of the Métro plan he was holding, trying to figure out where they’d have to go to get to Sacré Cœur and the Montmartre.

“I don’t speak French” he grumbled.

“Neither do I” Niall grinned, looping his arm through Zayn’s. “Come on, it can’t be hard, it’s a map like any other one. Not that different from the tube, yeah?”

“Still in French” Zayn mumbled, looking at the sheet of paper crossly.

“What was it like when you first moved to London?” Niall asked. “It seemed like a foreign language to me too. Westbound, eastbound, Circle Line, Victoria Line – it didn’t make any sense to me. These are numbered at least, I’m sure we can figure it out.”

“Yeah” Zayn agreed, handing the plan over to him.  “It kinda felt like that to me too. Still wish I could speak French.”

“You could take classes” Niall suggested with a grin.

“On top of everything I’m learning from Paul? No thanks.” Zayn grinned back.

“You’re just lazy” Niall teased. “Sleep too much.”

“Don’t act as if you don’t like it, most of it is with you anyway.”

Niall laughed and grabbed his hand to pull him along. “Come on, Sleepyhead. Paris has got a lot more to show us.”

He let go of Zayn’s hand and started skipping ahead a few metres before stopping again, only to stretch out his arms and turn on the spot a couple of times.

Niall laughed, his head thrown back, and spun faster until he nearly stumbled over his own feet, slowing down again.

“I am literally the luckiest guy in the world” he said. “All I do is play some tunes and somehow it got me all of this – most importantly, it got me you. The greatest boyfriend I could imagine.” He looked at Zayn from where he stood a few feet away, soft smile on his face. “I suppose I’m being sappy right now, but we’re in _Paris_ after all, the city o-“

“God, I love you” Zayn blurted out, and it was obvious he hadn’t planned to say it like that. He composed himself quickly though, nodding, and repeated: “I love you, Niall Horan, no matter how sappy you are in the middle of Paris, and what place could be better to finally tell you than the city of love, right?”

“Right” Niall agreed, his heart thudding as he crossed the space between them. “Just in case you haven’t noticed already: I love you, too.”

He looked up at Zayn, who looked down on him with this soft expression he’d seen on him so often, and Niall realised that this whole confession had probably been a bit unnecessary. They’d loved each other for way longer, and somewhere deep down, they’d probably known it too.

Zayn smiled and cupped his cheek, and then he leaned down slowly, pressing his lips to Niall’s very softly, almost carefully.

Niall lifted himself onto his tiptoes and wrapped his arms around Zayn’s neck, determined to make this kiss as meaningful as possible.

They were stood in the middle of Paris, the Eiffel Tower in sight, lost in each other.

Neither of them wasted a thought on the people around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for sticking around this long! i'm pretty sure there's only one chapter left now


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. first things first: this has taken me way too long, and i'm very sorry! but, if that makes it better, this is very nearly 10k long (missed it by like 200 words) and it's hopefully an alright ending for this whole fic.  
> i'll put the sappy thank yous and what not in the end note, so you can look forward to that for after you've finished (if you skip it that's fine with me too haha), but one more thing before we start: there's a bit more smut in this chapter, and the beginning of the last smut scene is actually something the lovely [kendra](http://www.stripezme.tumblr.com) sent to me as an ask one time when i complained about struggling with finding an ending. i've adjusted it so it fits, but if you follow me on [tumblr](http://www.kissingziall.tumblr.com), you might recognise it. thanks for the inspiration, love!!  
> enjoy! :)

“Shit, shit, shit!”

Zayn kept restlessly marching from one side of the room to the other, tearing at his hair and swearing occasionally.

Niall was sat on the bed, he hadn’t said anything since they’d gotten back to the room and checked their phones.

It hadn’t been more than a couple of hours since they’d kissed by the Eiffel Tower, but apparently the pictures were all over the internet.

And so was the outrage.

All of the websites and online magazines that had had their back had taken a 180 degree turn and were suddenly writing about their "scandalous age difference" as if it was any of their concern.

Or illegal, for that matter.

Hundreds of websites had used the pictures of them kissing for their headline of the day, riling each other up and creating more and more drama.

They’d felt so safe before, in their anonymity, but apparently plenty of French people had recognised them and taken pictures, shared them on social media.

Just as everything on the internet that got more than a few people interested, the photos had spread like wildfire.

"They can't do anything to you" Niall tried calming Zayn down. "We haven't done anything illegal."

"This isn't about me, Ni" Zayn sighed, sitting down next to him. "I'm worried about you, about your popularity. This is another time where it’s not about your music, and this time it's being talked about in a negative light instead, even if they’re talking about the same thing. I don't want that for you."

“Don’t worry” Niall said, grabbing his hand and starting to trace the lines on his palm. “I don’t care about any of that. I care about you.”

Zayn’s hand tightened around his. “I do worry though. I want you to have everything and I’m just scared…”

“Zayn” Niall interrupted him. “Don’t go there, please. Everything’ll be alright, Ed’s such a great lad. I’m sure he won’t kick me out or whatever.”

He let Zayn pull him closer, nuzzling his neck.

Zayn kissed his temple. “Speaking of Ed, we should probably go talk to him anyway. I’m not scared of him disapproving because he’s known since the start, but you know…he has to look out for things affecting his image too.”

Niall didn’t say anything, just hugged Zayn even closer in search of comfort.

-

"I wouldn't say it's bad publicity per se" Ed said, looking sheepish. "But the way they're portraying it _is_ bad publicity."

"They're making me look like a pervert." Zayn felt more resigned than angry by now, and he knew a decision had to be made. "If it changes anything, I can leave. As long as you let Niall stay."

"Zayn, no" Niall hissed from his side, but Ed shook his head.

"What? I don't want Niall to leave, I don't want either of you to.” He rubbed his chin tiredly. “I was just thinking that we need to turn this bad publicity back into the good one. The reaction to you as a possible couple was almost entirely positive, and suddenly they've changed their minds? Just shows these fucking paps go with whatever promises to be the biggest story, land them the most hits on their website."

"So you don't...you won't throw me out?" Niall's voice sounded small and it made Zayn's heart ache. He didn't deserve this.

"No!" Ed put a hand on Niall's shoulder, looking at him with sincerity. "You're talented, kid, and I'd be stupid to send you away because of this. You know I've supported you two right from the beginning - even though I'd thought you'd get it together much earlier than you apparently did - and I won't let this happen.”

He let go of Niall’s shoulder and looked at Zayn now, a small smile crinkling his eyes just the slightest bit.

“Listen, I've got an interview in about an hour, and I'm sure they'll ask me about the two of you too. I'll just...tell them what I think about you."

-

**Niall Horan & Zayn Malik - "genuinely love each other"**

**"More caring than any other couple I know" - scandal couple's friends speak up**

**"They've discussed their age difference" - Niall Horan and Zayn Malik don't want "prejudice to destroy what they have"**

**"There's nothing scandalous about two consenting young men who genuinely love each other" - Ed Sheeran on his time with Niall Horan and Zayn Malik**

**Niall Horan's mother says "it's not about age for them"**

It had only taken one day for the headlines to entirely change once again, thanks to Ed's interview and multiple members of their families and friends speaking up on social media or in front of the journalists that had found them.

Zayn was immensely thankful for the people in their lives, but he couldn't help feeling guilty nonetheless.

Maybe if he hadn't blurted out his feelings right in the middle of Paris, in broad daylight...

"Stop beating yourself up about it" Niall, whose head was pillowed on his chest, murmured. "I can practically hear you thinking."

"Sorry" Zayn whispered back. It was late, and they'd gone to bed almost an hour ago, but apparently neither of them could sleep. "It's just...I really could've found a better setting –“

"It was perfect" Niall interrupted him, sitting up a little so he could look at Zayn in the dim light that shone through the blinds. "I wouldn't want to change anything about it. Besides, we would've come out at some point anyway, it was just a matter of time."

"But what if I've made it more difficult for you now? What if this has destroyed your image?"

"I don't see why me being in a steady, loving relationship should do anything to my image" Niall said, leaning down to peck Zayn's lips quickly. "They'll get over it soon enough, don't worry. The yellow press likes blowing things up, but they don't have the energy to keep it up."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Now stop moping, yeah?"

Zayn grinned, thinking about the last time he’d said those words. "That's my line."

He put his arms around Niall's shoulders and pulled him down, so he was laying half on top of him.

"You know what would really distract me from all of this?"

Niall smirked. "I have an idea."

And leaned down to kiss him.

-

"So you've probably already guessed what my first question has to be" the interviewer said after they were done with the welcome and had sat down. "Why me?"

"Well" Niall said, glancing at Zayn from the corner of his eye. "We were told to do this on our own terms, and we both thought of you. You were one of the first ones to interview us together, you know? And you'd figured it all out long before we did."

They were back in the same makeshift studio like the one in Blackpool the year before, the only difference being that this one had a loveseat for Niall and Zayn and it was set up in Stuttgart, Germany, where Ed’s next show would take place in the evening.

"Didn't we already talk about the negative reaction back then?"

"Yeah" Zayn nodded. "You were the first one to tell us there were people who had a problem with me being older than Niall."

"How much older are you, then?"

"It's not even five years" Niall said. "Four and a half, like."

"And you're a couple?"

"Yes." They hadn't planned it, but it came out in unison, with matching happy smiles.

They probably looked like one of those cliché movie couples.

The interviewer - Laura, Zayn knew it this time - smiled. "And you weren't last time we talked."

"No."

"Niall, you did sit on Zayn's lap though, if I remember correctly."

Niall laughed. "Yeah, there weren't enough chairs for everyone."

"But you weren't dating yet?"

"No, but I might've already been in love with him then."

Zayn looked down into his lap and smiled, squeezing Niall's hand.

Laura made a small cooing sound but returned to professionalism quickly.

"How about you, Zayn? Any more than platonic feelings back then?"

"I guess those were kind of there from the beginning" Zayn admitted. "I just didn't want to admit them, not to myself and definitely not to anyone else. I mean, I did have worries along these lines, the age definitely was a factor in the beginning. Until I realised that it doesn’t matter at all.”

Zayn and Niall had talked about what they were willing to give away in interviews and Zayn really hadn’t wanted to explain what exactly had kept him from accepting his feelings. His personal fears and insecurities weren’t something to be shared with the world. So this explanation had to be enough.

“How doesn’t it matter?”

“Well, it’s not about those numbers, is it?” Niall started. “It’s not as if it was that much of a difference. We’re in similar stages of our lives, we’ve got common interests and opinions, similar views on things and the future. Why should we care about those four years? I’m legal, he’s legal, we love each other. That’s all there is to it.”

Laura smiled and nodded and Zayn could tell that she hadn’t needed convincing in the first place – they’d picked the right interviewer.

“What do you have to say to those people who _do_ care about your ages?”

“It’s none of their business” Zayn said immediately. “I could only repeat what Niall has already said, there’s nothing wrong with being in love.”

“Both of you have used the word _love_ strikingly often. You’re serious then?”

“Yeah” both of them said again, nodding.

“Besides, that’s another thing we’ve waited with for a quite long time, so now I feel like saying it every chance I get” Niall explained, turning his head to look at Zayn who felt like he’d barely looked away from him all throughout the interview. Their eyes met and Niall smiled softly before adding quietly: “Or hearing it.”

Zayn’s smile widened and he leaned forwards to press a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Love you” he whispered and Niall laughed, tucking his head into the part of Zayn’s shoulder that seemed to be made for exactly that purpose.

When Zayn remembered they were in fact just doing an interview, he looked back at Laura who didn’t seem to mind their sudden show of affection at all.

It was probably great for the viewer count on her interview.

-

"That interview was definitely the right choice" Claire said over FaceTime that evening. "I've gotten lots of enquiries about more interviews, the video has hundreds of thousands of views and the headlines have become even more positive already, almost no one talks about a scandal anymore. You're gonna be just fine."

"Yeah?" Niall asked, his voice tired bit excited.

"Yes" Claire assured him and winked at Zayn. "Have either of you taken a look at twitter?"

"I did earlier" Zayn said. "It was...interesting. Confusing."

Claire laughed. "Well, from what I could tell – which was hard thanks to unintelligible tweets full of words like "OTP" and "shipping" that I don’t understand – they all support you wholeheartedly."

"My twitter app literally crashed when I opened it" Niall said, his head leaning against Zayn's shoulder heavily. "But if it's all good news..."

“Great news.” Claire smiled softly. “You look like you need some sleep, darling. It’s been a long few days.”

“Yeah” Niall yawned. “Take me to bed, Zaynie?”

Zayn dropped a kiss to his forehead. “Of course.”

He waved at Claire, wishing her a good night and shut Niall’s phone off. No need for any kind of distraction tonight.

“Come on, babe” he murmured, dragging a sleepy Niall into a halfway standing position with him. “Bathroom and then bed, how’s that sound?”

“Dunno why I’m so tired suddenly…jus’ feel exhausted.”

“Well Claire was right when she said it’s been a long few days” Zayn said, carrying Niall more than he walked by himself. “There was a lot going on, would have even if it weren’t for this whole drama. Playing a show in front of an arena every night isn’t exactly an easy job.”

“Can’t believe it’s a job at all” Niall laughed quietly. Zayn felt something swell in his chest, the way it did whenever Niall reacted this awed to something relating to his career. “But yeah, this week was hard.”

“Tomorrow’s a day off, we can stay in bed all day” Zayn promised him just as they reached the bathroom.

Niall smirked and angled his head upwards to press his lips against Zayn’s throat.

“Sounds like a plan” he whispered without moving away, his lips brushing against Zayn’s throat and making him shiver. “This feels like something we should celebrate with tons of intense sex…”

Zayn cleared his throat and swallowed thickly. “I thought you’re exhausted?”

“I am” Niall said, taking a step back to pull his shirt off. With a sultry look he threw it at Zayn who dazedly caught it. “We can do all of the intense fucking tomorrow then. Tonight I think you’re gonna have to be satisfied with lazy shower handjobs. If you hurry up and join me.”

He turned around with one last smirk, playfully tugging on his joggers just as he disappeared inside of the bathroom.

Zayn cursed quietly and hurriedly tugged off his own shirt, throwing it and Niall’s one he was still holding to the floor carelessly.

Niall had already turned the shower on when he followed him into the bathroom, and Zayn could see the pale expanse of his back through the foggy glass. He was suddenly reminded of that first time he’d seen Niall shirtless and the startling effect it had had on him even back then.

Chuckling quietly to himself at his own blindness, Zayn stepped out of his trousers and pants before getting into the shower behind Niall.

Niall hummed when Zayn fitted himself against his back, head dropping with his eyes closed.

"Wash my hair?"

Zayn brushed his lips along the back of his neck and reached for the shampoo bottle, squeezing some of it onto his palm before massaging Niall's scalp carefully.

Niall let out a groan that made Zayn's cock twitch embarrassingly, but he ignored it in favour of taking care of his boyfriend.

"Zayn" Niall hummed while the darker man was washing out the shampoo. "You know that you're _right_ behind me, yeah? I can feel you."

Zayn stilled. "Oh."

"So...are you planning to do anything about it?"

He wriggled his hips a little, prompting a laugh from Zayn. "You're such a little shit, you know that?"

"Yeah" Niall shrugged, turning around in his arms. "Your little shit though."

The warm water was still beating down on them and Niall looked flushed, his wet hair plastered to his forehead, and Zayn loved him _so much_...

When they kissed, there was nothing hesitant or slow about it, their noses bumped rather unpleasantly against one another, but Niall just laughed and held on to Zayn's shoulder harder.

There was water everywhere and Zayn moved them until he had Niall pressed up against the tiled wall, the water now hitting his back.

Niall moaned and hitched his leg up to wrap it around Zayn's hips, effectively pressing their groins together.

Sucking a mark into the pale skin over Niall's collarbone, he could feel Niall's cock fattening against his hip and rocked forward to get some pressure on his own.

"Fuck, Zayn..." Niall hissed, his head knocking back against the tiles.

"Yeah?" Zayn murmured, nipping on Niall's earlobe. "This good?"

"Touch me" Niall ordered, breath hitching when Zayn reached between their bodies, getting a good grip on Niall’s cock.

Watching the way Niall's throat worked when he swallowed his moans turned Zayn on even more and he quickened the movement of his wrist.

He thumbed across Niall's slit, gathering the precome there, smirking at the way Niall was scrambling to find something to hold on to.

His hands slid across the tiled wall fruitlessly and flew up to Zayn's upper arm then, gripping his biceps.

Niall was looking at him now, pupils blown and jaw slack, and Zayn swooped in to kiss him hotly, more a drag of tongues against each other than an actual kiss.

Zayn rolled Niall's balls in his palm for a few seconds before moving further, touching the patch of skin behind them.

Niall's back arched of the wall and his fingers dug painfully into Zayn's arm, but the sound he made made it worth it.

"You like it when I touch you there, yeah?" Zayn murmured, teasing Niall's rim lightly. "Like being fingered, yeah?"

Niall only grunted in reply, rolling his hips so Zayn's finger slipped in until the first knuckle.

"Not tonight, babe" Zayn whispered, removing his hand and relishing in Niall's high pitched whine.

He got his hand around Niall's cock again and went back to pulling him off, kissing along his bared throat.

"Tomorrow though" he continued, biting at the tendon between Niall's shoulder and neck. "Tomorrow, I'm gonna finger you until you're begging for it, until you're so desperate there's nothing else you're gonna be able to think about. And then I'll stop, but I won't fuck you just yet."

He hesitated, not sure where all of this was coming from, but he was achingly hard and from the sounds Niall was making he seemed to be enjoying it, too, so he licked up Niall's neck to his ear and went on.

"Do you know what I'll do? I'll make you turn around, lie on your stomach, your pale little arse up in the air, all ready for me, and I'm gonna rim you."

Niall let out a strangled groan and reached for Zayn's cock that was trapped between their wet bodies, throbbing.

"I'm gonna fuck you with my tongue until your thighs are quivering, until you're absolutely wrecked and all you wanna do is come, but I won't let you."

His voice was shaking from the effort to keep talking even with Niall's hand around his cock.

"And then, I'm finally gonna fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you like you've never been fucked before, and then you're gonna come for me -"

With a shout, Niall came all over Zayn's fist and stomach, and the look on his face in combination with the tightening of his hand around Zayn pushed him over the edge as well.

"Oh my god" Niall panted, stroking Zayn through his orgasm. "Oh my god, Zayn. Jesus."

“Yeah” Zayn giggled breathlessly, resting his forehead against Niall’s shoulder. “Don’t really know what that was either.”

“Fucking hot, ‘s what it was.”

“Not really the lazy handjobs you’d planned, though.”

“Don’t hear me complaining, do ya?” Niall asked with a smirk, reaching for the shower gel to clean them both off. “That was amazing. And…” He lowered his voice, leaning even closer to Zayn. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“Fuck” Zayn muttered and kissed him.

Halfway through, the kiss turned lazy and sluggish and Zayn pulled away with a chuckle.

"Tired, babes?"

"I was already tired before, if you recall" Niall laughed, leaning on him heavily. "But now you've just completely worn me out."

"Let's get you to bed" Zayn said with a fond smile, kissing Niall's nose lightly.

He reached past his boyfriend to turn the water off and manoeuvred them both out of the shower, reaching for a big fluffy towel to wrap Niall up in.

He dried himself off quickly and moved to help Niall, who seemed to be falling asleep standing.

First, he rubbed him dry until his skin was starting to flush a pretty pink while Niall was sluggishly brushing his teeth, and then handed him a fresh pair of boxers to put on.

Niall's eyes were starting to droop adorably and Zayn carded his fingers through his blonde fringe, kissing his cheek softly.

"Go to bed, yeah? I'll be there in a second."

He brushed his own teeth, smiling to himself about the angel that he was somehow lucky enough to call his boyfriend.

He loved every version of Niall, the excited, loud one he was with his friends, the caring one he showed around family and friends, the stage one, the sexy one, the more subdued one that surfaced mostly when it was just the two of them in the evenings, and this one, the sleepy, soft version of Niall.

Some twist of fate hadn't only given him this boy to love, but also made him love Zayn back with some kind of fierce passion that he never would've expected to be directed at him, ever.

He slipped into the bed next to Niall, turning off the lights.

Even in the dark, he knew that he was kissing one of his freckles when he pressed his lips to Niall's shoulder, making the younger boy hum contentedly.

"Love you" he murmured, pulling Niall back against his chest and wrapping his arms around him.

"Love you too."

Niall's reply was barely audible, but his fingers found their place linked with Zayn's in front of their bodies, and Zayn smiled.

 

**1 Year Later**

 

"Are you sure you wanna show me? You've kept them hidden from me for almost two years."

"I wouldn't say I _hid_ it" Zayn protested. They were both kneeling on the floor of the hotel room, a few notebooks between them. "At first I might've been embarrassed about them, but then I simply forgot."

"Why would you be embarrassed about your drawings?" Niall asked, frowning the way he always did when he thought Zayn was too self-conscious for his taste. "I've seen lots of your stuff, and it's all amazing."

"Thanks, babe" Zayn said with a small smile. "It's not the way it's drawn I was embarrassed about, it's more what I drew that would've been a reason at that time."

Niall shook his head with a confused smile. "You're talking in riddles."

"Sorry, yeah, here we go." Zayn pushed the first notebook towards his boyfriend, who reached for it tentatively.

Opening the book revealed doodles like Zayn drew them everywhere, just small things he'd seen or thought about, but he gestured for Niall to keep flipping through the pages.

When he stopped, it was at the sketch of a profile of someone sleeping, from a perspective as if Zayn had been higher up.

He'd always thought that he hadn't gotten the slope of his nose right at all, but Niall recognised it anyway.

"Is that me?" he whispered, awed.

"Yeah" Zayn said quietly. "That was the first time I sketched you. It was one night after you'd fallen asleep on my shoulder."

Niall's smile seemed a little shaky when he leaned over to kiss Zayn softly.

"Was drawing me what you were embarrassed about back then?"

Zayn shrugged, pointing to the book in Niall's lap. "Keep going."

With a curious grim, Niall started turning pages again, random doodles giving way to more and more sketches of the blond in all kinds of situations.

There was one of his shirtless back, detailed enough to show his freckles in almost the right places.

"You're such a creeper" Niall chuckled fondly.

"I'd only seen you like that once back then, when you walked past me after a shower" Zayn explained, thinking about how it had distracted him from Liam on the phone and wondering again how he could’ve stayed oblivious for that long. "I could do much better now."

" _I_ don't know exactly where my freckles are."

"Well, you don't see your backside as often as I do."

Niall snorted and Zayn rolled his eyes.

"Admittedly, that sounded better in my head."

Eventually, Zayn had drawn nothing but Niall, and the pages of his notebooks were littered with portraits, detailed sketches of body parts and depictions of Niall doing everyday things.

"See?" Zayn asked when Niall had gone through both notebooks. "Do you see why I was embarrassed to show anyone?"

"Were those from before we got together?"

"Yeah" Zayn said. "You've seen the ones from after, or at least parts of them. I mean, you're obviously still heavily featured, but it was worse when drawing was my only outlet."

"I love you" Niall said sincerely. "Thank you for showing me these."

"Of course. You were the one being creeped on after all."

Niall laughed. "Doesn't feel that much like creeping, to be honest. And I'm sure if I could draw, my notebook would've looked pretty much the same. With you as the motive obviously."

"So you don't mind?"

"Of course not! Zayn, I was in love with you back then too, I know what it felt like."

He slid closer to Zayn, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's shoulder through his thin t-shirt.

Zayn smiled and put his arm around Niall, kissing the top of his head.

"Good, I just kind of wanted you to know how gone for you I've been since the start."

Niall laughed quietly and twisted his body so he could throw one if his legs across Zayn's, wrapping his arm around his waist and cuddling close.

"I don't have anything like that to show you, but so was I."

"I know." Zayn smiled a little ruefully. "Looking back, it was kind of obvious."

He tapped Niall under the chin and Niall looked up, expression soft.

"I love you" Zayn told him and leaned down to kiss him.

What started out soft and slow quickly turned into something much more heated, when Zayn's hand in Niall's hair made him twist his head upwards in just the right angle to lick into his mouth eagerly.

Niall made a small sound and scrambled to straddle Zayn's hips instead, who pulled him closer, one hand finding its way under Niall's shirt right away.

Niall pushed against his chest until Zayn gave in, letting himself be pushed onto his back.

When Niall rocked forward in his lap, Zayn groaned but put his hands on Niall's hips to stop him.

"Ni" he hissed. "Don't start what you can't finish. We're supposed to meet the others in a few minutes."

"I _could_ finish this in a few minutes" Niall smirked, accentuating his words with another roll of his hips.

Zayn let out another groan and tried to sit up.

"As much as I'd love to, I'd much rather take my time with you later tonight."

"Have you got plans for me, Mr Malik?" Niall's grin was cheeky, but he got off Zayn's lap.

"Always" Zayn teased, pecking his lips before getting on his feet.

"Elaborate?" Niall looked up at him from the floor and Zayn offered him his hand to haul him up, pulling him close as soon as he stood.

"Nope" he said, blowing a raspberry against Niall's neck. "I'll save that for later."

"Tease" Niall grumbled but didn't struggle against Zayn's hold, hooking his fingers through his belt loops instead.

"You're one to talk." Zayn kissed him quickly, close-mouthed, and tried to turn away.

Niall held on though, one of his arms going around Zayn's waist.

"Hey" he said. "I'm really happy you showed me your notebooks, Z. That means a lot."

Zayn smiled, cupping his face with his hands.

"I'm happy I get to show them to you." He pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I love you."

"I love you too" Niall smiled, leaning forward to kiss him with more intent.

He wasn't smaller than Zayn anymore, he'd grown enough over the past year so they were roughly the same height.

His shoulders were also starting to broaden and it was obvious he wouldn't stay as skinny as Zayn had always been, despite of his boxing.

Zayn liked it though, liked feeling the growing muscles in Niall's arms or watching his jaw sharpening as time passed.

He slid his lips along said jaw, feeling the stubble that had slowly started growing after Niall's 18th birthday and that he was extremely proud of, almost as proud as of his chest hair.

"Come on" he murmured, kissing Niall's cheek. "You've invited them all here, we shouldn't keep them waiting."

"They're used to it with us" Niall laughed but let go of Zayn reluctantly.

"Doesn't make it better." Zayn winked and reached for his hand, pulling him towards the door.

They were in a hotel in Spain, a rather small and remote one where they had their privacy.

Niall had invited his and Zayn's families and their closest friends here for a holiday, celebrating the successful ending of his very first own European tour.

He’d started it a couple of months after touring with Ed, and it had lead him through all of Europe, playing small but mostly sold out venues.

Zayn had been with him through it all, as his tour manager/personal security, together with Paul.

As time passed though, his additional role as Niall's boyfriend had made it increasingly harder for him to do his job as bodyguard, because fans had started to want to get to him too, which made it almost impossible for him to shelter Niall from them.

Paul did go to all public events with them though, so Niall was always kept safe.

Apart from that, they were just trying to live their lives as normally as possible.

The hotel they'd chosen had been picked for exactly that reason - it was nice, but not too fancy, and remote enough that there was little chance of anyone finding out they were there or even making their way over.

Niall had offered Paul to come too, even to bring his family, but Paul had said he just wanted to be at home for a while, which was definitely understandable for both Niall and Zayn.

This way, it was just their families, Harry, Louis and Liam who'd come with them.

And all of them were waiting already when Zayn and Niall came down to the restaurant.

Safaa was by their sides right away, ignoring her big brother in favour of hugging Niall excitedly.

"You'll never guess what they're serving for dessert today!" she told him.

"Well how do you know then?" Niall asked. "I thought you were only supposed to find out when it is actually being served."

"I've got connections" Safaa said, ducking out of Zayn's way when he tried to ruffle her hair. "But I won't tell you like this, you'll have to wait."

"You're such a tease, Saf" Niall whined exaggeratedly, making the girl giggle and skip ahead. "Just like her brother."

Zayn just about caught that whisper and pinched Niall's side with a laugh, grabbing his hand to pull him towards the table.

"I'm not even gonna ask" Louis groaned when they arrived. "This is a family dinner and you show up giggling and whispering and bloody groping each other all the time -"

"There has been no groping!" Niall protested.

"Yet" Harry said. "We know you."

Zayn smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, making Liam groan through his laughter. “You’re the worst.”

“You actually love us the most” Niall corrected him with a grin. “And what you wanted to say is how much you’ve missed us.”

“That, too” Liam chuckled. “This holiday has been a great idea, admittedly.”

“With you always on tour we never get to see you anymore” Harry pouted.

“Aw, Haz” Niall said. “You’re really busy yourself these days, with promoting your album and stuff.”

“Yeah, don’t complain Harold, save that for me and Liam. We’re just stuck in London all the time.”

“As if that’s so bad” Zayn snorted. “I heard you’ve started writing songs together now.”

“Yeah, well, turns out we’re really good actually” Louis shrugged. “We’ve met up with some pretty cool people already, you know, to improve even more. Gotta get into the same industry you’re all in somehow, right?”

“Besides, we gotta have a sort of base in London, right?” Niall said. “Something to come home to.”

“Aw” Liam made, exaggeratedly clutching his chest. “Thanks, Nialler.”

“Speaking of home” Harry started, turning towards Niall and Zayn. “I hear you’re finally looking into getting an apartment together?”

“Yeah” Zayn smiled, hand resting on the back of Niall’s neck softly. “We’ve picked out a flat last week, actually.”

“Are you having a housewarming party?” Louis asked eagerly.

“Sure, Lou” Niall laughed. “Once we’ve actually moved in, we will.”

Liam looked at Louis with a frown. “What Louis is trying to say, is that we’re really happy for you. Congrats.”

“Obviously.”

“Thanks, lads.”

Zayn’s hand was still playing with the hair at the nape of Niall’s neck and the blonde placed one of his hands on his boyfriend’s thigh, squeezing lightly.

The smile they exchanged made their friends groan loudly again, but Niall didn’t care.

-

“You’re not around as often as I wish you were” Trisha said later when they'd moved from the dining room to the outside bar with sea view.

She patted Niall's cheek softly and continued: "I'm not only saying this because I miss my son but also because you're family now too, but you've never spent more than a couple of days with us up in Bradford."

"Aw, Trisha" Niall said, touched. "I promise I'm gonna try and make more time for you."

"You better" Zayn's mum replied, smiling at her son when he came to stand with them. "These days I only get to see you in magazines. I mean I'm glad your fans have taken a liking to Zayn as well and most people seem to like you as a couple, but those glossy pictures just aren't enough."

"Aww, mum" Zayn made. "Are you trying to guilt trip Niall into coming home for Christmas?"

"Well, it's still a couple of months until Christmas, but you gotta plan ahead, yeah?"

Niall laughed and Zayn put an arm around him.

"We'll think about it, mum. But who knows, we might want to spend it in our own flat."

"You found one?" Maura, who had been approaching them, asked excitedly, exchanging a wide-eyed look with Trisha.

"Yeah" Niall grinned. "Signed the contract right before we came here."

Both women cheered and pulled their sons into some sort of group hug, attracting the attention of the rest of their group.

“What’s going on?” Yaser, Zayn’s dad, asked curiously, stepping close enough to touch his wife’s elbow.

“Zayn and Niall are moving in together!”

“We knew that already” Yaser said with a frown.

“What mum is trying to say is that we’ve got our own flat now, dad” Zayn explained.

“You found one?”

“I guess you have to accept your children have grown up when they buy property without asking for your advice” Bobby said with a smile, putting a hand each on Zayn and Niall’s shoulders. “Congrats, lads.”

“Does this mean you’re getting married now?” Safaa piped up, making the adults laugh.

“Not yet, Saf” Zayn chuckled and completely missed Niall’s smile and the glance their mothers exchanged when he managed to ruffle her hair this time, much to her disgruntlement.

“You’ve basically already lived together though” Waliyha said. “What’s the big deal?”

Doniya shushed her from where she was sitting. “Wait until you move in with someone for the first time, it _is_ something special.”

“Not that I want you to move in with anyone anytime soon” Yaser said quickly. “No rush.”

The group broke off into several smaller conversations and Niall turned to stand in front of Zayn, causing him to drop his arm off his shoulder.

“So” he started, moving them a bit until they were stood right by the bar, in a corner. “Not yet, huh?”

Zayn flushed visibly, even in the dim light. “Uh…well. I – I didn’t really mean to say it that way, I guess, I just –“

Niall interrupted him by putting his hands on Zayn’s waist, squeezing lightly and smirking at him. “Reckon I’m a bit young to start thinking about marrying, ‘m not even 19 yet. But I do want to marry you eventually.”

“Yeah?” Zayn breathed.

“Yeah.” Niall punctuated his words with a quick kiss and leaned back again. “Ask me again in a few years.”

“I didn’t even _ask_ , what are you on about, shut up” Zayn complained, but Niall could see the smile tugging on the corner of his mouth and he pressed another kiss there.

“Close enough for me” he shrugged. “And now come on, let’s dance.”

“I don’t dance with the likes of you.”

“Ohh, with the likes of me? I seem to remember us re-enacting a certain musical that one time…”

“Nothing of the sort ever happened” Zayn denied. “I was merely humouring you.”

“Obviously” Niall snorted. “Come on, I’m not asking you to do the salsa, we can just sort of sway to salsa music.”

“Are you gonna wrestle me to the dance floor?”

“I could.”

“You could not.”

“Are you looking for a fight?”

“ _I’m_ the boxer here.”

"And I'm still sure I stand a chance" Niall said with his cockiest grin.

"Oh my god" Zayn half groaned, half laughed. "Are we actually gonna do this, then?"

"Later, in our room." Niall was trying to go for challenging and seductive at the same time and from the way Zayn's eyed narrowed first and then widened, he seemed to have succeeded. " _If_ you dance with me now."

Sighing exaggeratedly, Zayn threw up his hands in a gesture of resignation. "Fine, one song."

-

Other guests had come and gone on the dance floor, they'd goofed around with Louis, Liam and Harry, Zayn's sisters and even little Theo, Niall's new born nephew, before he'd fallen asleep in Maura's arms, and Zayn was still there with Niall, swaying to salsa music.

"I didn't know your parents could salsa" Niall said quietly, watching as Trisha and Yaser went back to the bar to get refreshments.

"Yeah, they took a course a couple of years back" Zayn explained. “Pretty sick, right?”

“It is, yeah. Fancy taking one too?”

Zayn laughed, muffling the noise by pressing his face against Niall’s shoulder.

“Before our wedding, then.”

“Yeah, okay” Zayn said, “If you stop making it seem like I just got down on one knee and you turned me down.”

“I’m not!” Niall protested. “I just like the idea of you having thought about it.”

“You’re a sap” Zayn mumbled, but Niall could feel his smile where his face was now pressed against Niall’s neck.

“Love you too, you prick.”

“I don’t wanna interrupt anything” Louis, who was suddenly standing right next to them, said, “but Harry wants you to come back and chill with us on the beach.”

“I did _not_ send him!” Harry called from where he was waiting with Liam. “Louis did this all on his own.”

“Fiiiiiine“ Louis admitted. „I might want you to come with, too.”

“The beach?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah, it’s not even a five minute walk, come on Malik.”

“Niall?”

“Sure” Niall shrugged. “Let’s go to the beach.”

"They're coming!" Louis yelled at their friends way too loudly, prompting all the remaining guests to look their way but not caring at all.

They got a few "Be safe!" calls and a mostly jokingly said "Don't stay out too late" from their parents and then they were off, following Louis on the small path to the beach.

"Somehow this is much less creepy during the day" Harry said, stumbling over roots and small rocks.

"We can turn around if you want to" Liam offered, but Louis blundered on.

Niall just held on to Zayn's hand tightly, neither of them saying anything.

He could feel Zayn's grip tightening briefly whenever something made him jump, but they reached the open beach before too long, and the reflection of the moon on the relatively calm sea brightened up the dark.

"Okay" Harry breathed, lifting his fancy camera up to his eyes. "This was totally worth it."

"Beautiful, yeah" Liam agreed, and Louis grinned triumphantly.

Niall just snuggled further into Zayn's side. It _was_ beautiful, but unfortunately it wasn't all that warm away from the sheltered hotel terrace.

Zayn rubbed his arm to warm him up and pressed a kiss to the top of his head before turning to the other lads.

"How about we take a walk instead of chilling? It'll help us stay warm."

"It's quite chilly, innit?" Liam said. "A walk sounds good."

"Fine with me, I can find more motives for my photographs then."

"Are you a musician or a photographer, Harold?" Louis asked, but started walking anyway.

It was easy, was the thing. Being with these people was what Niall loved most, what made him happiest.

Zayn's arm around him, listening to their friends bickering, that was home.

-

By the time they got back to the hotel, all five of them were cold and thirsty, so when Louis suggested going to the hotel bar, they all happily agreed.

"The alcohol will warm us up too" Liam cheered, hurrying ahead to get inside.

"Wasn't there something we wanted to do in our hotel room?" Zayn asked quietly so only Niall could hear him.

The blonde laughed. "I haven't forgotten" he promised. "Later, though. Let's have a drink first."

A drink turned into two, then three, then more. It was mostly beer, but occasionally Louis or Liam or Niall himself would convince the rest to have a shot of something, usually a drink they'd never heard of before and just picked for the funny sounding names.

They got increasingly louder the more alcohol had flowed, until the bartender shut them off for the night after Niall and Harry had gotten up for an impromptu rendition of “ _Copacabana”_.

“I hate that fucking song!” Louis had yelled, slapping his thighs and howling with laughter anyway.

Zayn had rolled his eyes and pretended not to find it funny at all while Liam was giggling drunkenly and hiding behind a bar stool so people wouldn’t know he belonged with them.

That had been his explanation at least when Zayn had called him out on it.

By the time they finally got back to their room, Niall was still beyond tipsy, stumbling a little so Zayn, who'd declined all of the shots and was thus much less drunk, had to steady him with a hand on his waist.

"You always make sure I don't fall, Zaynie" Niall whispered dreamily, holding on to Zayn even when they'd made it inside safely. "You're so strong."

Zayn laughed quietly. "Thanks?"

Niall took a careful step backwards, letting go of Zayn and cocking his head.

"I'm still gonna beat you."

Zayn laughed louder this time, taking a step towards Niall who'd taken a protective stance, fists in front of his chest.

"Show me what you got, then."

Niall surged forward, fist balled, and punched him in the upper arm, not hard, but more precise than Zayn had expected.

"See?" Niall grinned, scuttling from one foot to the other. "Didn't expect that, didya?"

Zayn pouted playfully but realised that he'd have to be a bit more forceful with his manoeuvres than the light tapping he’d planned.

Niall still had his arms ready to defend against Zayn's fists, but Zayn went in fast. Instead of going for his upper half though he dipped down, grabbing Niall’s legs and swiping him off his feet and back onto the bed, laughing at the undignified squeak he let out.

He pinned Niall's wrists above his head, simply lying down on top of the blonde to hold him down. Niall let out another squeak that died in his throat as he shivered realising what a compromising position he was in.

"Who’s surprised now, babes?" Zayn stuck his tongue out teasingly, more than pleased with the way this had turned out.

Niall wiggled pathetically under him, struggling against his hold. The movement caused them to brush their groins together and Zayn hissed. Niall threw his head back, the adrenaline from their play fight mixed with the leftover alcohol making the experience even more intense than usual.

Zayn leaned down and started sucking on the skin where Niall's jaw and neck met, obviously going for a love bite, making Niall groan and cry out.

"Doesn't feel good to lose, does it?" Zayn tested but all Niall could muster in response was a moan.

He moved his mouth from Niall's neck down to his collarbone, tugging on his shirt to reveal the skin.

"Feels pretty damn good right now, to be honest" Niall panted, a belated reply that made Zayn smirk.

"So you admit I've won?"

"If you keep this up I'll agree to pretty much everything you say" Niall said, no longer struggling against the hold Zayn still had on his wrists.

"You're way too easy, love" Zayn joked and rolled his hips forward just the slightest bit, both of them emitting low groans.

"Nah, you're just way too hot."

Zayn kissed him and sat up, straddling his hips.

He had to let go of Niall's wrists but the blonde kept them above his head, watching Zayn shrug. "Could take your shirt off. You know, against the heat."

Niall burst out laughing. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm so in love with such an idiot."

Zayn grinned, wriggling his hips. "Because I make you laugh when I'm literally sitting on your dick?"

"Might be" Niall gave back casually. "Could be more literal later of you feel like going for a second round."

" _Second_ round?" Zayn repeated. "Have you forgotten how to count?"

"Nope" Niall said, his fingers slipping under Zayn's shirt at his hips, pressing into the skin there. "But to be honest, all I've thought about tonight is you fucking me, so I think we should do that first."

"Oh god" Zayn groaned, palms on Niall's chest when he leaned forward to kiss him. "Okay, yeah."

Niall's hands slid further up his back under his shirt, caressing his skin that was heating up already.

They kissed like that for a few minutes, until Niall had Zayn’s shirt bunched up under his armpits and Zayn moved away a bit to take it off.

Niall’s shirt followed right after and Zayn got up to step out of his skinny jeans, making quick work of Niall’s too.

In just his pants, he kneeled down at the foot of the bed, looking up at Niall who was watching him curiously.

Carefully, he pressed his lips to Niall’s knee first, the dodgy one.

Niall’s eyes were trained on him, hands behind his head, as Zayn slowly made his way up his pale leg, pressing kisses to the soft skin of his inner thigh.

There was no sound but Niall’s loud breathing and the rustling of the sheets underneath him when he parted his legs further for Zayn to fit, almost involuntarily.

Teasingly, Zayn skipped the entire area covered by Niall’s tight boxer briefs, sliding his hands up his thighs to grip his hips before leaning down again to continue his kissing trail on Niall’s tummy.

Niall giggled when Zayn blew air in his belly button but stilled when he moved on to do the same thing to one of his nipples.

When he started sucking on it lightly, Niall let out a whine, gripping a handful of Zayn’s hair and tugging, making Zayn groan.

“Come up here“, Niall said, voice already hoarse, and Zayn listened, lips meeting in a frantic kiss.

He lifted his other arm from behind his head, wrapping it around Zayn’s shoulders to pull him down. Zayn let him, left hand sliding down to Niall’s knee and hitching his leg up so he would fit between them better.

Niall groaned and bit Zayn’s bottom lip, leg thrown across the back of Zayn’s thigh, keeping them flush together.

“Fuck” he mumbled, and Zayn’s hand slid into the back of his pants, cupping his butt.

“So” Zayn mumbled, thrusting forward once, with precision. He was nibbling on Niall’s earlobe, the blonde having gone pliant in his arms, blissed out. “How about that fucking you talked about earlier?”

“We should totally” Niall panted, “get to that right about now.”

“So eager, huh?” Zayn teased, littering bruises all along Niall’s throat.

“Yeah, fuck” Niall breathed. “I’ve been thinking about you since before dinner. Because you’re such a bloody tease, wouldn’t even let me get my hand on your cock.”

Zayn laughed breathily, the little rocking motions they’d taken up making him feel dizzier than the beers earlier had. “That bad?”

“Jesus, yeah” Niall groaned. “I’m still a teenager, I’m always horny.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

“It’s not like you’re complaining” Niall said, fingers slipping underneath the waistband of Zayn’s pants. “You’re just as bad.”

“Can’t really resist you, can I?“ Zayn whispered, palming Niall through his briefs and kissing his bared throat when the blonde threw his head back, swallowing thickly.

“What are you waiting for, then?” Niall growled and Zayn didn’t hesitate, pulling down his pants in one swift movement before going for Niall’s.

He got lube and a condom from the bedside drawer and lifted Niall’s legs he could reach between them comfortably.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah, Zayn, fuck. Won’t need long today.”

Zayn coated his fingers in lube, kissing Niall’s thigh softly before pressing one of them against his rim, rubbing lightly and listening to Niall’s sudden intake of breath.

“Stop bloody teasing me you _prick_ –“

Two fingers slid in easily and Niall’s words ended in a choked of groan.

Soon enough, he started rolling his hips impatiently, moaning whenever Zayn’s fingers brushed his prostate, pleading for more.

Zayn added a third finger, slowly, but Niall hadn’t lied when he’d said he was still stretched enough. Again, it didn’t take long for him to adjust, hips pushing back onto Zayn’s fingers restlessly.

“Please, Zayn” he moaned. “Please, want you.”

Zayn hummed and continued thrusting his fingers in and out a couple of times, Niall’s breathy moans turning into whining.

He hissed when Zayn removed his fingers, lifting his head to watch him put on the condom.

“Can I?” he asked, reaching for the lube and Zayn barely had time to breathe out a “yeah” before Niall had his hand on his cock, slick with lube.

“Fuck, Niall” he groaned when the blonde’s callused hands tightened around him, skilfully flicking his wrist. “Stop, that’s enough.”

Niall let go and grabbed him by the neck, pulling him in for a snog that left them both breathless.

Zayn was still kneeling on the bed, sitting on his heels, and Niall had crowded in close, their knees knocking against each other.

“Lemme just –“, Niall said, one arm around Zayn’s neck, and slid onto Zayn’s lap, lowering himself down on his cock without hesitation.

They both moaned loudly when Niall sank down, and Zayn wound one arm around his back to steady him.

“Jesus Christ, you’re gonna kill me” Zayn groaned when Niall started bouncing just a little bit. “Come on, though, this is fucking uncomfortable on my knees.”

Niall giggled and kissed him, letting himself be manhandled when Zayn lowered them onto the bed, Niall on his back.

He kept one arm around Zayn’s neck and his legs wrapped around his waist, groaning quietly when Zayn pressed a kiss to his shoulder before pulling out and slowly pushing back in.

Zayn picked up the pace of his thrusts when Niall grew restless again, arm tightening around Zayn while his other hand gripped the bed sheets tightly.

“More, Zayn, please, faster” he moaned, his ankles slipping in the sweat that was starting to gather on Zayn’s lower back.

“Wait, yeah, can we…” Zayn started, pulling out completely so Niall could put his legs on his shoulders instead, crossing his ankles behind Zayn’s head now.

The new angle made it easier for Zayn to thrust deeply and from the increasing volume of Niall’s moans he could tell this was great for both of them.

He got his hand around Niall, slick with precome already, and started pulling him off in time with his thrusts.

“Fucking – Zayn, I’m gonna…”

“Yeah, babe, come on” Zayn groaned. “Come on, wanna see you come.”

He thumbed across the head of Niall’s cock, leaning down to kiss him messily and felt Niall tighten around him, making the muscles in his stomach contract in familiar heat.

Niall’s fingernails dug into the skin at his shoulder, his mouth went slack against his, and then he was coming, long spurts of white all across his stomach.

He clenched around Zayn and opened his eyes to look at him and Zayn couldn’t hold back any longer.

He came inside of Niall, spilling into the condom and rocking through his orgasm as Niall worked him through it, until he winced from the oversensitivity.

Collapsing heavily on top of Niall, Zayn tried to calm down his breathing.

Niall was rubbing his sweaty back, sticky chest rising just as quickly as Zayn’s, but he was pressing soft kisses to his shoulder and whispering sweet nothings into the hot air between them.

Blindly, Zayn tied the condom and threw it in the general direction of the bin, not really caring where it went.

“I love you” Zayn said, rolling off Niall but keeping their hands entangled.

“Love you more” Niall said with a smile, and Zayn lifted himself onto his elbow once more so he could kiss him.

“Whose room is it next to ours again?”

Niall chuckled. “Louis’ I think, but didn’t he wanna go kip at Harry’s anyway?”

“Probably still scarred from last night” Zayn mused, eyes twinkling. “He’s gonna hate us if we do actually go for a second round.”

“Don’t care” Niall laughed, rolling onto his side and swinging one leg across Zayn’s, hand on his chest. “Can we cuddle for a bit first?”

“Is that even still a question at this point?” Zayn asked back, pulling him closer and nuzzling his neck. “Post-sex cuddles, sleepy cuddles, daytime cuddles – I’ll do them all.”

“Yay” Niall cheered weakly, lifting one hand and dropping it on Zayn’s waist. “This is a nice holiday.”

“It is” Zayn hummed and kissed his nose. “Thanks to you.”

Niall smiled and brought him in for a quick kiss. “I’m glad we brought everyone along, I love spending time with them, but…someday, we’re gonna have to go on a holiday, just the two of us.”

“Oh, definitely” Zayn said. “You know…at the very latest for our honeymoon.”

Niall laughed and pinched his side. “Shut up.”

“You love it.”

“Maybe a bit.”

“A lot.”

“A teeny tiny bit.”

Zayn’s fingers slid along Niall’s side, tickling him and the blonde squeaked and started giggling, trying to pull away, his body contracting.

“Look what you’ve done!” he yelled, still laughing and wriggling under Zayn. “I’ve nearly kneed you in the bollocks!”

Zayn stopped tickling him but didn’t move away, still lying half on top of Niall. “What a shame that would’ve been.”

Niall giggled. “I’d miss your bollocks.”

Zayn smirked, grinding against Niall’s thigh once. “Yeah?”

“You horndog” Niall laughed but pulled him closer so they could kiss. “Already?”

-

“I think I remember a certain someone telling me the moving out part was the hard one” Niall said from where he was starfished on the cool kitchen tiles. “ _”Don’t worry, moving in will feel like a holiday.”_ Ha!”

“That’s not how I sound at all!” Zayn protested. He was lying on their new sofa, one arm hanging down the side limply.

“It fucking is.”

“We’ve done it, though” Zayn tried. “We’ve officially moved into our own flat.”

Niall just grumbled.

“I don’t even know what the harder part was” Zayn mused, slowly getting up and walking towards the bathroom. “All the carrying we had to do or our mums going on and on about decorations and patterns and cleaning as if we hadn’t already lived alone.”

“Or our dads acting as if neither of us had ever assembled a fucking IKEA shelf.”

Niall patted the floor next to him invitingly and Zayn sat down with a sigh.

“I’m glad they’re gone, to be honest.”

“Me too” Niall nodded, lifting his head a few inches only to drop it in Zayn’s lap again. “Kind of drove me mad, that.”

"The lads weren't much better" Zayn continued, lazily massaging Niall's scalp. "Laughing at us and lazing around, like. Thanks for the help."

"Let's never move again" Niall sighed.

"Or if we do, let's get a moving company to do it for us. It's not like we can't afford it."

"That'd be better" Niall said thoughtfully. "Since we might have to move again at some point, this isn't exactly a perfect flat to raise children in, there's no garden, no playgrounds around, the street -"

"Children?" Zayn interrupted and Niall flushed prettily.

"I - not in the sense of _“let's start a family right now!”_ but...I've always kind of pictured my life with a couple of kids around, yeah?"

Zayn smiled softly and leaned down to kiss him. "Yeah, I want that too. Eventually."

"And like, it'd sort of be a crime not to pass your genes on, right? Although, if we don't want a surrogate, I'd be fine with adopting too -"

"Ni" Zayn laughed, interrupting him again. "I love you, but let's not have this talk right now, alright? We've only just moved in together, you're nineteen and I’m not yet past the mid-twenties. We're young and in love, let's enjoy what we have for a bit, yeah?"

Niall smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, of course. All that talk about Doniya’s baby must’ve messed with my head a little.”

“God, don’t remind me” Zayn groaned. “Mum’s going absolutely crazy over it, let’s not give her any ideas.”

Niall laughed quietly. "Nah, mum's already begging Greg and Denise for a second grandchild and Theo's still a wee baby, she'd be all over the idea too."

He shuddered exaggeratedly, making Zayn laugh.

"No baby talk at this point, then."

Niall nodded. “Bit scary anyway. You know, I can barely take care of myself, how should I do that for another person? Except you, maybe.”

“You take good care of me with your Jamie Oliver 15-minute-meals” Zayn teased and Niall punched his thigh lightly.

“They’re fucking ace, is what they are.”

“Sure, babes.” Zayn winked but resumed the movement of his fingers in Niall’s hair, who hummed contently.

Zayn looked down at him for a few minutes, neither of them saying anything.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page, though. One day, we’re gonna get married and we’re gonna start a family.”

Niall smiled and sat up, cuddling into Zayn’s side and pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Sounds perfect to me.”

“For now though, let’s focus on what we’re gonna have for dinner and in which places all over our brand new flat we’ll have sex first.”

Niall snorted. “The important things, obviously.”

Zayn kissed him soundly. “Obviously.”

“For the other stuff” Niall said. “We’ve got time, yeah?”

Zayn smiled, squeezing Niall’s hand where their fingers were intertwined.

“All the time in the world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it, then. i've worked on this fic for quite a few months, and i've been thinking about it for what must be close to a year, so it feels like quite a milestone to have actually finished it. i never thought i'd write an almost 70k long fic, and i wouldn't have managed to do it without the constant support you guys have given me. thanks to tori, who's been supportive as ever even when she hasn't always been up to date, to my sister annika who is the only person i know irl that will ever get to read these, to kendra, nara, nikki, megan, lidia, kevin, vero, meg, tina, katelyn, aurora and everyone else who has ever cheered me on, left a comment or sent an ask, i love you all!!  
> thank you for reading and leaving more kudos than i would've ever expected, i really hope you all liked this last chapter :) x


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